PUA Blogger

A couple weeks ago I was waiting at the bus stop to go to the airport. A two businessmen were joking around on the bench. I stood nearby, practicing Japanese on my phone.

One of them gave up on the late bus after a while so I started talking to the other one. He was friendly and a good conversationalist. Fifteen minutes into the conversation he casually and without shame mentioned that he was homeless.

Man. I was way off on that one, I thought.

The bus finally came and brought us to the airport. Backpack strapped to my back I ran across the arrivals lanes, up the escalator, across the lobby, and through security. Time from bus to gate? Seven minutes.

In the middle seat next to me was a non white woman. I assumed she was poor based on her ethnicity and the way she was dressed. She pulled out an ipod. Those poor people, always buying these that they can’t afford.

An hour into the flight she opens up her year or two old apple laptop. There’s a picture of the Golden Temple of Kyoto on her desktop. It looks like it might be a snapshot.

“Hey, I don’t mean to be spying on you, but have you been to the Golden Temple?”

“Oh, no. My daughter is learning Japanese and she put it there.”

I turn my screen to her to show her that I’m learning Japanese too. For the next half hour or so we have one of the most pleasant airplane chats I’ve ever been part of. She warm and friendly. Her daughter goes to a private school and is learning Japanese in the fifth grade. Amazing.

Thats zero for two on judging people that day.

I won’t stop judging people. I don’t know if that’s possible or even a totally good thing. But I will be putting a lot less faith in my judgements – that’s for sure.

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Wow.

I’ll give it to Matt and Simeon.  In this final episode both of them showed dramatic change, and quite frankly both of them performed better than any of the previous season’s contestants.

I will agree with Mystery’s choice in making Simeon this year’s Pickup Artist.  Simeon has been in the zone the last few episodes and is more and more fun to watch each week.  Simeon is also a testament to the power of confidence and its ability to drastically improve your game.  You could just tell that Simeon had the mindset that he was truly unstoppable.  And when you have that mindset… you are unstoppable.

The other positive aspect I noticed about Simeon’s game was his ability to read the situation.  He seems to have “the Pickup Mindset” a real understanding of what is going on in the field.  His solid of demonstration in the field, and handling obstacles can be traced back to his low pressure practice.  Because he never let himself go into crisis mode… he was consistently able to read the situation and calibrate accordingly.

Matt’s game was also fun to watch.  But with Matt I never got that sensation that he had “it.”  I do think, however, that if Matt continues to study pick up he will be quite good himself.  The move he pulled in the final field test with the hot Asian girl was classic.  “I just have to kiss you.”

Tonight’s episode served to remind me the power of displaying higher value.  Once you’ve adequately established that you are a high value male… it is okay to show vulnerability, compliment a girl, or telegraph interest.  This is something that has personally screwed up many of my pickups, in the fact that I’ve hesitated letting my guard down… and ultimately lost girls who took my “telegraphed indifference” as disinterest.  I wrote a post about the necessity to calibrate your pickups a couple weeks ago.

Ah… its episodes like this that get the juices flowing.. and get me itching to be single again.

Vh1 Pickup Artist Thoughts

The last two episodes were the only episodes I enjoyed watching.  I don’t know if I’m alone, but I feel like this show might have run its course unless that make drastic changes next season.  While it is fun to watch the guys as they get more successful, I think the show loses viewers early on when there isn’t too much action.

I still believe that the show might make a good run if done in a Keys to the VIP type format. I’m just not feeling another season of lovable losers.  While I think the show would be boring if it was 8 weeks of guys with solid game consistently pulling girls, I also feel like another season of Mystery teaching opinion openers, and peacocking the guys out, will also get old.

My gut feeling says the show doesn’t come back for a third season.

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My complete indifference towards social standards is now turning me into a social outcast, or more clearly a bum.
Everything has it’s time and place, and i’m not going to talk about personal issues with people i don’t know or who will react awkwardly to it. Even if the problem is with them and not me, i should use that knowledge to my advantage. As such i will also stop alcohol once again, too much money wasted, too many wrong things said and done.
However i will keep, and reenforce my openness, but not my invasiveness. To do that i’ll just be more indifferent to people’s reactions, after having adapted my own self-controls listed above.
It’s time for change… for me too.

Britney Spears First Live Performance Since 2007 VMAs

I admit it.  I find Britney Spears sexy.  Even more now than 10 years ago.  Why?  Because she is so deliciously trashy. And because we all know that a Britney Spears sex tape is so close I can feel it.

10 years ago it would have been impossible to get within 100 feet of her.  Now it is perfectly reasonable to think if I run into her one night at The Palms in Vegas… you could be looking at the next K-Fed.

I’m not too good hang out on yachts with Britney.  I’ve done worse.  Trust me.

And you have to admit she looks a lot better than she did at the 2007 VMAs.

[See post to watch Flash video]

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Online Web Application Keeps Track of Your Sex Life

This is perfect for Paul Janka!

Bedposted.com takes the idea of cataloging daily life online to a whole new level, asking users whom they slept with, when each session started, to how they’d rate the encounter on a scale of one to five.

While this does seem just a tad creepy… I would love to have had this during a certain stretch of time in which most details of my sexual encounters blurred into one big orgie.

The only thing I don’t like about this is that off chance that your personal data gets in the wrong hands.

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Teach Your Girlfriend to Be Strong

The strongest people of this world strive to bring out the best in others and help them become the best people they can be. They want to bring everyone around them up and make them into better and stronger individuals.

When you can make your woman stronger and help her grow into a better person, when you can share your strength with her - it’s going to mean a more caring, passionate and powerful relationship.

Here’s how to make your woman stronger in a particular area:

* Have her express that she’s already strong in that area
* “Catch” her doing good things and let her know that you like that
* Reinforce it during your most intimate moments

Step 1 - Your woman can’t become anything she doesn’t see herself possibly becoming, so get her to admit that she already is good in a particular area. By getting her to express to you how she is good in a particular area will go a long way towards starting to build those positive traits within her.

“All of my friends are independent. How about you, are you independent?”

“Hmm… do you consider yourself an ambitious person?”

“I love intelligent girls who love to learn and explore new things. Learn anything cool lately?”

“I really adore girls who are kind and thoughtful. Would you consider yourself that way?”

These questions mean she’s likely to find some things about herself that fit into what you’re asking. Now, some women could never see themselves as a particular trait. If she says she could never be ambitious, then perhaps she couldn’t - at least, for now. Give her every opportunity to commit to already being what you like, as it’s crucial for long term success and growth. And if she can’t meet an important standard you have, then maybe you’ll want move on from this particular girl. There’s lots of women who are capable of being really amazing.

Once she has admitted that she already is strong, then start catching her being strong as frequently as possible. Whenever she mentions doing something to grow and make progress, let her know that you love her ambition. When she tells you about something she learned recently, mention how much you enjoy being with such a smart girl.

This is going to empower her to become even stronger. When someone that you care about expresses that you’re strong in a certain area, you actually strive to become even stronger. And it lets her know exactly what you like, and what she can do to become an even better match with you - your girl is not a mind-reader. By letting her know what you like about her, she knows what areas she can explore with you to get even closer.

“Baby I love that you are so independent and you’re always doing cool things even when I’m really busy.”

“Wow that’s ambitious - I really dig that, you’re always doing cool stuff.”

“You’re so smart. I really like that.”

“That’s really thoughtful of you - thank you, I appreciate it.”

Finally, one of the most powerful times to grow together is in the bedroom. In the bedroom, you and your woman drop your shields, and you can really make each other much stronger when you’re making love. People are at their most open when in bed together, so this is the perfect time to really share your strength with her and help her become even more powerful.

During your lovemaking, you can tell your girlfriend:

“It feels so good being with such an independent girl… we’re fully with each other when we’re together, and happy when we’re apart… and then more passionate together… it’s so good…”

“Wow, it’s so good to make love to such an ambitious girl. It turns me on like crazy.”

“Mmm, you’re so smart and pretty and wonderful. I love being with you”

“You’re so good to me baby. Being with you is so good.”

This has a real, permanent impact on her and she grows much stronger. When you get a girlfriend that’s got the base character to become amazingly powerful, you can help her reach all of her potential and become, really and truly, the woman of your dreams.

I so want you to have the girl of your dreams -

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In your corner,

Sebastian

Master the Vibe

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It seems that movies about relationship experts are all the rage lately.  I just came across this trailer for an upcoming Kathryn Heigl and Gerard Butler movie called the ugly truth.

In the movie Butler depicts a dating coach who tries to coach Kathryn Heigl into finding the perfect man.  Personally I hate Kathryn Heigl… and for that matter, I hate movies about dating coaches.

Lets take a bet and see which dating coach comes out and claims to be the inspiration for “The Ugly Truth.”  I’m going to go with Zan Perrion.

[See post to watch Flash video]

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40 year old Hugh Jackman was just named the “sexiest man alive” by People magazine.

What are the odds that a 40 year old will be named the sexiest woman alive? (Yes, 42 year old Halle Berry was named sexiest woman by Esquire magazine, but who really doubts that she was more attractive at 22?) Scarlett Johansen, at 23, is a much better pick.

This illustrates a simple concept: It is women, not men, who have a biological clock that is ticking like a time bomb. Women are fertile for a shorter period of their lives than men are.

According to nature, it is better for women to look screamingly hot (admittedly not a scientific term) for a short period of time, than to look good for a long period of time.

This leads me to the ripoff that is marriage. Men marry for sex with a young, beautiful woman, while women marry for access to a man’s resources. In the typical marriage-to-the-death scenario, the man loses out.

A 22 year old woman I know is engaged. She is very sexy, in large part just due to her age. At 22, her estrogen levels are at their peak, and estrogen is responsible for a great deal of feminine beauty, such as skin tone and hourglass shape. (For instance, menopausal women have lower levels of estrogen, and rapidly put on weight.)

As attractive as she is now, she is at her physical peak. She has a large curvy butt, which drives men (like me) crazy, but how sexy will she be at 40, when she’s put on weight on her butt and hips, and her skin is not so smooth or taut? She is on the downhill slope.

Her husband on the other hand, does not have such a short window of attractiveness. Furthermore, each year that works, his status and economic power increase.

So the man marries a woman who becomes less desirable each year, while a woman marries a man who becomes sexually more appealing as well as wealthier. Eventually a man reaches a point where he is fertile, but his wife is not. At a point in his life when he is capable of starting a new family, he is stuck in a marriage with an aging hag.

No one ever really thinks of it, but I have seen dumpy women with short hair that only accentuates their fatness and age. You would not screw one of these women at gunpoint, yet they are wearing expensive clothing and drive late model SUV’s. Now what sane guy would be these crones anything? These worn drabs are still cashing in on the fact that they were attractive, perhaps only marginally so, 20 nor 30 years ago, and some dumbass is still paying for it.

This week I had the pleasure to sit down with Freda Mooncotch from Alphawomen.com and we talked about Dating and the Confident woman. The original post over at alphawomen.com inspired quite a bit of discussion with some women strongly disagreeing. Listen for yourself as Freda ad I discuss Men and Women and how confidence plays its role in dating.

Here is Part 2 of our conversation on dating and the confident woman.