Carlos Xuma answers: What really attracts women?

Men being MEN.

REAL Alpha Masculine Men.

And I’m not talking about the dated, 1950’s version of men where we must be stoic and aloof and removed. What the “Alpha Man” (my term) is – as opposed to the ‘alpha male’ – a scientific term – is this:

1) The Alpha Man is confident in his own skin and demonstrates his inner masculine power…

This flies in the face of most of the feminist stuff you’ve heard over the years – or maybe you’ve misinterpreted from the skewed images in magazines and movies, and bad television sit-coms.

Let’s face it, men are portrayed as either buffoons who need a woman to save him from his own crude, belching dumbness, or men are shown as killing machines with a bloodthirsty violent character.

As it happens, neither is what most men are.

And right now, we’re just confused. THAT is what I help men cut through and clarify: Their own Alpha Masculine Identity.

2) The Alpha Man is modern and ’sensing…’

Note that I did not say “sensitive.” Women have often said that they want a man that is sensitive, but what they really mean is sensitive TO HER. This is a man that is modern and in-touch with his own emotions, and he does not let those emotions RULE him.

He owns himself, and commands respect by his self-control.

And by “modern,” I mean that he is a Renaissance man – educated and worldly. A man who no longer fears the risk of living his life with passion.

3) The Alpha Man is successful with women – and in every area of his life…

Ultimately, every man will measure himself by his own success with women – it’s only natural. But when it’s a pursuit of women to fill the hole inside himself, and it becomes an obsession, then there needs to be a course correction.

Women are most attracted to the men that are on the path to pursuing their own ambitions and goals – not women for the sake of relieving his own insecurities.

These are just a few of the areas I cover in teaching men how to attract and date beautiful QUALITY women. Guys don’t need the drama and games – we just want the power to attract the women we desire.

And the way to do that is to be the Alpha Man.

Learn how to attract women by clicking here…

This last week I was interviewed on the SeductionList.com podcast we where I shared my advice on pickup, dating, and conversation skills.

Here are some of the subjects we covered in the interview:

• How to speed up your learning process through coaching and accountability
• How to build a cycle of success that will get you quicker results
• How to have engaging conversations
• What to do when a conversation stalls
• How to build rock-solid confidence
• Killer advice for beginners and guys just getting into the game
• Fashion tips for looking your best and standing out from the crowd
• Why looks don’t matter in pickup

…And more!

You can Download the Full Interview there.

Read more: http://www.seductionlist.com/charming-geek-interview/

Win Back Ex Girlfriend

The truth is that guys tend to fall into one of two ways of thinking when it comes to relationships:

1. How to get the girl
2. How to win back ex girlfriends they’ve lost.

Somewhere in between, we forget the rest…

But the trick to never having to win back your ex girlfriend is pretty simple, really…

Go read the article by clicking here:

How to NEVER Have to Win Back Ex Girlfriend s

Got back from Portugal a couple days ago… just headed down to Ocean City for a bachelor party.  It’s a hard knock life… but someone has to live it.

If you haven’t entered our PUA Summit Contest… Enter now.  You’re chances of Winning a prize are huge.  I promise!

Best Weekend Reading

It’s always good to hear what a girl would like us to remember during sex.  I definitely need to step up my dirty talk.

You might also want to know the 13 things men don’t understand about women’s bodies.

If you’re currently dating a woman you need to look out for these six signs she is losing interest. If you catch them in time you can probably salvage the relationship… but the key is too NOT begin showing more interest to win her back…

And if you sense you’re girl is leaving… don’t attempt any of these 6 relationship ending behaviors outlined by David Wygant.

If you’re do don’t have a big dick… don’t fret.  Here are 13 great things about having a small penis.

Its always good to double check and read these 10 signs you may be a douche.  If you’re not careful one day you may find yourself smack on the front page of Hot Chicks With Douchebags.

Captain Jack gives a good example of text to keep in touch with a girl that might be slipping away.

Browse through some of our pickup artist interviews over at Great Seducer.

Hottest Women of the Week

Gunaxin asks is Aisharya Rai the most beautiful woman in the world?  He’s got a good argument.

Why look forward to college football?  These hot college cheerleaders remind us why Saturday afternoons are so fun.

Some pics of sexy Olympian Leryn Franco showing us how to wear a bikini.

No matter how hot Minka Kelly is… I see no reason why Derek Jeter should ever get married.

I vote for Natasha Wicks as the hottest UFC ring girl.  She is so unbelievably adorable.

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You’d think with an award title like this we’d be having a large three-hour long, black-tie-definitely-not-optional ceremony, eventually handing off the trophy to someone like, say, a Belladonna or, if you want to go back a few years, an Alisha Klass. (You can look up both names if you want to, but you probably shouldn’t do it at work.) Instead, this award is for females who act like assholes, not use them. And for that, there’s not much competition compared to these two lady Cardinals fans:

Earlier this month, the two of them were taking in a Cardinals game at Busch Stadium and got a little too inebriated when an usher came up to them to discuss their clear drunkenness. The females responded as any drunken fan is wont to do: By pushing the usher down. Oh yeah, and I should probably mention: The usher was in a wheelchair. And they pushed him out of it.

Here’s the official story, via Sports by Brooks:

Bridget Matarazzi, 25, of the 6500 block of Bradley Avenue, was charged with third-degree assault for allegedly trying to push the usher from his wheelchair when he approached her at a game on Saturday evening to talk to her about her drunkenness, police said.

Hilariously, there’s also this aside:

She had taught social studies and language arts to students in the sixth, seventh and eighth grades for the St. Margaret of Scotland Catholic school, a statement from the Archdiocese of St. Louis said.

Catholic school teachers, gentlemen. Ain’t nothing like ‘em.

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A couple of weeks ago I had a long talk with Scot McKay, creator of The Master Plan about a variety of topics in regards to successfully carrying a conversation with a woman.

One of the questions that Scot asked me was “Does using openers or pickup lines actually work?  And what does it take to use them successfully?”

That question alone got Scot and I talking for a good half hour, each of us recounting times that an “opener” worked really well for us.  We then would try to break down and analyze what is necessary to have success picking up women with “openers.”

First off, let me say that ANYTHING can be considered an opening line to initiate a conversation with a woman.  But what I am more specifically talking about is using openers that are a little more “canned” or calculated then simply saying “Hey” or “Hi, I’m Bobby…”

So, what are some times openers worked?

Examples of “Openers” and why they worked

Let me state the obvious first.

Anytime you walk up to a woman to begin a conversation with her there are several things that are WAY more important than the words that come out of your mouth.

1. Your body language
2. Your posture/grooming
3. Your sense of style
4. The amount of confidence that you are projecting
5. Your voice tonality

These five things will set off “signals” in the woman’s mind as to where you stand on the social hierarchy.

The more you work on and improve these five things… the less important your “opener” becomes.

But let’s take a look at some examples from my life that I can try to dissect for you.

The Bachelor Party Opener

I was out at a local bar with my friend Don.  We were gulping down expensive scotch and just genuinely enjoying our night out.

We were in the process of planning a bachelor party for one of our close friends so our conversation became focused around ideas for the bachelor party.  Our conversation was a complete joke, as nothing out of our mouth was serious… we were simply having a good time making each other laugh.

Recounting an experience with a completely incriminating “hickey” back in college, we then began to wonder if a woman would be likely to call off a wedding if the groom came home from his bachelor party with a “hickey’”

After laughing a bit about my college episode with hickeys I naturally turned and walked over to a group of women sitting about eight feet away and blurted out to the table “If you fiancé came home from his bachelor party with a “hickey” would you call off the wedding?”

The first thing the girl says to me:

“I knew you guys must have been talking about something good…you guys were so engrossed in your conversation we were actually all sitting here trying to guess what the two of you were talking about…”

We then chatted with the girls for a few minutes about bachelor parties, and then quickly bounced to another bar with them.

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Printers have come a long way since the annoying squeals of the dot matrix. Now printers can print in full(!) colors(!), can print on various sizes of paper – you don’t ever have to rip off those annoying strips on the side anymore! – and, as seen in the ad below, can dance like the devil.

The spot comes from two young tykes Matt and Tom for, I believe, some kind of student or amateur contest or something. It doesn’t really matter, seeing as it’s as good as any ad that’s made by an actual ad agency. To achieve the effect, the two … well, it’s pretty obvious what they did: Get a bunch of paper, stock up on ink cartridges, find the right techno beat, and plan it out like crazy.

In any case, sit back and enjoy:

When my printer finally dies – and it’s been sputtering on for the past few years – most likely I’ll be purchasing one of these to have my own printer disco rave. Ladies will be allowed to see it without having to pay a cover.

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This post goes out to a special group of college students. This is for the collegiate kids who deal with more shit than your grandfather’s Depends. For the class who, year after year, keep getting pissed on (voluntarily). Yup, that’s right freshmen – this one goes out to YOU!

Whoa! that obnoxious Paperclip from Word just pointed out a typo in the above paragraph. First year students aren’t “freshmen”…you little fuckers are fresh FISH! And no, I’m not referring to quirky singing fish like in Disney’s Little Mermaid. Instead, you’re more like the “fish” incarcerated in maximum-security prisons. (Oz fans and convicts know what I’m talkin’ about!) Very similar to life in the slammer there’s a limit on the number of rights you have. And that limit is set at zero.

Beware fish: the first few weeks of college are a monster reality check. You are going to be so :’-( when you when find out that movies like Slackers, Animal House and Van Wilder are not real. Get this! College is NOT in an around the clock bender extravaganza. Sadly, getting laid is not a bihourly occurrence. And the jocks don’t really ostracize the geeks. Well, okay, geeks DO get strung up by their undies and shoved into lockers. But all that other stuff, it doesn’t actually happen.

Unfortunately, a lot of the “necessary” provisions you thought you’d rely on so heavily will find no use at all. An example for the guys would be condoms. An example for the girls would be underwear. Even the posters you thought were going to be cool, aren’t. You’re going to be relying more on the IUPAC periodic table of the elements than your faggy “Table of Mixology” poster. But before you curse the day that the atomic weight of Beryllium superseded the ingredients to a “Blushin’ Russian,” hear me out, fish.

There is a certain “provision” you can make to have your bad luck vanish like passed out babes in the presence of sketchy frat guys. The secret to your survival as a first year fish is to become an upperclassman’s lackey. Bad news is “lackey” is just a euphemism for “bitch.” Good news is you’ll start fitting in like Jessica Simpson at a chubby convention.

Some fish will have it easier than others. When it comes to being a lackey, there is some favoritism involved. For instance, back in my day, I discovered a Korean exchange student whom I dubbed “Short Round”  and taught hilarious one-liners like, “No time for love Dr. Jones!” to deter me when I was considering slummin’ it with a lady blob in an inebriated state.

As for the ladies, I’m not totally sure what being a female lackey might entail. I’d assume the lady upperclassman would refer to her girl-lackey a lot as “little bitch” or “skanky slut” and tell the girl-lackey to do really degrading things like make out with hideously ugly guys. But I guess that isn’t much different from what freshmen girls do anyway…

In conclusion, consider being someone’s lackey. True, it probably won’t be worth the price of your dignity. And true, it might ruin your life. But think about this: if you don’t, who’s going to be that idiot streaking through the cafeteria in nothing but a conical Madonna bra?

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Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last few months – or, at least, somewhere without free wi-fi – you’ve noticed that ESPN sideline reporter Erin Andrews has been making quite a bit of her own news lately. After that whole peephole video scandal thing – you can Google the specifics of that on your own – there was an insane amount of reaction by sports bloggers, credible journalists, and every person in the world with an outlet for their opinion. This exposure sent her straight to the top of every kind of Internet ranking system there is out there.

And hot on the trail of that fame explosion, GQ has a mini-interview – which, not-so-surprisingly, makes no mention of the scandal – that includes a few somewhat racy photos of America’s Princess. And since she’s very, very attractive, we thought it our duty to bring you a few of the shots:

For more photos, head over to the GQ article itself and give it the once-over.

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For over nearly 20 years David Wygant has been earning the trust of American men and women looking to transform their love lives. Today, no dating coach on earth commands more respect from the media, from other experts, and from real-life individuals.

David is just one the many speakers who will be speaking at next months PUA Summit.

PUA Summit Answer To Promo Questions – Part 1

Question 1: What Opener Has Worked Best For You And Why?

As you all know, I am 100% different than anyone else out there.  I don’t believe in canned routines or pre-planned openers, because women are all about serendipitous moments.  Everyone can create an unbelievably powerful opener based on what’s going on around them.

The key to attracting a woman is to be aware of what she’s doing in that moment.  So every time I see a woman, I run the scenario happening around me through my head to be successful in opening her (because the key to successfully opening a woman is to make it casual, fun and non-threatening).

A good opener is based on her not feeling like she’s being opened.  It needs to feel like a twist of fate to her: You’re in a coffee shop, she’s there and you meet.  It’s how women are wired.

So how do you open a woman anyplace and anytime?  First, observe what she’s doing or feeling.  This is really simple.  Ask yourself this question: What does her facial expression convey right now?  Is she happy?  Sad?  Frustrated?

Also, observe what she physically is doing at that moment.  Is she ordering a sandwich?  Is she sampling coffee?  Smelling blueberries?   Once you process this information, what is the first thing that comes to your mind?

You’ll need to train yourself to do this.  The best way to do that is to take a week and write down everything you feel when you watch people, so that you are able to quickly react to any situation.

The other thing to do is to be sure to have a powerful voice tone when you talk to a woman.  Once you know what you’re going to say, walk over like you’ve said what you’re about to say 1000 times before.  The more casual you are in your approach, the better her response will be to you because what you say will be coming from what’s already in her head.  It gets you off to an easy start into a conversation.

This is how I craft openers all the time . . . and they work every time.

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