Don’t be alone on New Year’s Eve. First, you’re passing up a great opportunity. And second, it doesn’t really set the tone for a good 2009, does it?
Fortunately, all the odds are in your favor. Print out this guide to plan your night and take advantage of what nature is giving you.
What’s really going on with New Year’s Eve?
* People are festive and happy.
* They don’t have to work the next day.
* They want to feel close to each other.
* No one wants to be alone.
* Barriers are down.
* Alcohol is flowing.
* It’s more socially acceptable to hook up.
(The last of these is an example of when the magic phrase “it doesn’t count” comes into play. Those three words have been responsible for more sex with more beautiful women than any other I know… to add those to your arsenal check out the now-classic Soul/Savoy instant download on Female Psychology.)
So, that’s all good. Now here’s what to expect:
New Year’s Eve at Clubs
If you’re going to a club, it’s going to be more intense than usual. You have to be high-energy and be the life of the party. This doesn’t mean being drunk and obnoxious (though I almost certainly will be, but that’s because my name is Savoy and I’m an alcoholic). It does mean giving off a powerful, upbeat social energy.
This is otherwise known as “being in state.” There are a bunch of great tactics we’ve discovered that let you feel at the top of your game every night you go out. Discovering these helped turn my game from hot-and-cold to hot-and-hotter.
One thing I see guys messing up all the time is when they get to a club or party and then do a reconnaissance mission around the place - to see where all the cute girls are, for future reference I suppose, or more probably as a tactic to avoid having to approach right away.
Don’t do this. Approach as soon as you arrive. I don’t care if you’re sexually attracted to the first woman you approach; I don’t even care if you approach women. Just establish the momentum that comes from arriving somewhere and instantly being part of the social scene there.
If you want to learn how to put yourself in the type of positive, powerful emotional state that women respond to, even when you’re not in the mood, download Moxie and Savoy on Getting in State. It’s got specific tips you can start using tonight.
Also, at clubs, you’ll see a lot more women who don’t normally go to clubs, but who will make a few exceptions every year with New Year’s being one of them. Most of these women will be in large groups and many of them will be dancing. So, be aware that there will be beautiful women on New Year’s Eve who don’t always act like you may be used to beautiful women acting at clubs… they may be a little friendlier and more down to earth.
So, if you’re used to using a lot of hard-core teasing and disqualification, make sure you’re watching her reactions and pick up on signals when it’s time to tone it down.
New Year’s Eve at House Parties
House parties are like extended social circles. You’re all at the same party because you’re all no more than a degree or two of separation from anyone else.
Mr. M and Braddock are the experts on Social Circle Mastery - even running a wildly popular one day seminar focused specifically on this - so I’ll quote them when they warn:
“Don’t treat your social circle like a nightclub.”
For example, you can generally use a lower risk-reward opener at a house party. People are expected to talk to each other, even if they are strangers. In practice, most people at private parties will have some connection to each other anyway, such as having mutual friends or a mutual connection to the host.
In other words, you don’t need higher-risk openers to cut through the social barriers that you might find yourself faced with at clubs. Even “Hi, I’m Joe” or a functional or situational opener will usually be fine at a house party, whereas an elaborate opinion opener might seem weird. It will definitely seem weird if by using it you come across oddly, especially if you use it more than once at the same event.
(If you don’t know what low or high risk-reward openers are, or the difference between functional, situational, opinion, direct, and challenging openers, this is all available for no charge - download it right away - as part of the sample chapters we offer on the Magic Bullets page. No excuses. Head on over there now. I’ll wait.)
While I normally advocate taking risks, you want to be a little more strategic in a party setting. If your warm-up approaches misfire, it’s normally not a big deal. Find another part of the club, and, with luck, no one will have seen your first approaches. Even if you bomb an entire club, there are more clubs. You’ll never see these people again.
At a small- or medium-sized party, if you fail on the approach or seem awkward, you can assume that everyone will see it. No girl wants to be with the “creepy guy who was hitting on everyone” or the “weird guy with all those pickup lines.” Even if she didn’t notice and she likes you, you can count on her friends “rescuing” her from you later.
But - anyway - you shouldn’t be getting blown out when you approach. Are you?
If so, let’s fix this.
The same factors that hurt you if you’re treating your house party like a nightclub can help you if you play it right. You don’t have to approach most women “cold” - you’ll know someone who knows her, so you can easily be introduced or “just happen” to meet her when your friend is nearby. It will feel much less like a pickup to her.
Here’s another one. Say you meet someone early in the night and have some chemistry with her. Later, you can ask a mutual friend about her.
* DON’T say something like: “I really like Sarah.”
* DO use the opportunity to qualify her through a mutual friend. For example: “Sarah seems cool; where do you know her from?” Your friend will understand the sub-communication, which is “Sarah made a good first impression on me, and I’m a little curious about her.”
Done properly, your friend might even do a lot of the hard work on your behalf.
Your logistics at a New Year’s Eve party are also different. You’re probably not going to leave the party to go somewhere else, at least not before midnight, so think of places at the party where you might be able to get to know her better.
If you’re offered a tour, take it. Know this stuff in advance.
I once lost a foursome (with three women) because I didn’t do this on New Year’s Eve at a friend’s party in New York. I had three women in tow, and all we were looking for was an empty bedroom. Feeling the energy dissipate while we wandered around the party, I finally found a room that seemed empty - until a knock on the door 10 minutes later from the owner of the room and his “date.” By then, I couldn’t get all three up for the idea of continuing to look around (especially since we’d been “caught”) - but with a little planning and foresight, I would have known there was a comfortable furnished basement open.
Learn from my mistakes, folks.
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