PUA Blogger

Ok, so mostly just turned on it’s head. I’ll warn you now if you are reading this post looking for the usual article, keep scrolling to the next post. This is a personal diatribe.

The last few months of my life have been rocky.. From my split with Charisma Arts to starting this new venture has had some interesting ups and downs. I feel a little like a manic depressive, I had days where I work 14 hours straight on developing Charisma Coaching, and I have had days where I have sat on the couch and done nothing but play video games and watch movies while drowning my blues in alcohol. Being unemployed has had an interesting effect on my self image and happiness as well. When I am getting phone coaching and private clients I am on top of the world. Sitting in an empty room hoping people show up to my talks has driven me to drink on more than one occasion. The main thing that I have stumbled upon this morning with the help of my dear friend Jonah, is that I have been going about this all wrong.

I love teaching men and women how to flirt, date, and communicate. In learning it myself it opened up the doors to a huge amount of success in my life. I realized that communicating better improved my relationships, my sex life, my work life, and generally made me so much happier. However I realize inside of me there is this shame. I was ashamed of what I did for a living when I was working with Charisma Arts. I loved the teaching and changing peoples lives. I openly told people what I did for a living and was proud of it. What I was ashamed of is what people thought when they went to the website and saw all over it “Succeed with women”, “Be Amazing with Women!”, “Learn the art of Seduction!”. It made me cringe to think people saw me as an instructor of that.

My shame in that is what shaped my vision of my current venture. The problem is that I became too generalized in an attempt to legitimize what I teach. Everyone can use what I teach but it is too difficult to see how it can solve the symptoms of what makes people unhappy. Marketing my workshops has been insanely difficult. I feel like I am selling ice to eskimos. No one thinks like “The reason I am unable to meet the man/woman of my dreams is because I don’t know how to communicate well.” I was selling the cure and forgetting to talk about the symptoms. By being ashamed of coming off as a “Pick Up Artist”, I went in a direction that was a marketing disaster.

Well I still don’t and never will claim I am a “Pick Up Artist”. I am having a new vision of where this company is going to go. I still have a vision to teach communication skills to people for all aspects of their lives, but I realize I need to attack it from a different angle. I am turning my focus back to dating exclusively. The thing that will differentiate me is that I am not going to exclusively just teach men, or just teach women. I am in the market for a vivacious passionate female instructor to co-teach with me and help develop content for Charisma Coaching. If anyone knows of anyone please send them my way. I am going to cut back on workshops and instead focus on this blog more, start doing regular podcasts and develop an audio product and a book. Of course I will still be offering private in-person and phone coaching. Once we get a stronger following and larger market we will open up the workshops again.

So what does that mean to you as a reader? MORE! You are going to get more blog posts, more content, and more podcasts. The name of things may change, but the vision I have is still strong and will slowly evolve. Also I am going to start blogging about my personal life and things about me. I am hoping to bring in more bloggers so there should be a lot more content as well.

Bear with me as these changes are going to be interesting but I think everyone will benefit from being more focused on building my business around good content.

Thanks for reading!

Let me cut to the chase. I wouldn’t waste time with John Alanis (www.johnalais.com) or Joseph Matthews Charm School (www.purepersonality.com), both of which are, in my opinion, vastly overpriced recycled fluff. For the money ($400+), I’d highly recommend a few coaching sessions with AMP (www.authenticsf.com), where you can work with an expert to address your PERSONAL needs.

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The first time I saw it I did a double take. A man and a woman, who were obviously together, wore headphones on their individual iPods at the same time. I’ve also seen it with same sex friends, usually girls, who sit next to each other on the bus, both wearing headphones. Every now and then they remove one headphone to communicate a few words, and then put it right back.

Only an American can take music, something which if you look at the history is supposed to bring people together, and use it in a way to isolate themselves further from friends and lovers. It’s no coincidence that none of my close friends own iPods. If someone cannot tolerate the company of their own mind for an hour then there is no reason why another human should.

P.S. My book Bang is now available on Amazon.com and qualified for Super Saver shipping.

Social Incompetents

Today I drove past a store that sells guns and gold. A gun can be a lot of things, one of which is the most useful thing in the world – given the wrong situation. Gold is about survival, especially now. If the economy collapses further, as many economists predict, gold may be a safe place to keep your money.

The pairing makes sense like chicken and waffles does. Two totally different products that are both used by much of the same demographic.

Across the street was a billboard. I followed the rusty post up to the fresh advertisement at the top. “Niemann Marcus at The Domain! Manolo Blahnik! Gucci!”. Against the pink background were giant car sized images of expensive stiletto heels.

My gut reaction was shock and a tinge of disgust. Who BUYS this stuff?

Well, me for one. Not anymore, but I used to go to Niemann Marcus every week. I’d spend an hour or two going through all of the new arrivals, particularly Cavalli. I would buy nearly anything made by Cavalli, sometimes even if it didn’t fit me.

I was so into it.

That changed when Life Nomadic came into the picture. Even if I didn’t change my mindset, I knew it didn’t make sense to buy clothes I’d be leaving behind. I slowly tapered off buying new clothes.

My mindset changed when It was time to sell everything. I brought beautiful expensive clothes to the thrift store. They gave me pennies on the dollar. Shirts I had spent twenty minutes deliberating on were given a glance and thrown into a pile after being tacked with a “$5” tag.

And that’s when I had my epiphany. This stuff is worthless.

I have only one pair of pants now. They are grey brushed nylon and they zip off at the knees to make shorts. Because I wore them as shorts in the sun so much,the pant legs are a bit darker than the shorts part.

I have three shirts, one plain black, one plain blue, and one plain red. They’re identical other than the color.

When I told a long time friend this today his immediate response was, “Wait… you’ve been wearing the same pants all these times I’ve seen you in the past few months?”

Yup. Know why? Because IT DOESN’T MATTER and no one really even notices. People are way too busy evaluating whether or not they look okay to actually judge how you look.

Pop quiz – what was your best friend wearing yesterday? Can you remember what anyone was wearing yesterday?

I’m not saying fashion doesn’t matter at all. It does, and I’m glad the industry exists. My shirts fit me well, and that makes me happy. I like that my pants are relatively slim. I think it’s great to have clothes that you enjoy that look good on you. Having a unique style that reflects your personality is an excellent thing.

And I’d be lying if I told you that my pulse doesn’t quicken just a hair when I see a girl who is dressed perfectly.

What bothers me is the pervasive attitude of caring SO MUCH about one’s image. And of course I’ve been a sucker for this worse than 99% of the people. I just had to have a Mercedes and designer clothes and a Rolex and all that garbage. I was focused on it.

I see people now who are so obviously OBSESSED with what they look like and I feel this deep pity. I know that I could try to explain all this to them, but they wouldn’t care. I wouldn’t have cared either.

What I’ve learned is that people don’t care who you LOOK LIKE, they care who you ARE. If your clothes give a hint about who you REALLY are, that’s great. If they’re pushing you as someone you’re not, you’ve got a major problem on your hands.

Focus on what matters. Image is an easy way to feel like you’re improving yourself without actually having to do it.

If you like my writing and don’t have a love life you’re totally satisfied with, check out my full course on dating here.

I have some news for everyone, I know this is going to come as a shock since I’ve barely seen any coverage of it myself, but did you know that the presidential election is only one week away? Seriously, I didn’t realize it either, but that’s what happens when you live in a craft beer fueled haze and only stop to watch Lost. So naturally, the first move I made when I learned that we were choosing our next commander and chief was to learn everything I could about how the candidates matched up in the most important qualification there is. Beer.

As I was about to begin my journey I realized I needed a beer before I could sort through this. So my first step was to grab the most non-partisan presidential beer available. Avery Brewing Co’s Ale to the Chief. And I have to say, this was a great way to start. Avery took a classic American Pale ale, and dry hopped the ever loving crap out of it to make a brew reminiscent of the Dogfish Head IPAs. The beer is a little too malty for it’s own good though, and while it was faint I think I tasted a little bit of Old English at the bottom of the glass when the beer had warmed up significantly. Still, the beer was, for the most part, very good. The best feature of the brew is how well it hides it’s significant alcohol content. Occasionally, 8.75% ABV will make a beer taste too much like alcohol (just look at Molson XXX, it’s 7.3% alcohol and tastes like stale old hard liquor.) Of course, the high alcohol content also made me look forward to drinking even more.

Senator John McCain, R – AZ, Republican Party Candidate:

Senator McCain would appear to have a decent chance to win this, why? His wife. Yes, seriously, McCain’s beer credentials come from his wife. Cindy McCain, born Cindy Hensley, is the chair of Hensley & Co, the massive AZ Beer Wholesaler. A quick trip to the Hensley Website’s product line started to dissuade some of my confidence in McCain as a beer man. Hensley is a distributor of the beer equivalent to the Evil Empire, Anheuser Busch. They boast such fantastic products as Bud Light, Natural Ice and the foul agave beer mismatch Tequiza, which essentially tastes like someone puked a bunch of tequila into a bucket of beer and then decided to drink it. Due to an error in judgement on the part of my sister during a visit, I have one of the more repulsive beers in their product line in my fridge at this moment. Pray for me as I drink:

Michelob Ultra Tuscan Orange Grapefruit: Before I even sip this I’d like to make it clear that I am fundamentally opposed to this beer. It smells like a box of clementines, which actually isn’t bad, it’s just not want I want in a beer. To be clear, there are EXCELLENT fruit beers. There is a Belgian style of beer known as Fruit Lambics that involve spontaneous fermentation of yeast and the addition of fresh fruit syrups that just make for a fantastic drink. However, there are NO citrus Lambics and when I sip this I think I’m going to find out why. This is not beer. Beer involves hops and malts and grains and this has none of that. It’s the color of an American style macro lager, and it has bubbles, but that’s it. It tastes like drinking rotton orange seltzer. I had a can of orange seltzer with my lunch the other day, and it tasted a lot like this, except this has the grapefruit flavor too. I don’t know what the hell to make of this, it’s not a beer, it’s an alcopop, I refuse to believe this has the stated 4.2% alcohol. Moving on.

McCain really takes a hit with this one just because it’s so bad. It only deals with him on the periphery, but I’d have to see his opponent drinking this and enjoying it to take the stain off of it’s existence and his wife’s willingness to sell this to unsuspecting 14 year old girls looking to get drunk without having to taste anything.

To be fair to the McCains, as well as Anheuser-Busch, if forced to choose between any of the big Macro beers Budweiser is going to my choice everytime. So they’re better off distributing A-B than the disreputable and despicable Coors brand.

Bi-Partisan Brewing

But what about beers that bear the name of the candidates themselves? All are limited edition, obviously, but two stand in the election debate:

Half Moon Bay’s Mavericks “Alection” 08. Obama Ale vs McCain Ale.

The California based brewery saw an opportunity to make themselves known throughout the West Coast and the relied on the “Alection” to do it. Part marketing gimmick and part beer innovation, Half Moon Bay is offering a contest and asking drinkers to chime in and choose which beer they would rather drink. According to the website, each purchase of either Obama Ale or McCain Ale counts as one “vote” for that candidate and the brewery was taking it as an artificial pole. So what then does it mean that the Obama Ale is winning 6170 to 1729? It either means the Obama Ale is a lot better, or the ale buying public have spoken their desire to see Obama as their next president.

The answer is not about the beer, and that’s not a political statement. Both brews are exactly the same. Not living in California has made me unable to sample the brews myself, but the brewery isn’t hiding the fact that the beer is not the issue. Undeniable considering the fact that the beer is apparently bad. All online reviews have the beer being boring, nearly tasteless and altogether unimpressive. So what could be the reason that the Obama ale is trouncing the McCain ale? Most likely the fact that California hasn’t voted republican in 20 years, and that was only because of the confusion left over from the Reagan era.

Senator Barack Obama, D – IL, Democratic Party Candidate

With Senator McCain’s beer credentials being more Wal-Mart than Mom N Pop store, how do the beer credentials of Senator Obama hold up? Obama has claimed that he prefers beer over wine in the past, and has also been known to sip a beer with the locals of Pennsylvania (In March while locked in a primary battle with Hilary Clinton, Obama remarked “You know I got a beer down there, what do they call it? A Yuengling? Trying a Pennsylvania beer, that’s what I’m talking about. Is it expensive, though? … Wanna make sure it’s not some designer beer or something.” This, sadly for the democratic senator, sounded pretty disingenuous. Though, it’s possible that Yeungling, the very good, very reliable amber lager from the brewery that boasts itself as the oldest in the US, isn’t actually available in Illinois. Though, it has to count for something that in another pole taken during the election, 29% of American’s said they candidate they’d most like to share a beer with is Obama, besting both Clinton and McCain.

The Clear Winner is: Sixpoint Craft Ale’s Hop Obama

Sixpoint Craft Ales, a small innovative brewer located in Brooklyn decided to put out a beer in honor of the Senator’s campaign. According to Sixpoint “although we do not intend this beer to be a direct Sixpoint endorsement of Obama, we believe the delicious and refreshing quality it represents reminds us of the Senator’s successful grassroots campaign that positively blossoms each and every day.” It’s hard to justify a brewery tooting their own horn like that, but it ends up that they actually underestimated how good this beer is. Sixpoint combined an American Red Ale (think Killians) with a high quality West Coast India Pale Ale (think Stone IPA). Both are really good well respected styles, and Sixpoint has mashed them up, added a ton of hops and kept the alcohol content to a respectable 5.2%, resisting the urge to go overboard with this the way Avery did with Ale to the Chief. The hops Sixpoint used give it a subtle grapefruit flavor (are you listening Michelob Ultra?) that really comes through in the nose. The taste is undeniably crisp and clean, very easy to drink and very delicious, a brew that would make an awesome session beer, and goes great with food. Sixpoint put out a fantastic beer that, even if it’s namesake loses the election this year, we have to sincerely hope they find a way to keep this in production, whether it requires a name change or not.

So, we’ve determined that Obama has a great beer named after him, but his lack of craft beer knowledge coupled with Senator McCain’s wife may make the GOP candidate the more knowledgeable beer buff. In this case the win is going to have to go to Senator Obama for no reason other than the fact that if he wins, there is a chance that Hop Obama will stick around, something tells me that whether McCain wins or loses, Budweiser will still be available at Arizona State.

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Choosing the right coat to compliment an outfit is crucial in remaining stylish.  You could be wearing the classiest most expensive shirt and pants, but if your jacket is beat up and ragged, or too big or too small, you’ll look about as stylish as Jerry Seinfeld.

10 Classic Options for Outwear

Toggle Coat

A staple for college kids.  These mid weight wool coats with wooden buttons are perfect for the fall weather.  This should be worn for a casual night out.  See more

Parka

These are great for ski weekends, trips to Canada, or just to keep warm on a stroll around Manhattan at Christmas time. See more

Down Jacket

Certain guys can pull these jackets off.  They sort of make you look fat, but they will keep you damn warm in the winter. See more

Trench Coat

This is the perfect jacket for hiding your shot gun, or flashing women in Walmart parking lots. A little more casual than the Chesterfield or Camel-hair coat.  See more

Peacoat

A classic blue, gray, or black peacoat will go with just about anything. If you’re in the business world, and could only own two coats, I would make this one of them.  See more

Denim Jacket

A denim jacket is good to keep handy in case you score last minute tickets to a Def Leopard concert.  Seriously though, denim jackets have reached icon status and can be worn with most outfits.  See more

Barbour Jacket

This is a pretty cool jacket that will keep you warm, and it functions a little dressier than a parka.  This gives you sort of that rugged professional look.  See more

Chesterfield Coat

For professional use only. This is a slim cut overcoat that will keep you warm, but isn’t so bulky you can’t move around int it.

Macintosh

This is the coat you where out when its drizzling yet warm.  A good coat to own if you spend a lot of time walking through the city in the fall and winter.

Camel-Hair Coat

This is a pretty versatile jacket made for the professional world.  It can also be warm semi casually to an after work happy hour, or a networking event. See more

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My road trip to Pittsburgh was filled with 2 incredible football games.

On Saturday we saw Rutgers destroy Pitt and then on Sunday we saw a true slugfest between the Giants and the Steelers.

The Steelers fans were an extremely classy group….they were friendly despite my Giants clothing and frequent cheering. Clearly the same hospitality would not have been shown in Philly by the Eagles fans or in many other NFL stadiums.

If you venture out to Pittsburgh you should check out http://www.primantibrothers.com/

The good, the bad and the UGLY!!

The Giants, Titans and Patriots all have great records yet they aren’t providing massive across the board fantasy points.

Plaxico is starting to become a poster child for Coughlin’s doghouse and the Giants Rbs had a rough match-up vs. the Steelers defense.

Dallas is struggling fantasy wise with QB issues (did I hear Brooks Bollinger) and now Whitten has a broken rib. Roy Williams had a red zone TD last week but not much else. The only thing preventing T-O from blowing a gasket was the win last week. Barber still remains a solid play.

Detroit, Kansas City and Cincinnati remain teams with bad records and minimal fantasy points. Many people questioned why I left Larry Johnson off my cheat sheets but now they are starting to see why.

Mike Nolan is out…and Mike Singletary (one of the best LBs of all time) is in as interim head coach.

[See post to watch Flash video]

This clip was from the sideline at Sunday’s game. JT O’Sullivan is out at QB and Hill (on a bye) is in. Vernon Davis TE was sent to the showers before the game was over.

All 49ers except maybe Gore and Bruce will suffer if Singletary tries to tinker with Martz’s offense. I think Martz is a genius but keep in mind that his QB needs time for the receivers to run routes so I don’t know if O’Sullivan was a victim of a system which requires solid line play.

These are the weeks where you need to be actively trading frustrated owners as well as upgrading your bench via the waiver wire.

Good Luck

Phil

Fantasy Football Weapon

Copyright 2008 FFW LLC Subject to Terms and Conditions.

This week, Better Asian Man talks with a myriad of call-in guests on these topics:

1. “A woman’s perspective on getting picked up by guys” A testimonial by Omitofo (Los Angeles, CA)
2. “I got a lot of phone numbers– what do I do with them?” - C-Dub (Santa Monica, CA)
3. “If I meet two girls (who know each other), and I get both of their numbers, which one do I call?” - C-Dub (Santa Monica CA)
4. “I’m having sex with a girl now, and she wants me to be in a relationship with her, but I’m not looking for that right now. What should I do?” - Teddy Bear (Los Angeles, CA)
5. ….and much more!

Also, this week, Better Asian Man introduces a brand new “relationship chat” segment. In this segment, we talk with some married folks to get their perspective on this question:

Listen to this episode.

Download this episode.

Open this podcast in iTunes.

And don’t forget to pick up William’s (aka Man Cannon’s) first collaborative audio product, PUA Radio (X-Tended) CD 1 for only $29.25!

I just found this fairly new video on day game.  Being that I have absolutely no skill in day game, I am always amazed to watch guys cold approach women on the street.

Day game really is a an art of itself, as most of the principles that apply to bar/club game don’t really work when you have 30 seconds to make your pitch.

[See post to watch Flash video]

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Ladies and gentlemen, this week is one of the best weeks in sports of the entire year. If you’re a sports junkie like me, you know exactly what I’m talking about. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you’re either totally gay and shouldn’t be browsing a men’s website, or you’re living under a rock and need to check the expiration date on your man card.

What the hell am I talking about? I’m talking about the one week of the year where EVERY MAJOR SPORT is playing: the World Series is finishing up, the NBA opened its season on Tuesday, college football is happening Thursday through Sunday, and of course NFL on Sunday and Monday. Holy cow! I better break up with my girlfriend now, because I sure as hell won’t have time to see her.

I’ll review some of the awesome games going on this week, and since I’m a betting man, I’ll also make a couple of picks and review the odds.

Thursday

Get your hoops on with the TNT Thursday night doubleheader: Game 1 is Houston vs. Dallas, Game 2 is New Orleans vs. Phoenix. I want to see how the re-tooled Suns play with a fitter Shaq, a different offense, and a new coach. Suns beat the Spurs on Wednesday on road and looked good doing it. Phoenix is favored by 1.5 at home and I like them to cover.

Guess what is else is going on Thursday night? That’s right, college pigskin. Oh, how I love thee. The football Gods have deigned to give us the Big East matchup of South Florida vs. Cincinnati, and while this isn’t the biggest matchup of the weekend, it’s still friggin’ football on a Thursday night. The spread on this one is 3, but what I really like is the over at 51. Expect that scoreboard to light up like a pinball machine. If absolutely pressed to wager on the point spread, I take the Bulls to cover.

Friday

There’s a bunch of NBA on Friday, but screw that, you know what’s even better? Pack a bottle of hooch in the car, take some plastic cups, and hit a HIGH SCHOOL football game. That’s right baby, Friday night lights!! Obviously, you can’t drink at the actual game (unless you have a flask that is), but you can certainly pound rum-and-Cokes in the car before kickoff, catch an awesome buzz, and then giggle like an idiot at the hottie cheerleaders. Sweet Jesus, did I just admit that? I think I did. I did this exact thing two weeks ago at my alma mater’s homecoming game and I won $20 on a point spread bet that a pal and I handicapped on the spot. Great fun.

Afterwards, put on your costume, hit the downtown clubs for Halloween, and hit on chicks that are legal.

Saturday

No stopping now, boys. Saturday is serious college football territory, so get pumped. I’ll highlight two of the must-see games.

Florida vs. Georgia, the annual rivalry also known as the “World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party.” Expect perfect football weather with highs in the lower 70’s. Grill Italian sausages, stuff your pie holes, and stick to light beer because this is going to be a long day of drinking. Gators are favored by 6 and I like them to cover as Tim Tebow goes Heisman on your ass.

Texas vs. Texas Tech, #1 vs. #7 in the BCS standings, both teams are unbeaten. Tech is an offensive powerhouse and they have a walk-on kicker they found during a half-time kicking contest. Awesome. The Longhorns boast mega-stud Colt McCoy, who is connecting on 81% of his completions. This should be a crazy scoring fest of a game, made even more awesome because you’re drinking Crown-and-Cokes and screaming in football nirvana by this point. Texas Tech are 4 point dogs, I like them in an upset special, so I’ll take the points.

Warning: Do not, under any circumstances, let your girlfriends see you in a blithering, football-induced drunken stupor. You won’t get any poonani for a week.

Sunday

I’m sure you’ll be nursing an awful hangover but hey it’s time to suck it up because it’s NFL all day long.

IMO, the most compelling game is the New England vs. Indianapolis game at 8:15 pm. Patsies are 6 point dogs, which I think is a little weird because the Colts have been playing shaky, but I’ll take the points on this one. Over/under is 44 and I like the over, also.

Monday

Back to the grind after a long hard weekend of drinking and sports madness, but you get Monday Night Football when you get home and one last chance at wagering glory. This game features Washington vs. Pittsburgh, two excellent teams, with Washington favored by 2. Keep an eye on this line as I’m sure it will shift by kickoff. I actually like Washington to win at home and I’ll lay the points.

Tuesday

Guess what sport is worth betting on Tuesday? One that only comes around once every four years? That’s right, it’s the US presidential election! Betting on who wins the biggest political race in the country is a tried and true American tradition, as American as apple pie, and you can do so with your favorite online bookie. Odds are generally pretty awful if you want to bet the favorite, Barack Obama (I saw -450 tonight after his infomercial), so you may want to shop around or wait a few days to see if the odds stabilize, or toss some money at McCain if you like him to win. I plan on making a friendly cash wager with one of my overzealous Republican friends sans odds and point spread, just a straight up pick’em. Heh, sucker.

There you go, fatty up on sports and get some action going during the best sports week of the year. Don’t forget to vote and put a little something-something on the election, too!

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