PUA Blogger

Last night I went out with the Wooden Wingman putting him through the Tough Guy Challenge. I took him to a super rough area and pushed him into sets. From the moment we set foot inside the pub we were attracting AMOGs. The video shows SteviePUA dealing with one AMOG who tried to show his dominance over his terrain. He did not take kindly to a new challenger entering his domain.

He immediately comes over and asks what I’m laughing at. I stand up to him to show I’m not intimidated then reopen him when he walks away in order to retake the initiative. I turn to humour once he realises I am not intimidated by him - I asked whether he had won any money on the jukebox yet (like it was a slot machine). We get into the theme of gambling and he admits he prefers to kick people in the face and rob them for money than take a chance gambling. He walks away with some grudging respect that I have stood up to him on his own turf and on subjects of importance to him.

You’ll spot the Wooden Wingman looking nervously beside me. He did ok in this venue - a bit paranoid at first but he settled into it and held a rough AMOG 2 set.

I’m taking the Wooden Wingman on SteviePUA’s Tough Guy Challenge.

This is a mission designed to boost your inner game and confidence. It results in being far better skilled at dealing with mixed sets of males and females. It also turbo charges your AMOG game.

If you can pass this mission most normal mixed sets you run will be simpler. Think of this like resistance strength training for your muscles - you learn to lift heavier than normal weights so when you go back to lifting normal weights it’s far easier.

The Tough Guy Challenge goes like this:

1. You think of all the pubs and bars you would never step into if your life depended on it. They are rough, dangerous and anything can happen in them. YOU GO TO THOSE VENUES!

2. Once inside these roughest of the rough, toughest of the tough bars, you look for the people you would normally stay the hell away from. These people would cause you to grind your teeth if you dreamed about them at night. You would flee from them in your dream and be glad when you woke up. YOU TALK TO THOSE PEOPLE.

3. When talking with those people, you think of subjects you would never normally talk about. This could be your non-existent hashish stash, the car you stole and sold to a ram-raider or the police man who is making your life shit. YOU TALK ABOUT THOSE SUBJECTS.

When you can learn to do these stages successfully you have passed the Tough Guy Challenge and you will have grown in character, in balls and in your skill set. Being able to calibrate to your target and speak to them on their own terms is a high level skill and it applies as much to sarging as much as any other communication interaction. Being accepted by the person you are talking with gives you social proof, especially if they can relate to what you are saying.

We could do the Posh Chap Challenge where you go to the poshest wine bar and order a flute of champagne and discuss stock prices with the snobbiest person you can meet - this would also teach you the skill set of being able to calibrate your conversation to the person you are interacting with. But such a challenge is relatively easy. It does far more for your confidence to push yourself into a rough bar and talk to a hard man than to walz around a luxurious wine lodge.

To push yourself and really kick your ass into gear, the Tough Guy Challenge is far more effective. Believe me, I’ve done both for many years. I’ve even faked being a bouncer on the door of some of these tough bars and checked IDs of some real tough cookies.

Being someone who practises what he preaches, I have done the Tough Guy Challenge for many years in many cities. It’s taught me so much about quickly sizing up a person, calibrating their state and what they value in life. Once you can do that your next step is to build rapport with them and social proof yourself through your conversation. You need to look for ‘hits’ which show what you are saying is of value to the person and make sure you pursue those ‘hits’ and amp them up.

Once you become adept at this part of the mission, you need to learn to usurp their reality by first having them see you as an equal then to over take what dominance and control they have of the discussion so they begin to see you as someone who potentially has more value than they do.

This is high level mind fucking and when you can do this you will be on your way to becoming a true Jedi.

I’ll post more on the higher level skills of usurping the person and controlling their frame in subsequent posts.

Let’s see how the Wooden Wingman does on his training missing first!

A buddy of mine, Max, who I met at the Speed Seduction seminar in London this year asked me for ideas on how to sarge girls he meets outside bars whilst having a cigarette break for 5 minutes.

This is my suggestion to him, and I’m sharing it with you because I’d be interested to hear how it works for you smokers out there who have to leave the bar to enjoy a cigarette.

I’ve field tested the themes and pattern language and they are solid, though being a non-smoker I’d like to know how they work for you in a smoking environment.

The background to this enquiry by Max is that a few years ago, the UK government banned smoking in bars so one now has to leave the venue and stand outside to smoke. The PUA outcome of this is you can often find targets outside venues smoking for a limited time before returning to their set inside the bar.

This means the PUA has to make an impact quickly before his target returns inside the venue. On the other hand, a benefit of the ban is chicks are now isolating themselves away from the usual noise and their peer group. It’s therefore easier to communicate as people.

Try running this:

“I was just arguing with my friend Gemma about the smoking ban. I mean, what do you think of having to come outside for a cigarette these days? I know everyone says the air is cleaner inside and your clothes don’t smell of smoke after a night out and all that. The reason I ask is her friend was telling us he is all in favour of having to come outside for a cigarette because it is a great way to meet people. He didn’t even smoke when the ban came in but since then, he’s taken up smoking socially because he meets so many interesting people outside having a cigarette.

And he was telling me most of the people he meets are a lot more laid back and cool than the other people he used to meet. There’s something about people who smoke that says they are more chilled out, they go with their feelings, they have their own minds and live life to the full, in the moment - when they want something, they tend to go for it. Have you ever met someone like that, me … I find you can meet all kinds of interesting, intriguing people just having a break and when you realise that’s what can happen, between you and me, I have to say it’s the kind of experience you can focus in on and find yourself thinking about a lot more because this is the kind of experience you can find so unexpectedly enjoyable…”

This approach uses pacing and leading, confusion, ambiguity, implied social proof, it is non-apologetic (you are meeting her in just the way you describe) and it uses some humour. It builds interest, focuses her mind on you and sets you up as someone she is going to think about more.

Play around with that kind of approach.

 SteviePUA

Recently, I did an interview for Adonis on his Same Night Lays Series.

 You can check it out on Charming Rogue:

http://www.charmingrogue.com/audio/Stevie%20PUA.mp3

Now I’m pleased to present Adonis’ new Same Night Lays Series training program where you can get in field training as well as materials to study at home.

Follow the links and tell him SteviePUA sent you

I’m sad to report that my long term wingman and good friend Steve AKA ‘The Mixed Blessing’, has died.

I got the news last night. Steve suffered from epilepsy for many years and appears to have died in his sleep. He was only 33 years old.

I met him over ten years ago in a club in Newcastle and he was so outgoing, innocent and friendly that I quickly took to him. He was not the sharpest tool in the box, though, and therefore he could open sets easily with his natural friendliness but given long enough, he would fuck the set up with some daft comment to put our targets off. Hence his wingman name.

One time I was sarging a Polish girl and it was going well. In came Steve, pointing to a poster for the advertised Polish Night in the club. “Polish?” he asked, “I need to polish my shoes, you know”. The set was lost.

Some people loved him and others didn’t get him. But that was because they didn’t know what a genuinely friendly guy, who is not needy, and who loved socialising for its own sake is like. I did get him and we had countless nights out together in the Newcastle nightlife.

I could write a book about the crazy situations we got into and the stories he would tell me. But that was Steve - he was extremely funny without knowing it. He’d come out with such gems without even thinking about it, like the time he told me he’d tried to sell his flat. At some point he’d realised that he didn’t actually own it!

I’ll miss you, Steve.

A cute ass is not the only sphere of quality you should be seeking

In the PUA community and wider media it seems increasingly common to see references to visiting the Playboy Mansion/win a date with a Playboy bunny.

No thanks. It’s the wrong frame to buy into.

Sure, I like hot girls as much as the next guy. Even more! But having someone else BRAND a girl as hot, and give her the official company seal of hotness, sucks.

Why? Because you are letting someone else decide your standards for you. Someone else is telling you a girl is attractive before you have screened her for who she is as a person. She could be a nutcase, manic depressive, drug addict or a nice girl. The problem arises when you find yourself buying into the frame and salivating at the prospect of meeting a chick that SOMEONE ELSE has decided is quality.

This is not a good frame to get caught up in.

As valuable people (good PUAs are genuine high value people), we ought to be constantly asking ourselves if that prospect in front of us is good enough for US. And this means genuinely being choosy who we let into our lives.

Sure, she might have a nice physical appearance but we should require more than that. I was stalked by a chick I laid because I hadn’t screened her for mental stability and non-neediness (some girls suffer from this as much as AFCs, in my experience) and to be honest, there are not a whole lot of girls that I meet these days who are the type I’d want to let into my life.

So when next you read the celebrity sites and the latest ‘who’s hot and who’s not’ listings, ask yourself who is deciding YOUR quality screening frame. Is it the media industry selling their values to you or are you out there in the field meeting real people, connecting with them using your PUA skills and screening them to make sure they are good enough for YOU?

The first step, of course is to know what kind of person you want to let into your life. I’ve had a motto for years now :- ‘Never Let Someone Into Your Life Who Has More Problems Than You’.

On the positive side, once you have determined what kind of person will add to your life, will make you more balanced and more the person you want to develop into then you can move to gravitating towards the places and people most likely to bring you into that sphere of quality. So remember, decide quality on YOUR terms, because:

‘A cute ass is not the only sphere of quality you should be seeking’

Natural Mike is one of the very best PUA’s I’ve met. He’s a buddy of mine going back 10 years. We’ve met and layed so many chicks together on our European travel adventures.

In my previous post, I tried to outline some of the reasons he is so good. It’s hard to define, but right up there at the top is his charisma.

Watch his body language and facial gestures. He pulls people in and engages them with his enthusiasm and humour. It’s very easy to let him lead you, he makes it all naturally congruent. That’s why I call him Natural Mike - he comunicates this way, seemingly, without having to try.

Notice also the vibe I have with my wingman: we are having more fun than anyone else in the venue. We are enjoying ourselves and not being wall flowers staring at targets.

Natural Mike is the best PUA, besides Mystery, I have seen. I lived with him in 2000-2001 and learned a lot of my game from him. For the first time in 5 years I travelled to stay with him in Germany last week (late August-early September 2009). These are my updated thoughts on Natural Mike and what he does.

Mike is 43 years old and has a girlfriend who is 25 years old. He has grey/white hair but looks young. He stands out in the crowd because of his hair colour. He is about 6′ 1″ tall and slim.

He dresses smart casual (which he calls the ‘classic’ look), after getting advice from a gay guy on what style would suit him best for his frame and complexion and what colours would go with his hair colour. He doesn’t wear bright colours and favours an Italian type style very often e.g. dress pants and shoes and a polo top or shirt with a casual jacket. He used to dye his hair but has stopped because chicks told him they like it the way it is - it reminds them of Richard Gere.

In the past 2 years he has had a series of girlfriends (a dozen or so I counted), all of them aged 24 or 25. He has laid around 100 girls.

He is English but lives in Germany. He uses an us-versus-them technique to pick up non-Germans e.g. finds something they don’t like about living in Germany and shares in that solidarity as a non-German. He specialises in Polish, Czech and Russian girls, though his current girl is Mexican. She is high quality - from a rich, educated family in Mexico city and she is doing a Masters degree. He has laid many German girls too. He had a French GF last year too. A Georgian girl wanted to marry him.

He learns languages in his free time and uses his language skills to stand out from the usual people the non-Germans meet. He speaks several languages well and connects with people in their own language. His targets don’t expect to meet someone in Germany who can speak Polish/Czech/Spanish/Russian etc so he is able to get their curiosity which he can quickly turn into attraction.

The area he lives in is an immigrant area so he is able to walk into the local Portuguese restaurant and meet people in their own language. I saw him work the room and shake hands, greeting almost all the regular customers. He chatted to them briefly then moved on. It was like he was the owner, but actually it was short set theory and he doesn’t know he is using the technique. He does it naturally. One HB was flirting with him from his social proof alone and her husband was in the venue. Mike knows she is attracted and he has to be very careful because the husband is aware something is going on (he told me this).

He is very charismatic and talkative. He controls the frame easily with anyone through his expressive communication, both in his voice tone and facial communication. He can talk non-stop and the conversation NEVER stalls. This seems a key to his charisma. When he speaks he is very congruent. He makes it pleasant to be drawn into his world.

When walking through the street he stops and talks to the local people he has made his acquaintances. This is generally useful but on the train home one night we got into a minor altercation with 2 Indian males about his discussion of how to say ‘big tits’ in Hindi. But usually his talkativeness and language skills are tremendous assets.

When closing girls, he often says ‘I’ll meet up with you later’, and meets them after they have finished work or done their current chores. He told me he saw a Polish looking girl working at a stall in the town square and it was love at first sight for him. He kept looking at her and she looked back. He went over to talk to her, spoke some Polish and attracted her then said he’d meet her later. He kissed her that same night and now she is on his Facebook, saying she wants him to be her lover (but she is married and is now back in Poland so he is not sure of how to handle this one).

This Polish girl pick up seems based on his looks then some chat and humour and language skills to show connection. He teases people too and is not afraid to use bawdy humour or sexual innuendo in a light way. When closing for a meeting he is playful yet direct. He talks about the interaction with the girl e.g. tells her if he is embarrassed or that he thought she might not like him. This prompts her to open up in return.

He is struggling to get Facebook working for him because he is worried the girls he is adding from real life PUs will see each other on Facebook and find out about each other. But the counter-intuitive part of this is he sometimes talks about his ex girlfriends with the current girls he is seeing. This seems to be used to give them examples of behaviour he liked or didn’t like in the old GFs so the present GFs know what they should do and not do when around him.

Mike uses a distinctive look at girls to see if they are interested in him. He narrows his eyes but doesn’t smile initially. He will look back over his shoulder when they pass him to see if they look back at him over their shoulder. He will then follow up if it seems they are interested. If they look back he will change his state and typically tease them. I’ve seen him putting his tongue out at girls or pretending to hide from them when he sees them becoming attracted. This draws them in playfully and he can then build on that and bring them into his frame more easily from there.

He doesn’t like work and has a work-life balance heavily in favour of life. He sleeps late and spends his free time learning languages and watching videos (often with the girls he has met). He likes to eat out though, often meeting girls in cafes. Many of his successes come from day game e.g. in cafes, at work, shops, in the street.

He only has a few topics of conversation but for some reason one rarely gets bored of them because he talks about them in such depth and with passion. These topics include leaving Germany soon (he’s been using that one for 10 years), meeting girls and the girls he has met recently, learning languages, friends who have helped him or cheated him, his health, travelling and football. Most conversations revolve around these topics.

He talks about his topics of conversation all day and rarely asks questions from people on these topics unless it is about himself e.g. advice on where he should live in future or if a girl likes him or if we think a friend of his is weird.

He makes a distinction between being in love with a girl and loving a girl. He says you can love a girl as a person but this is not the same as being in love with her. Being in love with her is all consuming and includes strong sexual attraction. He has broken up with soul mates because he was not in love with them. One girl had to see a shrink and get medication when he told her he was not in love. His current girlfriend is great and sexy and smart. But he suspects he is not in love with her either. The girls who he was in love with ended up moving on or going back to their boyfriends. This is a pattern over the years, I’ve noticed (I’ve known him for 10 years).

He talks about the smell of attraction and suggests the pheromones might make two people attracted. Whatever it is, it seems to have a strong sexual component that is immediately evident and he senses when it is on.

He is thinking about circumcision because his foreskin is too tight when he lays chicks. This makes him not want to use condoms because they hurt his penis. He prefers girls to be on the pill and has avoided shagging his current girlfriend much because it is too painful - she is very tight, apparently.

He drinks but little and in moderation; he is sociable without booze - in fact alcohol can bring him down after a night without meeting a decent chick.

I’ve learned so much from Natural Mike, I can’t put it all down here but these are some of the thoughts and learnings I noticed from my 2009 visit to him.

I just back from the Speed Seduction London seminar. It was my second seminar with Ross in person though I have been studying Speed Seduction since 1997. I bought the Basic Home Study Course in 2000 and really worked hard with it. I got good at patterning by practising out loud and trying out the techniques as I was learning. Don’t feel you have to master everything before you try it!

There is more to Speed Seduction than patterns, of course, and a lot of the inner game material helped straighten my inner thoughts back then. My inner game is pretty good now, largely due to the beliefs I developed from Ross.

The seminar ran from Friday to Sunday and I learned a lot.

 The first day focused on theory and some of the beliefs that empower Speed Seduction. It included some examples with female demonstration subjects (hejsan to Charlotte from Sweden).  The second day was a mixture of theory, word for word language patterns and walk ups. There was also some change work with some students to help them with their sticking points. The third day (my favourite) was on walk ups and how to build on them. It also had a fantastic demonstration of synesthesia trance with a Swedish HB, as well as 2 guest speakers and more trance work.

There were a lot of cool guys at the event - hello to all of you who I met (and there was one annoying student who wanted to argue for the sake of it, it seemed to me - c’est la vie, mon ami?) - keep in touch.

On Saturday we went out to a bar, ate and talked to some girls. I was on reasonably good form and talked to about 6 sets in a couple of hours. There was a karate Grace Jones chick, a 2 set with an Asian girl and her friend who, I was informed, did not have a boyfriend. Then there were the bar chicks, one of whom had her name apparently tattooed to the back of her neck in case she got lost or forgot it. My two favourites were a time-travelling chick (don’t ask!) and the cute petite Lauren who thought I was bi-textual. I must check my email for the identity I gave her and see if she has been in touch.

I liked the Two Brother’s pattern, which Ross covered on the final day and will begin learning it now that I have some free time.

I’m flying to Switzerland on Tuesday then will Inter Rail round that country and into Austria and Germany. Maybe France will get a look in if it behaves itself

Cheers,

Stevie

I thought I was indecisive but I’m not sure now.

After much thought and planning, I booked a holiday. I’m going to Switzerland, Austria and Germany.

First, I’ll fly into Switzerland and from there take a train to the other two countries. I bought a rail pass so I can go where I want when I want. The plan is to see Geneva, Zurich, Vienna, Salzburg, Munich, Cologne and Hamburg. I fly out of northern Germany in early September.

There is so much to see and only 10 days to see it all. Plus there are lots of smaller towns and cities which appeal - Freiburg, Heidelburg, Linz. Where does one start? Is there anyone in the community in these places? I know Natural Mike in Hamburg, he’s an old pal of mine who I can stay with for a couple of days. I always learn something from him.

And yesterday, I got off the phone from Ross Jeffries. I’ll be attending his Speed Seduction seminar in London from Friday to Sunday. I’m looking forward to seeing him again, it’s been a few years now and I also learn a lot from his teaching.

So, let the holidays begin.