1st conversation with a girl
Stop Romanticizing Women
Virtually every guy I know who has trouble keeping conversation going with girls has this strong inclination to romanticize women. They see women as flawless, especially beautiful ones, they think women in general are above them and hard to impress, and they believe they must always say something brilliant in conversation to be able to keep a women’s interest.
They don’t see anything they need to say as good enough, they pressure themselves to be witty with every comment they make, and thus they end up having little to say in a discussion.
This is the reason it’s crucial to stop romanticizing women. It will allow you to relax around women, be confident, and speak your mind without second guessing yourself all the time. And this is a really attractive behavior, which coincidentally also makes conversation feel effortless.
Naturally, to stop romanticizing women is easier said than done. We are talking about changing a thinking and behavioral habit, which demands particular psychological techniques.
Think back to the last time you had a conversation with a woman you were interested in.
Let me ask you something… what are you focusing on the MOST? Was it:
Wondering if you will get her phone number?
Trying to make a good impression, so she will like you?
Doing your best to sound confident and smooth?
I have been thinking about this a lot now, and I realized that one of the biggest mistakes us men make is that we’re too focused on “what she thinks of us” or “if we are going to get what we want (phone number, first date, sex, etc)”… we completely forget the objective of the dialogue, which is…
Getting to know the person in front of you!
It sounds easy, but if you remember this when you are in the real world talking to a real woman, you will loosen up, and start genuinely try to get to know her, and she’ll FEEL that.
If she feels like you’re actually interested in her, she’ll become considerably more interested in YOU. I’ve got a few great tips for you to use next time you speak to a nice looking girl.
Talk about somebody or something in the Area
You may observe a individual wearing outrageous clothing, somebody acting inappropriately, a fight, etc.. Use whatever is happening around you for the conversation, especially if she shows some sort of reaction to it. By way of example, if you observe some dude wearing a ridiculous outfit you could say something like: “I think we just found your future husband!” You’ll be surprised just how well this works.
Bait her with an overheard comment
This technique differs in the sense that rather than approaching her, she’ll overhear you talking to a friend and will feel compelled to approach you to learn what you’re discussing. Make a comment loud enough that she’ll happen to overhear, something interesting or provocative enough that she’ll have to hear more. Something like: “Secretly, I think all women do it.” If she hears this fragment, she’ll want to find out more. “What? She’ll want to ask. And from there, you’re home free!
Observe and critique the last guy to chat her up
If you spot a person who fails horribly while trying to pick up on a woman, approach her shortly after he leaves. Ask her: “So how did he do?” She should find a laugh out of this. Critique his attempt, his style, body language, etc.. This communicates all the perfect things, and is a simple in for you to shine with good conversation, and a playful, winning personality.
Ask her some questions.
You want to show her that you’re interested in her while at the same time deciding whether she’s really worth your interest.  A excellent question will make her think, laugh, and like you, all at exactly the same time.
Avoid “yes” and “no” questions. A question like, “Did you like the new movie that came out this weekend?” will get you either a “yes” or a “no” but may not launch a meaningful conversation. This sort of question will find a much longer answer from her.
Girls often like guys to make the first move. Rather than waiting for her to ask you questions, be proactive and do the asking first. You want a balanced conversation in which you find out what she’s about while also sharing parts of yourself.
Find out what she’s passionate about. If you like this girl, then odds are you find something about her really fascinating. Ask her why she likes what she likes, or why she thinks what she thinks. Ask her something that you genuinely want to learn more about instead of asking questions simply to get her to talk. If you’re insincere, she’ll know, and your conversation will be dead in the water.
People like to talk about themselves. If you find out what she’s passionate about, the conversation will go naturally and easily. This is the easiest way to construct a connection.