PUA Blogger

Okay, here’s the deal…

I got in an argument the other day with another guru out there (who will remain nameless - at least for now!)

We were talking trash about which guys out there are going to get ahead in the next year and have the best stories about their getting good with women.

I said, of course, that YOU were.

He said, of course, that his guys were.

We got to giving each other a hard time, and we even got into a little name calling. (If you’re reading this, sorry about the “sissy punk” comment, dude. But not really.

Now, I’m calling him out on this one - because you know I’m the king of keeping it REAL, right?

STAY WITH ME… The story gets more juicy…

And then I talked with my buddy Dave M. over at Insider Internet Dating.

Well I’ve got some “insider” information from him that no one else knows about…

It sounds like Dave is about to yank his program off the market in the next couple days. It could be as early as TOMORROW.

Now, I want to win my bet with my buddy, so I’m going to make you a Godfather offer.

Something you can’t refuse!

For ANY of you guys that get Dave’s program in the next 24-48 hours, I’m going to send you something VERY cool for VERY free.

I’m going to send you a copy of my original manual on seduction: The Seduction Method - the full 300 page book and the extras…

at N0 charge.

You read that right. I’m giving you a $47 set of books - and I don’t want ANY of your money. Just go take Dave up on his offer to test drive his newest Internet dating program.

Why am I doing this?

Because I know for a FACT that Internet dating is - hands down - one of the best way to meet good quality women. I dated dozens of women from Match.com, and had lots of “brief romances” from just working the same system. (And these were really attractive women.)

And I know that if you work what Dave is giving you in his program, you WILL get more success in 2009.

POSITIVELY!

So my offer stands. Try his program, and then email me with your order info. I’ll verify it and then send you your download link for the Seduction Method…

And even if you RETURN his program (which you’d be cRaZy to do), you can still keep my book…!

Fair enough?

CLICK HERE… right now…

Your friend,

Carlos Xuma

PS: If you’ve already ordered Dave’s program from the link I sent out to you in the last week or so, you can also have a copy of the Seduction Method. Just email me with your order information.

Go get your copy:

CLICK HERE… right now…

Have you been getting a lot of “scare” mail lately?

You know, a bunch of guys telling you that you’re going to wind up

alone and crying on New Year’s Eve if you don’t get moving?

Well, don’t let yourself be frightened. The fact is that if you

don’t have a date on New Year’s, you’ll survive.

But you know what?

Being alone sucks.

I know first-hand on this one.

I usually don’t talk a lot about this, but I spent a period of over

a year where I didn’t date much or really go out a heck of a lot.

I was in an intense state of getting my life together, and I got

really focused on my inner game and self-improvement. I put the

rest of my life on the back burner.

But I’ll have to admit that being without a girlfriend for that

long was not part of the plan. I got pretty miserable during that

time, too.

It was at that low point that I made a realization that really

changed my life. It was this:

The inner game of confidence and self-esteem is not just a

self-help project you do in isolation, reading books and listening

to tapes.

** You MUST improve your inner game through actual EXPERIENCE. **

And I’m not talking about any of that “trial by fire” stuff, where

you have to go out and force yourself to talk to 100 women in one

hour so you can get over your approach anxiety.

(That method does NOT work, by the way… and I’ll tell you more

about why in an upcoming newsletter…)

What I mean by “experience is that you have to implement certain

“success habits” in your every day life to get your inner game on

track.

It’s very often as simple as knowing that if you go out and start

doing something and keep repeating it, in the right way, you’ll

create a habit that will stick.

______________________

So how did we get here?

_____________________

Ever notice how everybody makes the same tired joke at the end of

December? When we won’t see someone until after January 1st, we say:

“See you next year!”

And we laugh politely… Hardy har har…

Well, this lame joke actually illustrates something very important.

We signify a BIG change happening in just ONE moment of time.

On December 31st, at 11:59 PM, we all watch the New Year

celebration. And just as the clock ticks over from 11:59 and 59

seconds to 12:00 AM, we have a whole new year.

The odometer of our life ticks over one year in just one second.

Here’s something interesting to ponder:

The very second that it turns over into the new year, that same

“new year” is already starting to end.

And the new year is getting shorter every minute of every

day until the NEXT December 31st.

In other words, we don’t notice the end of something until the

change is really made obvious.

More on this in a second…

New Years has come to symbolize a lot, if you think about it:

1) Excitement and hope for a new year of opportunity

2) A chance to sweep under the carpet a bunch of our mistakes…

3) A reason to drink and party…

4) A chance to make some promises to make things different THIS year.

Funny thing, though.

We usually forget or lose our enthusiasm for those “resolutions”

about 3 weeks into the year.

I’ve got a good friend who’s in the personal training biz

at a major fitness facility. He says that most people have

given up on their new exercise habit somewhere around the

end of February.

(A lot give up WAY sooner than that…)

They don’t even make it 2 months into the year before they give up

on their ‘resolution’…

Back to my point about change…

A famous CEO was once asked how his company went bankrupt. He said,

“Two ways: Slowly, and then all at once.”

He illustrates a very important point.

Chances are, a lot of the things you see as “urgent” in your life

right now did not become that way overnight. More than likely, it

was happening underneath your conscious level of awareness for

quite a while.

In fact, this is how most of our “bad” habits start. A little at a

time, until one day you wake up and realize:

- I’m fat!

- I’m getting old!

- I’m out of shape!

- I’m an alcoholic!

- I gotta quit smoking!

- I’m bankrupt!

The worst habit - the one that most guys usually never see because

they let their egos create a blind spot - is when their confidence

has slid to disastrously low levels.

Or, as my friend once put it, “My inner game just sucks!”

And we know that our confidence rides the waves of a woman’s interest in us.

The number one confidence booster (and doubt-destroyer) in your

life is this:

ACTION.

When you are DOING something towards the goal of fixing your bad

habits, or getting yourself in shape, or actually out there

socializing, your brain can shut off the evil chatter and let you

get down to business.

Again, there are a bunch of guys telling you that you’re going to

wind up alone and crying on New Year’s Eve if you don’t hurry up…

Well, you will survive without a date.

But does that mean you should accept that?

Should you let 2009 be another period of time where you let this

part of your life continue to go on like this?

Or do you simply want to get out there and get:

- More dates with women…

- More women to date…

- More QUALITY women in your life…

- More results across the board…?

I don’t want you to have to come to that horrifying realization

that your game sucks WAY down the road.

In “Wall Street,” the classic movie with Michael Douglas and

Charlie Sheen, Gordon Gecko says: “Greed is good.”

Well, he’s not quite right.

It’s not greed.

It’s healthy AMBITION.

The drive and desire to carve out a place for yourself in this

world that makes you a powerful Alpha Man.

The drive to improve yourself beyond your peers to new levels of

achievement.

The drive to make your life something that you can really be proud

of, and something that a woman will BEG to become a part of.

The drive to jack your inner game up through the roof - and beyond.

If you’re ready to stop settling for second place in life, it’s

time to reserve your spot in the Alpha League.

There’s plenty of guys just giving out “dating advice” out there.

What sets me apart is that I show you how to make your WHOLE LIFE

into what you want it to be - with women, with your friends, with

your career, with your family… ALL OF IT.

One of the questions I get all the time is:

Why do women run from nice guys, and very often wind up in the arms

of men they complain about all the time? The “jerks”?

I struggled for years with this, thinking that these guys were the

ones messing up my game and hurting all those women, so that’s all I

ended up with - damaged goods.

I finally put it all together into something that every guy out

there can relate to, though, and I want to share it with you right

now.

CLICK HERE: Learn The Secrets to Attract Women - Naturally…

Here’s to a fantastic “new” year, with YOU at the controls of your

life, steering your present into a powerful and confident future…

Your Friend,

Carlos Xuma

PS: Stay tuned, there are more videos and special reports coming

soon…

CLICK HERE: Learn The Secrets to Attract Women - Naturally…

Here’s an interesting article I found that sheds some new “social research” light on why men take risks.

Not terribly new, if you ask me, but it is interesting that there is consistent information like this out there, and we all still rationalize our behavior for other reasons.

If there’s one thing to remember, it’s this: You don’t do things for the reasons you think you do…

_______________________

Men make up four-fifths of the world’s skydivers and two-thirds of all rock climbers, and a new study suggests they do it for more than just the thrill.

Men may flirt with risk because they think it will help them score women

Evolutionary psychologists have long believed that women are choosier about men than men are about women. It’s not (just) because girls want to make life difficult for guys; it’s because, at least historically, women have had to pick men who could provide for them and their children. This pressure forces males to work harder to prove their worth to females and out-compete other guys in the running. Social psychologists at Florida State University wondered: could risk-taking be one of the ways in which men show off their strength, ambition and confidence to potential lovers?

To find out, they asked 134 undergraduate male and female psychology students to participate in an experiment. They wanted to see whether men would take more risks if they were “in the mood” and if the men thought there were beautiful women around for them to woo.

The researchers showed students pictures of either 10 attractive or 10 unattractive faces of the opposite sex. Then they asked the subjects how sexually motivated they felt — that is, how interested they were in finding new sexual partners. One-by-one, each of the students then played a succession of 11 rigged blackjack hands; since the researchers knew what cards the participants had, and all were given the same cards, the scientists could compare how the subjects played each hand. (Asking for a “hit” indicated a risky move, since the player risked going over 21, while “staying” was considered safe.)

Finally, after the game, the researchers tested the students’ memories for the faces they had seen before the game.

The men were much more likely to take blackjack risks if they were sexually motivated and had seen images of beautiful women before they played. The guys were also more likely to take risks if they saw attractive female faces and remembered them afterwards — even if they weren’t looking for a new partner — perhaps because the faces made more of an impression on them and ramped up their sexual desire. The behavior of the female students, however, wasn’t affected by what they felt, saw, or remembered.

“The bottom line is that risk-taking can be a tool that men use to show potential mates that they have desirable qualities such as confidence or ambition,” said study co-author Michael Baker, a doctoral student in social psychology at Florida State.

Interestingly, the study found that guys who saw attractive faces but weren’t sexually motivated did not take more risks than guys who saw unattractive faces. Baker speculates that guys only take risks if they stand to benefit from them, because risk-taking does come with a cost — after all, a bad skydiving or rock climbing experience could keep a guy from reproducing ever again.

“If men are not motivated to pursue a mate or there are no potential mates present, then the potential benefits of a risky display are less likely to outweigh the potential costs,” Baker told LiveScience.

In other words, if a guy doesn’t really want a new relationship, then his safest bet may be just to stay home and watch football.

QUESTION ABOUT “DIFFICULT WOMEN”:

What should I do now? You know I’ve been ‘cocky and funny’ with girls, but some of them imitate this trait and after awhile you both are in challenge!

I dont know what to do with these tough girls. How can I overcome and take her to bed. It seems to be a challenge going nowhere.

Regards

F.P., Montclaire
______________________
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:

Have you ever had this happen to YOU?

You’ve been reading your daily dose of dating advice on the Internet that tells you to be “cocky” and “funny” with a woman, and then you go out and USE that clever line on a woman… and something unexpected happens.

For example, she asks you “So what do you do for a living?”

And you say, “I’m an ass model for Calvin Klein underwear… But don’t let me see you checking out my butt - off limits, honey…”

And instead of the hysterical laughter you thought you’d get, she gives you a “huh?” expression, like she’s thinking, “Oh, is that so?”

And then she says, “Well, ass model, I guess you’re not finding a lot of work with that, huh? That’s okay, you can get cheaper drinks around the corner at the dive bar.”

And then you feel humbled, but you stick in the game with her…

“Yeah, well… uh, haha… Yeah, ever since I got my butt implants taken out, I’ve had to settle for being Brad Pitt’s ass stand in. You probably saw me in ‘Legends of the Butt.’”

She says, “You sure that wasn’t Anthony Hopkins’ butt? Probably closer to it…”

Then you start feeling a bit warm under the collar, and you wonder if your face is starting to turn red. Did someone just turn up the heat in here?

Yeah.

SHE did.

You know why she’s challenging you and being cocky and funny right back like this?

Let me tell you…

(Oh, and this is something that maybe one guy in a HUNDRED even knows.)

Look, I’ll be the first guy to tell you that I’ve used that ‘cocky & funny’ routine a hundred times with women. Sometimes it works like a champ, and it’s a SWEET technique to use.

But it’s ultimately just another smoke screen that women see as “oh, no… here’s another one of those pickup guys again…”

Stay with me here…

The reason a woman challenges you like this is because she doesn’t buy your “I’m cocky and I’m a confident guy” routine.

She sees right through it and knows it’s an ACT.

Sometimes she’ll be difficult like this just to play along and have fun with you, but more often than not, she’s really flaunting it in your face that she thinks you’re just putting her on.

And she knows that if she just pushes it long enough, you’ll cave in and start to crumble like a wet taco.

And that is when the sexual tension completely evaporates. You got into a battle of escalation with her, and you couldn’t stay in the game.

I got into one of these with a SMOKING hot blonde at a Christmas party about 3 years ago. I have to give this woman credit - she was sharper than average, which I’m sure has led her to believe that she could out-game any guy out there she needed to.

Just a few years earlier, I would have been all jello with her and not had the slightest clue that I needed to keep the teasing up. Luckily I had been working on my inner game and I stayed right in there with her.

(I’m going to reveal what I said that got her to wave the white flag and surrender in just a second…)

Hot women toy with guys like this, not because they’re mean spirited and want to stomp your ego into the gutter.

It’s sport. Pure and simple.

The reality is that it’s survival of the fittest out there, and she’s got to know you’re fit. ANY guy can memorize a few clever one-liners, but she knows that if she keeps playing with you, she’ll know what you’re worth.

The sad fact is that she’s not laughing nearly as much WITH you as she is laughing AT you.

Especially when she sees that she’s starting to win.

So you want to know what my all-purpose killer line that got that blonde to finally cave?

I said this:

“You know, this banter is pretty fun… Still, I’m wondering if you’re just another one of those California blonde girls - or if you’ve got something else going on in there. I suspect you do… I’d like to know what it is.”

BOOM.

Her expression changed in a heartbeat.

And it wasn’t because of the words I said (*though, you’re welcome to use them.)

It was because I said it with such a heartfelt sincerity that she could tell that I WANTED to care about her, but I needed her help in seeing why I should.

From that moment on, she became putty in my hands. I’d flipped the tables on her and put her on the stage to qualify herself to ME.

If I’d just kept up the witty banter thing, that would have gotten old. And eventually - even if I was the one with the stronger reality - she would have just felt like I was in competition with her.

Instead, I dropped the ping-pong match of “who can be funnier and wittier” and got her to get REAL with me. Drop her mask.

Be vulnerable.

The effect this has on women, by the way, is DEVASTATING…

Remember, the reality for an Alpha Man is that he’s never dealing with a “tough girl.” If she’s tough, it’s because she’s putting on a front or a pretense.

I did the same thing with a woman in Vegas when I held my Alpha Immersion Seminar.

We were in the Hard Rock at the bar, and I saw this Latin woman with a gold necklace with a pendant shaped like a gun. I saw that and I knew it was “Game on!”

I went over and said hello, and then I asked her why she wore that necklace. She said it was because she hung out with some tough guys. (The guys she was with were wusses, I could see that.)

I told her this was an act. She wasn’t tough. Underneath this ‘tough girl’ exterior, she was just another woman who needed the love of a good man.

Another of her guy friends (probably the one buying her drinks in the hopes that she will start liking him eventually) chimed in with, “No, man, she is a tough girl. You don’t know her.”

But I did, you see.

I know ALL women just by virtue of knowing how they think, and what they want.

All you have to do is break them down past their silly defense mechanisms and you get down to their soft centers. Yup, just like M&Ms.

If you want more information on the REAL attraction skills of a genuine Alpha Man - and that beats the “pickup artists” every single time….

Go learn the Secrets….. CLICK HERE…

Hey, go watch this video now: UNBELIEVABLE VIDEO

It’s the latest video from Dave M. and it might be
the coolest internet dating video you’ve ever seen.

Seriously.

No need to opt in or anything, it’ll just play.

In this video, Dave goes over a simple technique
that shows you how ANYONE can get more women
emailing them back.

(He makes it very freaky easy…)

Plus he actually shows you exactly what to do so
you can do it too.

My favorite one is the ’swiping’ method he shows
you.

Seriously - this is good. No cost, no shenanigans -
just good content as usual.

Watch it now. You know how weird Dave is … he
might take it down at any minute…

Enjoy
- Carlos X.

P.S. He’s also giving away a 31-minute “Cherrypicker”
video for free.

Some people who saw the sneak preview of this
said it’s some of the most eye-opening, high quality,
and immediately usable internet dating information
they’ve ever seen.

…And that includes the stuff they’ve paid for.

I haven’t seen it so I don’t know what it’s like. I did,
however, sign up to get is when it comes out and
I suggest you do the same.

Either way, watch this video. It’s really awesome.

Guys, I’ll be appearing at Fort Mason tomorrow night for a group presentation to the San Francisco Lair.

You can come on over and see me at 7:00 PM here:

Fort Mason Center, building C room 210
Marina Blvd @ Buchanan
San Francisco, CA 94123

I’ll be covering some of my latest concepts and practical techniques for raising your inner game and self-confidence.

See you there!

- CX

Take a look at this image, and tell me what you think of this study.

What they did was trace the eye movements of men and women as they looked at a particular advertisement.

Their results were very telling.

CLICK THE IMAGE BELOW TO SEE THE FULL VERSION:

Interesting, isn’t it?

Women immediately gravitate to the face, and then scan the rest of the ad.

Men are drawn to the sexual areas of the picture first, and then down the rest of the ad.

This has obvious implications in advertising, but also in the concept of male “eye control.”

Don’t stare at the boobies, guys. She knows when you do.

Here are a few horror stories I found at sfgate.com.

Pretty amusing, and I’ve added lessons to their stories for you:
______________________

“I met this one girl in a chat room. She lived in Missouri and I live in California. She seemed sweet, and we talked online just about every day.

“She had just gotten a house to live in that belonged to her grandmother. She kept asking me if I would go to Missouri to live with her, and kept saying she loved me to tears. I was flattered. I told her I needed to save up money for about three months. I worked two jobs for three months and was completely exhausted.

“So I then had lots of money and I told her I was ready to be with her. I asked if I could come over. She said, ‘I don’t care, I have two guys staying here now.’

“A word to the wise: Look that girl in the eyes.”
______________________
CARLOS XUMA COMMENTS:

Another word to the wise - date in your own area!

Long distance relationships can work, but they usually come from a scarcity mindset. They come from desperation rather than a healthy attitude.

Trust me, there are probably plenty of women in your area that you don’t know about yet.

Don’t be a sucker from your loneliness.

Next story - from a woman…
______________________

“I met a guy on CraigsList and we had our first date. And in the middle of telling me things that he liked to do and talking about his ex-wife he goes from ‘we liked sailing and buying antiques’ to ‘and I like corsets …’

Excuse me, corsets?

He keeps talking as if he hasn’t said anything off, and I stop him and ask, ‘What do you mean by corsets?’ And he says, yeah, he liked antique corsets and his wife would model them for him.

Oh yeah, you bet this is an appropriate topic of conversation only one hour after meeting someone. I grabbed a cab and ran home and made sure all the doors and windows were securely locked!”
______________________
CARLOS XUMA COMMENTS:

Yeah, that was a tiny bit weird, but running home and making your doors and windows were locked is a BIG over-reaction.

Trust me, there are far freakier things going on out there. A preference for old-fashioned lace attire is not so bad. Worse things have happened, honey. Get over it.

At least HE wasn’t the one modeling the corsets!

Next story…
______________________
“I am a 50-year-old man, slim, considered good looking and fairly successful.

“I recently answered two ads. The first woman looked vaguely like her picture, although in the picture she had long blond hair, and when we met her hair was short and had long, dark roots. And the picture was better looking than she was in person, and her personality didn’t quite fit the profile. The second woman’s picture showed a youthful-looking, long-haired redhead, looking 10 years younger than her posted age. Upon meeting, I barely recognized her. She had deep facial wrinkles and severely short red hair and looked 10 years older than her posted age. AGH!

“I almost canceled all of the subscriptions until another lovely woman popped up on my account, and I am going to try again. Hope springs eternal, I guess.

“Men will probably say that the women are using their best outdated photos to lure us into meeting them. And women say that men are trying to cheat on their wives or girlfriends. Or they lie about their accomplishments, job, etc.”
______________________
CARLOS XUMA COMMENTS:

Canceling all your memberships because of just a couple misfires?

Guys, don’t over-react to these kinds of things.

I’d suggest that guys realize the rules of dating online:

1) You will always run into people who misrepresent themselves. Get over it. This is simply the nature of the beast.

Remember that these people are not inherently evil.

They’re just damn lonely. Perhaps you can relate to that and feel a little compassion?

2) Don’t let just ONE bad incident turn you away from online dating.

Or even several weird events. There are no bad dates - only great stories to tell your future girlfriend.

But you won’t have that future girlfriend if you quit because of a few things like this.

PERSEVERE!

3) Keep your sense of humor!

Let’s face it: Online dating is here to stay. It should be an ESSENTIAL part of every man’s dating breakfast.

Learn how to use it effectively so that you can A) laugh at your great stories, B) not take everything too seriously.

Want more on dating online?

Check THIS out: Click HERE…

Well, guys, I’ve got mixed feelings about today’s entry.

- It’s funny. Some great moments here. Definitely makes a good point about THINKING before you give a woman a gift.

But on the other hand:

- Yet another way men are shamed into submission and fear of women.

But I’ll let you decide on this one.

Thumbs up, or thumbs down?

Why?

Comment below…

Coming in January, Carlos will be appearing in Las Vegas with a variety of other guest speakers at the 2009 superconference.

Basic Info
—————–
What: Masterful Lover Super Conference 2009
When: January 16-18, 2009
Where: Las Vegas NV

Featured Speakers:
—————————–
David Shade - Will be speaking on a variety of topics of sex and sexuality.

Carlos Xuma - Will be speaking on relationships and inner game - and the power of Alpha Confidence to forge a strong relationship with any woman you desire.

Mark Cunningham (”Major Mark”) - Conditioning with pleasure. Imagine
yourself with a woman who will do whatever you want, wherever you
want, as often as you want, enthusiastically - and think that it was
all HER idea!

Zan Perrion - For the men… “How to bring out passion & delight in
your woman.” And for the ladies… “How to bring out the feminine sexy
nature in you to drive your man totally and hopelessly crazy about
you.”

Heather Ann Havenwood - The Madonna-Whore Contrast. Women live a life
of contrast - they want to be the proper respected lady outside the
bedroom, but inside the bedroom with their lover, they want to be
naughty, ruthless, expressive, and told what to do.

Brad P. - How to build successful relationships that stay sexually
charged for a long long time.

Read the full details here: Super Conference Details