Archive for May 2009

Book Review: The E-Myth Revisited

emythcover

I just read a book that is challenging a how I see the world, like the Dip did many months ago. Like the dip, this book talked a lot about things I knew I SHOULD be doing, but didn’t really understand why. I’m a stubborn person, so understanding the "Why?" is really important for me to actually make changes.

The book is called "The E-Myth Revisited". I’d heard about it and had it recommended to me over the years, but hadn’t gotten around to reading it because the name sounded absolutely terrible. That’s my stubbornness, again.

In a nutshell, the book is about how to to organize, run, and think about your small business. Different examples in the book actually made me nervous because it was as if they were describing me personally. Problems that I’ve run into were described with psychic accuracy, and solutions were described which made me think, "oh, of course!". Needless to say, I will probably be making some big changes as a result of the book.

My notes on the book:

If you start a business, do everything in it, and cannot be removed from the business, then you haven’t created a business– you’ve created a job. Instead a business should be thought of as a series of systems which can be performed by average people.

At first glance this systemization seems like it would suck the soul out of the business, but really it’s the opposite. If you control and systemize everything, it creates a mechanism for you to leverage your decisions, vision, and values across every part of the business.

So the first goal is to work ON the business, not IN the business. In other words, even if you are performing all of the tasks at first, make sure that you are building systems and documenting them so that others can take over.

To that end, act as if the business is going to be replicated. Doing this forces you to document every process and system in detail.

Building systems based on unskilled labor increases consistency and allows employees to become apprentices and learn about your unique methods. Bringing in people who already do things their way, even if it’s good, will deviate from your vision and cost more.

Be extremely consistent and orderly. There is a lot of chaos in the world, and people gravitate to things that they can depend on. Inconsistency is frustrating. The customer experience should be consistent and emotionally appealing.

Employees must know the purpose of their work so that it can matter to them. Work done "because I said so" is poorly done. They must know the steps to take to get the results, and they must know the standards they’ll be judged by.

Four questions to ask about your business:

  1. How can I get my business to work, but without me?
  2. How can I get people to work without my interference?
  3. How can I systematize my business so that unit 5000 is the same as unit 1?
  4. How can I spend time doing what I love, not what I don’t love?

The business is NOT the final product. The business is the systems and the experience they create. How the business treats the customer is even more important than the actual product it delivers to them.

Everything that is measurable should be measured. Then everything should be tested to improve these measurements. Almost no one does this.

Remove discretion from every step. Systems should prescribe actions for any contingency.

Intermission

In the middle of the book the author starts talking about how important it is to create your life intentionally. He gives eight questions to answer to figure out what your "primary aim" is. I always avoid answering these questions for some reason or other, but this time I did them and found it to be pretty valuable. I’ll have another big post about this in a couple days

Back to the notes…

How big do you want your business to be? How much money do you want it to make? Your expectations will be wrong, but ANY goal is better than no goal (this concept is what made me take the time to answer my life questions. They’re hard, but any idea is better than no idea).

Can your business fulfill your financial goals? Will it support your goals in life? If no, then there is no point to doing it. Choose a business that WILL support these things.

What kind of business are you in? Not the actual commodity, but what is the message? What is the experience? For example, colognes are usually in the business of selling fantasy, not scented water. Watch the commercials.

When will all your systems be documented enough that you could remove yourself from the business?

What standards will you have for reporting, cleanliness, clothing, management, hiring, firing, training, etc?

When designing each position in your company, ask the following three questions:

  1. What would best serve our customer here?
  2. How could I most easily give the customer what he wants while also maximizing profits for the company?
  3. How could I give the person responsible for this job the best possible experience?

Do each job yourself first, and only hire someone else when you’ve completed a position manual for that job. That’s how you spread your standards and values across a company.

Make the rules and follow them strictly. If you make exceptions for yourself, people won’t take rules seriously and will make exceptions for themselves too.

Think of jobs as games. Games don’t have to be fun constantly, just occasionally (twice a year). Think of jigsaw puzzles, which are never really fun.

"There’s nothing more exciting than a well-conceived game."

A business should be a community which gives its employees principles and purpose.

Real needs don’t matter. Perceived needs do. Sell people things they want, not things they need.

"What must our business be in the minds of our customers in order for them to choose us over everyone else?"

Systems are created to free the time and attention of employees.

To make a sale, first get permission to talk to the customer. Then demonstrate that you are an authority, that you understand his problem, and that you are PERSONALLY willing to solve it using the resources of your company.

There is a lot more to the book, and like any book, a lot of the real value comes from immersing yourself in the author’s world for an hour or two. The sections I wrote notes on are the sections which were most valuable to me, but you might have different interests, needs, or priorities.

You can buy the book at Amazon or get the eBook.

Colombia Analysis

I’m getting a lot of questions about how Colombia is, especially the girls. I’m going to hold off until after I leave to give you the complete run-down because I want to make conclusions on the full experience, but there are a couple things I can say right now.

Argentine girls are hotter than Colombian girls, but also harder.

Brazilian girls are sexier, more interesting and probably hotter than Colombian girls, but also easier.

I saw probably because Brazil is a huge country and you get a lot of variance depending on where you go. Plus it will come down to personal taste (i.e. if you like fake tits then Colombia is for you, if you like big asses and a wider variety of color then Brazil).

It’s becoming more obvious to me every day that Brazil is the big winner. The guys who are singing the praises of Colombia the hardest have not yet been to Brazil, and that’s all you really need to know, though I am enjoying myself in Medellin right now and will remain until I finish my second book.

P.S. My book Bang is now available on Amazon.com and qualified for Super Saver shipping.

My 4 Year Blog Anniversary: "There Is Still Light"

In 2004, I started my journey on the road to holistic pick-up, turning myself not only into a pick-up artist, but also improving myself into a better, self-actualized man. It’s been a long journey and one that I’ve documented countless times here on this blog that I started at the end of May 2005 when I moved to Dallas titled, “In the Beginning… There was Light…”What started me on the path of

Colombia Analysis

I’m getting a lot of questions about how Colombia is, especially the girls. I’m going to hold off until after I leave to give you the complete run-down because I want to make conclusions on the full experience, but there are a couple things I can say right now.

Argentine girls are hotter than Colombian girls, but also harder.

Brazilian girls are sexier, more interesting and probably hotter than Colombian girls, but also easier.

I saw probably because Brazil is a huge country and you get a lot of variance depending on where you go. Plus it will come down to personal taste (i.e. if you like fake tits then Colombia is for you, if you like big asses and a wider variety of color then Brazil).

It’s becoming more obvious to me every day that Brazil is the big winner. The guys who are singing the praises of Colombia the hardest have not yet been to Brazil, and that’s all you really need to know, though I am enjoying myself in Medellin right now and will remain until I finish my second book.

P.S. My book Bang is now available on Amazon.com and qualified for Super Saver shipping.

Colombia Analysis

I’m getting a lot of questions about how Colombia is, especially the girls. I’m going to hold off until after I leave to give you the complete run-down because I want to make conclusions on the full experience, but there are a couple things I can say right now.

Argentine girls are hotter than Colombian girls, but also harder.

Brazilian girls are sexier, more interesting and probably hotter than Colombian girls, but also easier.

I saw probably because Brazil is a huge country and you get a lot of variance depending on where you go. Plus it will come down to personal taste (i.e. if you like fake tits then Colombia is for you, if you like big asses and a wider variety of color then Brazil).

It’s becoming more obvious to me every day that Brazil is the big winner. The guys who are singing the praises of Colombia the hardest have not yet been to Brazil, and that’s all you really need to know, though I am enjoying myself in Medellin right now and will remain until I finish my second book.

P.S. My book Bang is now available on Amazon.com and qualified for Super Saver shipping.

Male/Female Observations, Analysis, And Commentary

On the reader survey, a whopping 92% of readers want to see more “male/female observations, analysis, and commentary.” Now that’s a pretty broad category, including things like making fun of girls who wear flip flops, descriptions of where dating culture is headed, and what does it mean when a girl does a certain something retarded. I wanted to address those who like the “analysis” part.

Like many guys, I have an analytical mind. I don’t mind breaking things down into their component parts to understand them more fully. But just like how you don’t need to tear apart a radio in order to use it, you don’t need to understand women to fuck them. The more you understand them the harder it is to fuck them, and the reason is because they too complicated and variable.

Instead of thinking, “I want to learn more about them because I want to get good at fucking them,” try this instead: “I’m going to try a lot of different things until I find out what works to get good at fucking them.”

Do you see the difference? One is dependent on understanding them and the other in dependent on your effort. One leads to a road of mental masturbation and the other leads to a road of unprotected sex. I gauge a woman’s response to things, but I don’t make a conscious effort to determine the why of a woman’s actions of behavior. Who cares?

I said something wrong and I made the girl cry. I’m not sure why. But we ended up fucking anyway. Do I have to change anything? Nope. Everything is fine. Carry on.

I told a girl that I liked her on the first date, after she told me the same. We had rough sex that night. Did I do anything wrong? Nope. I got what I wanted. Grand.

I couldn’t care less about why a girl doesn’t like my opener or why she got offended when I said I wanted to cum on her face. But next time I will try a different opener or a different way of bringing up why I want to cum on her face. I will keep going, trying different strategies, until I have evidence from experience that something “works” or not. Besides looking at raw data from your attempts, trying to understand a woman takes you down a rabbit hole with little fruit and much dirt and mud. You may hate women after you’re through, and wonder why you put so much effort into them in the first place.

There are patterns that come up and I take note of them (mostly to share it for you guys), but that’s just for fun. You don’t need to understand women to get laid, but you do need to know what they like from a man of your personality, background, look, etc., which comes almost entirely from experience. In fact I think a girl likes it when you don’t care to understand them. You’re aloof and difficult, wrapped up in your own magical world of masculinity and pensiveness.

P.S. My book Bang is now available on Amazon.com and qualified for Super Saver shipping.

Podcast: Interview with "Free Food For Millionaires" author Min Jin Lee

Podcast Episode For 5/17/09: (complete episode) : F - Fun or Fake?Chapter 1: Dating Advice:F - Fun or Fake? Why is it important to be consistent? (download this chapter)Chapter 2: Q & A - Better Asian Man fields all of your questions about how to meet ladies — LIVE! (download this chapter) What do I have to adjust in the ABCs of Attraction structure when meeting girls during the day? -

Rip Off Report For Real Social Dynamics… Again!

Not ANOTHER complaint:

i had attended real social dynamics live program a few weeks ago. the program was definitly not expected and what they said it would be. After the first day i asked for a refund and to stop the program but they told me i had to finish it to get the refund. i finished out the three days i stuck it out. I inquired afterwards about getting a refund, they gave me some bs reason why i could not get it. Im thinking about taking legal action to get my money back.

Jjohnson1982
west babylon, New York
U.S.A.

Legit? If JJohnson1982 would like to email me directly (attractionchronicles(at)gmail.com) for clarification on the Real Social Dynamics bootcamp and refusal of refund, that would be appreciated. As always Real Social Dynamics can contact me with a rebuttal and I’ll gladly post it (even if it’s reluctantly…).

Although there are many cases in which the PUA company has a legitimate reason not to refund, but typically if it’s requested on the first day of the boot-camp, then its a valid claim. No asking for refunds on the final night or 2 weeks later. This reminds me of the comparison between the Love Systems and the Real Social Dynamics bootcamps one the other month.

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my $6.95 Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.

Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

Carlos Xuma on Relationships

QUESTION FROM A READER…

I think Carlos is a great guy and he really knows what he is talking about. I’ve read … his books, and the material has really helped. However, none of these dating gurus ever discuss the concept of “love” or what to do once you are actually in a relationship. It would help a lot if they would expand their material into this realm…especially someone like Carlos, who is one of the best out there.
______________________
CARLOS XUMA RESPONDS:

Why thank you, my good man. Always nice to know that you appreciate my material.

One of the reasons I’ve never delved into relationships is primarily because there are SO many books out there on the subject. I mean, it’s almost unreal. But there were never any books on exactly what to do to get things started.

After all, if you didn’t learn this stuff from your dad, you usually wound up learning from your clueless friends.

But in recent months I’ve noticed that a lot of guys are asking for this kind of information.

So I’ve taken the first step in doing what you mention - tackling relationships.

What I’m doing is discussing the kind of Alpha Man you need to be to make a relationship work long-term. How you keep being the confident man after you’ve hooked her - so you don’t lose her!

If you guys like this material, who knows? I might actually get around to a more in-depth discussion of how to manage things with a woman you’re staying with for the long term.

Stay tuned…


New 24 Hour Bootcamp Offered

x24game

Have you wanted to take a bootcamp but can’t justify so much time off? Or would rather be in the field rather than a seminar room. Well, Dr. Paul announced an interesting concept to his email list recently. Dr. Paul calls it x24game, and it follows the same format as bootcamp styled extreme sport camps. Here’s the info:

I want you to know I am willing to “experiment” with a whole new way of running a social skills “bootcamp.” … which has been supersecret up to now, but will be available to you for the first time, even sooner – one full day in Chicago, June 6th, Saturday.

I call it X24 Game, and you will soon be able to see the basic info on it at X24game.com.

I have taken the best principles of the Omega Male Program and cultivated the “best practices” out of it all, for an exclusive and grueling LIVE TRAINING – a TRUE “bootcamp.”

I have also determined that given enough background reading on a subject, men generally “get it” as far as how to be successful with women, but when it comes to actually taking reliable, regular ACTION, there can be a chasm between failure and success.

As a result, I took a lesson from my home state’s greatest contests – the “24 Hours of Aspen” team skiing contest, and the “24 Hours of Moab” team mountain biking contest, and imported them into the concept of severe amplification of your “game” or your attractiveness to women.

I also am a big fan of “hot yoga” – a very challenging fitness regimen which also gets you in a mode of measuring yoru progress through repeating just 26 yoga poses each and every time to take a class. In fact, the moves are “patented,” which is what I am doing here…

What I ended up with is “X24 Game.”

You see, learning for men is a team effort. We are evolved to need time alone to solve problems and “plot” our world domination as men, but when it comes time to take action to better our lives, we cannot do without other men on the same mission.

These sports contests in Colorado are among the most enticing, grueling, and fun experiences a man can have on a team, and it was a no-brainer to discover that this model can be imported to jumpstart your social skills too.

We will be meeting in Chicago, June 6th at a very early 7am, and will engage in TWENTY FOUR HOURS of street-learning, street-lectures, and street-practice (as well as in restaurants and clubs) at the art and science of effectiveness with women and dating.

My team and I will give you ONE CRUCIAL LESSON PER HOUR for a 24-hour period – 24 lessons in all, which result in the most important core components of not only dating and attraction, but masculine power itself.

In surgery training the rule was “see one, do one, teach one,” and in a team effort, there will be a great deal of cross-learning among students. You will learn the basics right there in the environments you need to perform at peak level within, but then immediately get a chance to take your learning into action – no 8 hour wait to go out on the town.

You already WILL be.

Rather than dividing it up into different trainings on “Day Game” and “Bars and Clubs” or “Night Game,” I am making this experience as realistic as your real life. There’s no division between the two. You live a life that has certain elements present in you (and in women) whether you are in a coffee shop, the library, or a nightclub.

This program is not for the faint of heart, or those who must get a perfect “beauty sleep” every night.

It’s for the “robust,” and the thrill-seeker, the guy who does have some good training under his belt, some good experiences with women, but simply wants to take things to a much higher level…

…and in a very unique way which – surprise – “mimicks” the ancient tradition of “rites of passage,” “initiation into manhood,” and puts your skill to the immediate test.

If you are a guy who has ever had some anxiety about women, and are so frustrated and fed up with your own fears and anxiety that you would do nearly anything to kiss them goodbye forever, this is the level of challenge which will do just that.

It’s in “beta-testing,” and so the price will be bargain-basement (for now.)

So it’s time to act.

With the first “beta-test” on June 6th, spots will be filling up fast. So get onto Dr. Paul’s x24Game notification list, visit x24game.com for early bird discounts and announcements.

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my $6.95 Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.

Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise