PUA Blogger

Okay guys, Day 1 of our countdown to the Top 10 list this year is an easy one…

What do you think was the craziest community “drama” to happen in 2008?  Please give a *DETAILED* explanation as to why you think it is the craziest, what impact (if any) it had in the community, and what you enjoyed the most about it.

The winner of this contest will get…

$100!

Right out of me own pocket, to spend on whatever you want.

Sound good?

Winner gets announced on Wednesday.  If no one gives me anything good, or no one enters, I’ll just roll the prize money into the next contest.

So get yer butt into the comments thread of this post and start submitting your entries.  Can you submit more than one?  Fo’ sure.  But remember:  You can’t win if you don’t enter!  So if you’re one of those hoity-toity types who wipes his arse with Benjamins, don’t bother entering.

For the rest of you, I look forward to seeing your entries!

S’up party people.

In case you didn’t notice, I took a little “mental health” break from the blog for a few months.  Just needed some time to unwind and have fun instead of dealing with people who wanna hate on me and threaten lawsuits and the like.

I wanna apologize to those of you who liked my Pick Up Artists Recaps.  I had tivoed all the episodes with the intent of doing recaps, but honestly, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.  I really, really, REALLY did not enjoy this season and it was a great deal of effort to sit there and make up masturbating serial killer jokes - something which just simply should NOT be work… ever.

Maybe if I’m feeling really masochistic some day, I’ll download the eps I missed on iTunes and recap them then.  But otherwise, I’m going to have to stop.

One thing I will NOT stop, however, is my TOP 10 PUA LIST.

I usually release the list on New Years Eve/Day, at least traditionally, but I found myself in a situation this year where I was without internet for a good week and a half, so I was not able to post this year’s rankings.

But I will, in fact, be posting the 2008 list THIS FRIDAY, January 9th.

Why this Friday?  So I can spend some time this week giving away the obligatory fan-fare prizes that go along with the unveiling of the list!  Duh.

As always, prizes will be dispensed based on Blog Participation, so you’ll want to check in every day leading up to Friday to see what the new contest is.

This year I’ll be giving away mostly money, since it’s too much of a hassle to deliver prizes and crap to people.  So I hope you guys out there are a fan of cash!  Because this year, I’m gonna be giving away a LOT of it.  Savvy?

So let’s get started with the TOP 10 COUNTDOWN, BABY!!!!

Warning:  This Recap Contains Spoilers!

Hey there boys and girls, its time for yet another fun-filled recap of VH1’s The Pick Up Artist!  So dust off your over-sized goggles and put on your sleeveless fur-lined vests, its time to waste yet another hour of your life watching geeks embarrass themselves and strike out with chicks.

We start the episode with the remaining contestants in shocked disbelief that Fat Gay Alex got his ample posterior kicked off the show.  Apparently, none of the guys have actually SEEN the first season, and know that people get eliminated from the mansion - especially if they are:  fat, gay, old, or a race other than white.

Matt Powers is so upset, he says “Its going to be hard to sleep tonight.”  Funny, I thought it’d be hard to sleep with Fat Gay Alex prowling around the bunkbeds in the dark, looking for unsuspecting nerds to molest.  But what do I know?

The next day, the group is whisked away to a “secret location” (which looks disturbingly like a low-rent porno store in the Valley).  They’re at a mysterious “Italian Club,” with Mystery, Matador, and Tara waiting out front, along with a mysterious looking doorman.

Simeon starts salivating, saying he thinks they’ve been whisked away to a STRIP CLUB, and then starts masturbating furiously.  Little does he know that no stripper would be up in the daytime to hang out with a bunch of geeks with no money - but hey, let the guy dream.

Mystery is looking to start helping the guys build their confidence when talking to women.  So for their first reward challenge (i.e. the challenge where you get Tara to do something demeaning afterward) the guys get to spend quality time with some “quality ladies.”

Hmmmm.  In the first season, a line like that was followed by storytime with a class full of first-grade girls.  I’m thinking this year they may have put a twist on it and gone with geriatrics.  Will I be proven correct?

Asian Brian is hoping to meet some strippers, club girls, or FREAKS.  Either way, he’s so excited his afro starts steaming.

So the challenge is to approach some women and have a conversation.  Simple, right? The guy who makes the best impression wins a “secret accessory” from Mystery’s private collection, and a special tutoring session on how to use it.  Though, I’m sure most of these contestants already know how to use ruphies.

So it’s “game on” and the guys all rush in ready to meet some hot chicks to find… YES!  Geriatric women!  (Can I call them or what?)  Apparently when the Italian Club isn’t selling low-rent porno, it doubles as a bingo parlor for all the major GILFs in the area.

All the old ladies start cat-calling the fresh, young, supple man-meat that just walked in the door, and now the contestants look not only disappointed, but kind of sick to their stomachs.  This is VH1’s the Pick Up Artist!  Did they not expect this coming in?

Simeon, in particular, seems disappointed.  I guess his fantasy of eating the flesh of a stripper has to be put on hold for now.  Well, there’s always next episode, Simeon!

So the guys go to work and start joining the old ladies.  All of them seem to be doing well talking to the women about the most boring, inane shit imaginable.  Matt Power’s is in GILF heaven, since he seems to like to practice his GILFitude at his bubbies old-age home.  Yeah, baby, yeah.

Simeon’s strategy was to schmooze, compliment, and offer to to pay the old women for sexual favors.  Its obvious Simeon is well practiced in flirting with old women, because he does it well - acting as gay as humanly possible.  Hey, old women love gay guys, right?

Asian Kevin is even managing to bore old ladies, which HAS to be hard.  Sensing he’s floundering, Asian Kevin does what any guy would do - puts the burden on the women by asking them for “cool stories.”  Unfortunately, I’m sure all their stories have to do with the old woman’s husbands killing asian people in World War 2, so they do the right thing and keep their mouths shut.

Asian Brian seems to REALLY like the GILFs.  “Talking to these old women, its like they’re cougars!” He explains.  “Except they are like SABERTOOTH!”  Oh yeah, you can tell Simeon and AB are already planning to tag-team one of these old biddies, London Bridge style.  I mean, how could he NOT win them over with great pick up lines like “I love how you guys STINK.”  Smooth.

Finally, Mystery shows up to end the awkward pain I’m going through watching this trainwreck.  VH1 has put together a nice little bingo card with all the contestant’s faces on it, and he asks the ladies to vote for the contestant they liked the best by stamping their favorite with their bingo markers.

I’m going to bet Simeon was able to control his serial killer impulses well enough to win this one.  Let’s see…

And the winner is:  Matt Powers!  Yes, it seems all his practice with his bubby paid off!  Way to go seducing all those randy old Sabertooths, Matty-boy.

Matt Powers can’t wait to see what he gets for winning.  I hope he’s ready to be disappointed because I’ve seen Mystery’s accessories, and none of them are worth talking to 80 year old women for.

Back at Project Arizona, its time for the guy’s first “pick up lesson.”  Mystery starts laying down some knowledge on how to approach women and start conversations.  He lays down the typical indirect openers.  Simeon says “It was like being given the secrets to the universe!”  Yeah, if the universe is all about repeating lines that have been beaten to death in the clubs.

(Actually, if you ask me, these segments should be what the show is about instead of lame reward challenges.  This is where Mystery actually shines.  But I digress… back to VH1’s master plan to embarrass everyone even remotely associated with the network.)

After the pick up lesson, Mystery presents Matt Powers with his reward - A BAG!  Er, uh, what’s INSIDE a bag, rather.  Mystery will reveal what’s in the bag to Mr. Powers later on.

Now the guys divide up into groups so they can practice their openers.  Tara gets to share all her “female insights” with the guys so they know what a real, live girl wants in the club.  Mystery tries teaching his group about the NEG - something which I can’t wait to see Asian Brian use.  “An example of a neg,” he explains, “is Lay-DEE!  Stop EYE-FUCKING me!!!!”  Then AB shares his brand new “Pull My Finger” neg.  Oh yeah, this will be good.

It seems Matador has been snorting a bit too much cocaine lately, since he’s teaching the guys to go up to women and say “I like pickle-juice.”  I guess I was right before when I said Matador’s pick-up prowess drops when he’s not wearing his magical sleeveless raccoon fur vest.

Mystery FINALLY reveals his secret accessory to be:  a fuzzy boa.

Seriously?

Yes, seriously.

I don’t know what’s worse - the fact that a reward was a $3 fuzzy black boa, or the fact that Mystery needed to give a LESSON on how to use one.  Poor Matt Powers.  That’ll teach you to win a challenge.

Now its time for the guys to board Project Manhood and head off to their first field test.  They’re all nervous and frantically cramming for their big test.  Now, we get to flash back to Mystery is his candle-lit lounge and leopard print fur jacket as he narrates exactly the challenges his students will be facing tonight.

So the goal of tonight’s field test is to open sets and reach the hook point (you know, the point where the girl DOESN’T want to call the cops on you?).  I’m going to try and pay attention to the fact that Mystery is explaining the challenge, and not to the fact that Matador is wearing a skin-tight see-through red-mesh shirt.  Honestly, is there a store that sells gay indian cowboy clothes somewhere in Hollywood?  Where does he get this stuff???  When Matador starts dressing sluttier than Tara, something is very, very wrong.

In the club, VH1 reminds us that there are no actors.  Now it’s time to see grown men make asses of themselves!  (Which is what this show really comes down to in the end, isn’t it?)

The first one up is Matt Powers with his ultra-secret feather boa accessory!  (Shhhh!  Don’t tell nobody!)  The boa is doing its job, though.  Matt gets complimented on it right away.  He just doesn’t seem to know what to DO with those compliments!  Instead of locking the girl in like Mystery taught, Matt just stands there looking like a retard.  “What a waste of an accessory!” Mystery cries.  I believe I said the same thing when they announced J-Dog wouldn’t be back this season.

Matt finally gets a nibble when a girl runs up and approaches him.  Unfortunately, he loses her in a short few minutes when the drunk girl who accosted him starts accosting one of her female friends instead.  D’oh.  You nooze, you lose, Mr. Powers.

Now its time for Todd to strut his stuff.  He opens with no problem, just like he did the first time.  He’s smiling, he’s negging, he’s using false time constraints - yeah, my prediction that he’s going to be one of the finalist is looking pretty good now.

Caveman Greg is up.  Let’s see if his new look is going to help him out.  He goes into a set right away, but his stories are pretty bad.  (Hint:  Never talk about Andy Dick to a girl - EVER.  EveryAndy Dick Story in the universe is always distrubing.)  So after Greg is done talking about how he choked out Andy Dick until his face turned purple, the girl asks “What was the point of that story?”

“Ohhhhhhh SNAP!” exclaims Matador.  Well, I guess it could have been worse.  He could have told her he liked pickle-juice or something.

Now its time for Rian to show us what he’s got.  He’s doing the short set method, which looks like its working well for him.  Then he starts up with the Elvis opener.  It seems Rian is doing pretty well, and keeps approaching sets - but he keeps ejecting way too early.  However, he did much better than the first episode, which is saying a lot.

Its Simeon’s turn to enter the club and do his thang.  He comes in with “great energy,” as Mystery puts it, only to be told to “Shut the fuck up” by the first set he talks to.  I guess they recognized him from his sex offender mug shot on the internet or something.  Oh well, back to masturbating in your own feces on your houseboat, Simeon.

Tara is still in love with her favorite serial killer, though.  She keeps bitching out all the girls who can obviously tell Simeon is a creepy, creepy, creepy dude.  Oh well.

Now its Karl’s turn.  Can he do better than Simeon?  I’m willing to bet that as long as he doesn’t get knifed by some jive turkey, yeah, he’ll do better.  To Karl’s credit, he does approach, but you can tell he doesn’t have the confidence to hold the set’s interest.  The girls just ignore him, much like every other girl in the world.  Owch.  Karl now falls into a schizophrenic spiral as he begins frantically talking to himself.  Never a good sign.

Asian Brian is in da house next.  Please, God, let him use the “pull my finger” neg.  Tara tells AB to “work dat fro!”  I guess she’s moved on from Kung-Fu Master of the universe to “weird asian afro dude.”  AB opens sets, and not to disappoint me or America for that matter, actually used the “I LIKE PICKLE-JUICE” opener!  YES!  YES!  YES!  Matador is very proud of himself, and starts rubbing his nipples through his see-through red mesh shirt.

Asian Brian is actually doing well.  He’s being friendly, goofy, and non-threatening.  He even throws a Borat reference in his pick ups for good measure.  Cameron Teone would be proud.  I’d have to say this round goes to Asian SMOKIN’ BALLS Brian.

After the tsunami that was Asian Brian, we get Asian Kevin.  Will AK be able to outdo AB?  We shall see.  He doesn’t seem to evoke much confidence, claiming he threw up in his mouth before entering the club, but hey, that’s never stopped Matador, why should it stop AK?

Kevin barrels into set, and just doesn’t stop talking.  Not only does he not stop talking, he doesn’t stop swearing!  Asian Kevin is talking like a drunken sailor with tourettes syndrome.  He’s also completely ignoring the guys, who you can tell don’t like this foul-mouthed fruitcake cursing up their ladies.

Yes, that was painful.  Asian Kevin, my other choice for the finalist, did not do well.  His lack of social calibration is very painfully obvious.

That concludes the challenge, and all the students gather outside to meet back up with Mystery, Matador, and Tara.  Tara uses her catch phrase “Hey guys!” and Mystery starts praising the work the student’s have done.  He then he announces the winner:  Asian Brian!

Asian Brian is in such shock, he lets his mouth hang open for a few seconds.  Yes, that’s how shocked he is.  I guess liking pickle-juice pays off for some people.  Who knew?

As a reward for winning the challenge, AB gets to pick two guys as his wingmen to protect them from elimination.  Asian Brian will have a hard time picking who to protect, because according to AB:  “These guys are like my family.  They’re like a hair on my butt!”  Its nice to know Asian Brian has as high regard for his family as he does for his ass hairs.

The next day at Project Arizona, the politics of elimination begin.  Poor Asian Brian is having such a hard time, he has to interrupt his confessional by violently vomiting.  That’s what you get for liking pickle-juice so much, motherfucker.

After AB agonizes over his choices, it is time for the customarily over-dramatic elimination session.  Mystery is sporting his fuzzy top hat and eyeliner, so you know he means business!

The students file into the elimination room, and Mystery begins to lay down the rules.  He gives the PUA-Pendant speech, letting us know that each medallion symbolizes some crap about something that has nothing to do with pickle-juice or smoking balls.  (Ain’t that a shame?)

Tonight, they are awarding the white PUA pendant.  Mystery gives the first PUA Pendant to AB, and then asks him for his choices on who his wingmen will be.  AB chooses Caveman Greg and Todd.  Mystery lavishes praise on Todd, and shits all over Greg.  He then dismisses the three immune students.

Now it’s time to start eliminating fools.

Mystery starts hating on all the students that are left, pointing out everything they did wrong in the club.  Not that Mystery is out of line here, these guys did do pretty poorly.

The breakdown is thus:

• Rian - left sets too early
• Karl - Flipped out after getting rejected once.
• Simeon - Too high energy, and scary to women.  (Seriously, I didn’t add that.  Mystery said this!)
• Matt - Didn’t use his accessory.
• Kevin - Cussed way too much and unaware of the discomfort he created.

“And so it begins…” intones Mystery as he begins awarding medallions.  (Seriously, could we get any more over-dramatic here?)

The first one Mystery reveals to be safe is:  Rian.  Apparently, his ability to open a 6-set put him over the top.

The next one to be safe is Matt Powers.  The drunk girl who accosted him because of his boa was his saving grace this week.  He gets to stick around for episode 3.

Now we’re down to Asian Kevin, Serial Killer Simeon, and Karl.  Mystery says there was nothing about any of their performances which impressed him last night.  I beg to differ.  The amount of rejection Simeon experienced was incredibly impressive!  But I digress…

Mystery gives Simeon the reprieve, but warns him that he must gain control of his creepy energy.

It’s now down to AK and Karl.  I think Karl is toast.  We shall see - and in the most overly dramatic way possible.

Now Tara and Matador get to join in the hating.

Tara says Karl’s worst enemy is his self-doubt.  I think his worst enemy is his schizophrenic break with reality, but hey, I’m not an expert like Tara is.  Matador says Kevin needs to be more aware of certain things, like wearing see-through shirts that prominently display your nipples.

Mystery claims he’s “going with his gut” on this one.  He says Karl needs to get over his demons.  He then says Kevin let him down.  Then, in a shocking twist to my finalist predictions, Mystery boots Asian Kevin.  Not that this is a surprise, since anyone who’s asian, indian, middle eastern, or black seems to not have a chance on this show.

Honestly, this is an odd choice for elimination, since I thought Karl did much, much worse than AK.  But whatever.  Karl’s in, AK’s out.

As Asian Kevin leaves, we get the obligatory montage of his time at Project Arizona.  AK says his time at the mansion was “priceless.”  I say it was dull beyond comparison.  At least we didn’t lose anyone interesting this week like we did last episode.

Next week’s episode looks particularity embarrassing, which means it will be particularly awesome.  Kosmo is back, and the prospect of the Kos hanging out with Asian Brian will just be too good to pass up.  Can’t wait to see it and write about it for all you flamers out there.

Until next time, y’all.

SPOILER ALERT:  This recap contains spoilers for the first episode of the Pick Up Artist 2

Well, another year has gone by, which means its time for VH1 to grace the airwaves with yet another season of The Pick Up Artist - starring the one and only Mystery.

Yes, just when you thought it was safe to watch VH1 again, the network that has brought us such cultural icons as Flava Flav and evil Dustin Diamond, is now treating us to another 8 episodes of geeks getting different colored pendants for not embarrassing themselves in front of women.  Huzzah!

The show starts off by reminding everyone about how Mystery is the world’s greatest pick up artist (and snazziest dresser!), telling us about how big of a geek he used to be by showing pictures of him holding a plastic spoon.  Yes, it seems VH1’s definition of “loser who can’t get laid” is synonymous with guys who allow themselves to be photographed holding plastic cutlery.

Then we’re reminded of our favorite trainwrecks from last season - Kosmo, Brady, Joe D, Gay Joe, Spoon, Pradeep, Old Dude, and geeky guy who’s name I can’t remember - and how Mystery “helped” them.  Now that Kosmo is a real Pick Up Artist, he’s been forced to shave his head, wear affliction t-shirts, and share with Mystery’s students the lessons he learned from living with Gay Joe the first season…

“Just open your mouth, don’t be afraid to experiment,” says Kosmo.  (Yeah, people paid $2,000 to hear that bit of advice.)

Now that the recap’s over, its time to prepare ourselves for a new season of the Pick Up Artist, where the challenge is even BIGGER (i.e. the contestants are geekier, gayer, uglier, and asianer).  Also, I’m sure the challenge had a little to do with the fact that women are now on guard for hidden camera pick ups.  But whatever.

Matador is back as Mystery’s wingman, sporting a new beard and a greasier wig.  J-Dog is out, and now Tara is in, so she gets to bring her milkshake to the yard every episode now.  Whether or not she’ll be forced to tongue-down the contestants is still up in the air, but we shall see.

What makes Tara qualified to teach guys how to meet women?  “I’m a woman!” she exclaims.  Yay.  So’s my mom, but that doesn’t mean her advice for getting chicks is any good.  Where’s that other girl from the first season?  She was way hotter than Tara and didn’t talk as much.  Give her the wingwoman spot, fer cryin’ out loud.

Anyway, cue the show intro, and its time to start another season of awkwardness on the Pick Up Artist.

So we start off in a new location - Arizona.  How do we know its Arizona?  Because there’s a cactus!  Lord knows there weren’t any of those in Texas.  But we really know Arizona was chosen due to the fact that its legal to videotape people against their will there.

The 9 unlucky lamers walk down the dusty, sun scorched street as they head towards Project Arizona, letting us know such deep confessionals as “I’ve never had a girlfriend,” “I’m a virgin,” and “I used to suck dick for cocaine.”  (Oops, sorry, that was something Gay Joe said last season.)

I noticed there are no Indian guys this season.  Guess they learned their lesson from Pradeep.  Instead they upped the Asian factor from one to two.  Oh yeah, they also seemed to up the “boring white guy” quotient.  Four minutes into the show, and I’m already wishing someone would start joking about feces.

There’s a surprise waiting for the lamers when they get to Project Arizona - namely a swimming pool full of models in bikinis.  Who wants to bet Tara is among them?  Any takers?  Anyone?

“Hi guys!” exclaims Tara.

Wow, this season is full of surprises already.

Contestant Simeon is beside himself when an actual real, live girl starts talking to him.  I love how his issue isn’t “Virgin” or “Shy Guy,” its “Hyperactive,” which apparently is VH1 code for “We have a potential sex offender here.”

After the lamers run away screaming from the pretty girls, they get to choose their bunkbeds and introduce themselves to the audience.  Hyperactive Simeon (pronounced Sim-eee-on) talks about how he used to live on a boat, which is the perfect venue for dumping the bodies after he’s done molesting them, apparently.  Oh yeah, he’s also a really shitty poet.

Carl works at Radio Shack.  He’s “Heartbroken” because the only girl he’s ever had sex with was cheating on him.  That’s not too unusual when you pay for sex apparently, but don’t tell Carl that.

Then there’s Matt, who likens himself to Austin Powers.  VH1 says he’s insecure about his looks, so yeah, I can see the whole Austin Powers thing.  However Austin Powers was very entertaining, and Matt’s about as entertaining as watching linoleum peal on a hot day.

Now we’ve got Greg, who looks like he just got done shooting a caveman commercial for Geico.  VH1 says his biggest issue is that his voice cracks around women.  Either that, or he’s still going through puberty, which seems a bit more likely.

Now we have Brian, one of the token Asians on the show.  It looks like he’s this season’s annoying guy, taking the Pradeep mantle.  How can we tell he’s annoying?  Well, the hair is a dead giveaway, as is the fact that he’s fuckin’ annoying.  (He asked if the Bidet is a toilet or a sink for god’s sake.  Already, he’s trying to steal Pradeep’s thunder with the poop humor.)

The other Asian is Kevin, who actually seems pretty normal and well adjusted.  He says he went to Mystery as his last resort because he keeps getting shot down over and over again.  But the guy isn’t bad looking and seems to keep in shape, so my guess is he just needs to know how to keep from boring girls.  I smell possible ringer with Kevin.  We shall see.

Now we get Fat Boy Alex, who I guess is this season’s comic relief since he seems to have raided Heavy D and the Boyz closet for his wardrobe.  He says women always see him as gay.  Maybe he should stop wearing jewelry?  I’m sure that would go a long way to convincing people he likes pussy.  But what do I know?

Then there’s Todd, who’s big thing is never having had a girlfriend.  He seems to know a few hot chicks who just see him as their emotional tampon.  No surprise there.  It looks like Todd might be this season’s Brady.  Fairly normal guy with absolutely no personality.

Finally, there’s Rian, the 28 year old virgin.  Could his virginity be caused by the fact that he’s a grown man who sleeps with beanie babies?  Time will tell.

Right now, if I had to put money on it, I’d say that this years finalists will be Todd and Asian Kevin.  We shall see, but just remember, you heard it here first.

Now its time for Mystery to call the lamers.  Apparently, Virgin mobile told Mystery to go suck it this season, so instead of the annoying product placement, we get a speakerphone.  Now he’s sending them all to meet him downtown on Destination Manhood.  (That’s the name of the freakin’ bus for those of you who never saw season 1.)

On the way downtown, the lamers talk all about how awesome Mystery is.  Simone looks like he’s on a three day meth binge talking about the dude, and Fat Gay Alex is practically verbalizing his homosexual fantasy about trying on Mystery’s PVC pants.

Finally, the students meet Mystery.  The lamers are all really impressed with his medallion, cowboy hat, and goggles.  I’m hoping to see the return of the fuzzy top hat soon, personally.  But I think Mystery’s wardrobe is best summed up by Asian Brian, who poetically exclaims: “This guy is smokin’ BALLS tonight!”  (Be still Fat Gay Alex)

No one seems to notice the raccoon skin vest Matador is sporting.  Poor Matador, no one ever says he’s smokin’ BALLS tonight.  Side note:  Next time any of you guys see Matador, let him know that Thundercat hopes he’s smokin’ BALLS that night, just so he doesn’t feel left out anymore.

Then, Mystery gets the ball rolling by saying: “For those of you who do not yet know who I am (pause)… I… (pause)… (keep pausing)… (still pausing)… (for the love of god, stop pausing)… (longest pregnant pause in history)… (Jesus Christ on a stick, we already know your freakin’ name, stop pausing!!!!)… am Mystery.”

Mystery then introduces his wings - Matador and Tara.  It seems Matador is going to be sporting his sleeveless vests the whole season to show off his guns.  (How many push ups does he do before the cameras start rolling, I wonder?)  It looks like he’s trying to shed his Gay Indian Cowboy image in favor of a new, more powerful Gay S&M Indian image.  You go, boy!

Then there’s Tara, who apparently refuses to wear black so she can gell with Mystery and Matador.  She says “Hi guys” for the billionth time in 16 minutes.  Kill me now.  At least she seems to be able to put together a coherent sentence for the show.  Simeon can’t seem to wait to get her on his boat and dump her body in the middle of the ocean.  How romantic.

Mystery starts talking about how their lives are going to change.  “One day, you’ll be so good at this,” he explains, “That you will be able to teach it to your sons.  Except those of you I kick off the show of course.  You guys are just screwed.”

He then goes on to say:

“Only one man will win $50,000.  Only one man will earn the title, The Pick Up Artist.”

Simeon falls on the ground and has an epileptic seizure while masturbating simultaneously.  I didn’t know that was possible until just now.  Thank you VH1’s the Pick Up Artist.  You teach me so much.

Now the first twist in introduced as the show announces the students must all embarrass themselves on national TV by showing Mystery their skills right now.  Austin Matt Powers exclaims “Mystery drops this bombshell on us that we’re going to be starting tonight!”  Uh, dude, did you see season 1?  They always start things off this way.  Oh well.

Mystery explains how the entire club has been equipped with hidden cameras, and they’ll be watching the student’s every move.  This obviously worries Simeon, since he apparently planned to roll around in his own feces in the corner of the club at some point.

“Let the game begin!” says Mystery, as this seasons Lamers file into the Acme Bar & Grill.

Now we get VH1 telling us there are no actors in the club, except of course for the models they hired to be in there, oh yeah, and the plants they put in among the contestants.  But really, who’s counting?

First up is Asian Kevin, who is sweating profusely.  Whether this is due to the fact that he’s in the club, that he’s Asian, or that he’s in the middle of ARIZONA, is unclear.  He complains that he has Swamp Ass.  Little does he know that’s Barry Kirkey’s boyfriend, not his.  Prepare to be flamed on Revolution 31 Asian Kevin!!!

AK doesn’t seem to have a problem approaching sets.  Like I guessed earlier, he just has no idea what to say to girls when he starts talking.  I’m confident now that he’ll make it to the finals, as long as keeps his swamp ass under control.

AK asks his girls if he could “Dig a little deeper.”  Matador exclaims “Not even I would say something like that!”  And as we all know, there is very little Matador would not say… that hasn’t been previously approved by Mystery, anyway.  Though AK strikes out with the girls, Matador does compliment him by saying “He’s got some balls.”  Unfortunately, he did not say he was SMOKING BALLS.  That compliment is apparently reserved only for Mystery.

Now we got Austin M. Powers.  After a little hesitation, AMP approaches with the “What kind of drink is that?” line.  Not bad.  Then the follow up:  “How much was it?” Um… okay.  Finally, he ends the approach with “Thank you.”  Yeah baby.  Yeeeeeaaaaahhhhh.

Now we have Todd, the emotional tampon.  He’s my other choice for finalist, let’s see how he does.  He approaches without too much trouble, but his line is pretty lame.  Matador observes there’s some “disingenuousness” (is that even a word?) with Todd’s approach.  Maybe if he was wearing a raccoon skin vest and a long hair wig, he’d be more genuine, eh?

Now its Caveman Greg’s turn.  I keep waiting for him to scream “ME HAVE BO-NAR!” really loudly and start clubbing women over the head with his rape stick, but then I remember he’s one of those sensitive cavemen who do the Geiko commercials, so instead I just have to suffer through another boring conversation.  Snarf.

Now its time for Pradeep, er, I mean Asian Brian to make an ass of himself.  Will we get a pickup laced with shit humor?  Only time will tell.  AB is all about the teeth apparently, since he can’t stop talking about how white the girl’s teeth are.  Smooth talker this one.  AB tries to continue to be smooth by talking about how much he loves the heat.  The girl shoots him down pretty quick.  Apparently she’s a racist who hates Asian guys.  Either that, or she’s a typical white chick.  You decide.

Now Simeon is up.  Oh God, I hope he knows enough not to start sniffing girl’s asses right away.  I’m actually nervous watching this one.  Apparently his serial killer charm is not lost on Tara, who astutely comments about how he can look “sexually disheveled.”  I guess that’s VH1’s way of saying “he looks like a serial killer who doesn’t bathe.”  Simeon doesn’t waste time being freakin’ annoying as shit, and any fantasy Tara might have had about him choking her to death goes right out the window as she says “He’s the annoying creepy guy right now.”  Uh, he was always the annoying creepy guy, sweetheart.  Get with the program.

Rian’s turn.  Tara says he needs a makeover.  Mystery says he’s already shit his pants.  Matador says he needs a sleaveless raccoon vest.  I’ll give it to Rian, he may seem like a loser, but at least he makes the approach.  Kudos for him.

Now we have Karl, the head, charging through the club.  He looks like he’s running a sprint.  Either the guy is really focused, or he’s really got to pee.  Karl tries to start up a conversation, but the girl’s friend says “Why she’s talking to him?  Just look at the size of his head!  Its like talking to an Orange on a toothpick!”  Owch.

Finally we have Fat Gay Alex.  He’s got his Mr. T bling on.  It does its job, people notice it.  Mystery says “I guess he thinks that’s peacocking.”  Uh, isn’t it?  Maybe it’s not peacocking if you don’t incorporate goggles or a sleeveless vest of some type?  Who knows.  Fat Gay Alex is getting a lot of attention from the bling.  He just has no clue what to do with it.  Mystery says “Not only does he look sad, but I feel sad for him.”  If you feel so sad for him dude, just order Tara to make out with him for a while!  I bet she’d do it.

So now that we’ve gotten to see how bad everyone is, we get to see how the pros do it.  Mystery starts stripping off his peacock gear to show you don’t have to rely on gimmicks - like fame, celebrity, wingmen, magic tricks, a best selling novel, etc. - to get girls.  Notice how Matador doesn’t want to take off his vest, though.  Interesting.

So Mystery and his wings enter the club and do their thing.  Simeon looks like he’s about to start masturbating again as he watches Mystery use his mad magic skills to entertain women.  Matador seems to like to use aliases when he meets women (probably to throw off the police reports filed afterward).  I hear him use “Vince” and “James” in his approaches.  I’m convinced without his raccoon skin vest, he’d be powerless here in Arizona.  I guess we’ll find out.

I did however notice Tara didn’t pick up any women.  What up with that?  She sucks!!!!!

After the demonstration of mad PUA skillz, Mystery sends the lamers back to Project Arizona to prepare for the next day’s challenge.

The next day, Mystery takes his students out for their obligatory make-over.  You know, the time where they get to change from nerdy clothes to downright ridiculous clothes?  Yeah, that.

Apparently the events of last night have turned Mystery’s clothes beige.  Never a good sign.  Though that doesn’t stop Matador from explaining to the students how he checks Mystery out whenever he walks into a room.  Don’t you want to be like Mystery guys?  Dress so Matador wants to check you out!

Mystery explains that the challenge today is to create your own unique avatar.    Thanks to the magic of VH1’s pop-up technology, we know that means “Persona Image.”  Now the guys get to play dress up - Fat Gay Alex’s dream come true.

Tara is busy helping the guys out.  She seems to be doing a better job than Matador.  Simeon comes out dressed like a gay John Travolta impersonator.

“What are you, on drugs?” jokes Matador.

“Oh yeah,” says Simeon.  “All kinds.  Mostly anti-psychotics.  Want some?”

“No thanks,” says Matador.  “I still got an 8-ball chillin in my raccoon skin vest.”

Poor Rian is so overwhelmed with picking out clothes, he starts crying.  Where’s his security blanket when you need it?  He’s so pathetic, he even starts making Tara cry.  Gosh.  Maybe the reason he’s still a virgin is because he’s so depressing he makes every girl around him burst into tears?  Only time will tell.

Then Austin M Powers is sent off to the dentist to get the huge HGH gap in his teeth fixed.  I had no idea being a PUA meant expensive dental work!  And all this time I was focused on lines and routines.  Silly me.

After the shopping trip, its off to get the hair done.  Oh, this should be fun!

Everyone’s getting washed, rinsed, colored, and cut.  Asian Brian is spelling.  In my head, I spell S-H-U-T-T-H-E-F-U-C-K-U-P.  Caveman gets his cro-mag hair chopped off.  Asian Kevin gets his eyebrow pierced.  Simeon begins speaking in tongues.  Its all good.

Now its time for the tanning and waxing.  Just when I thought this show couldn’t get any weirder, we get Rian in speedoes getting spray tanned and Austin M Powers getting his body hair ripped out as his friends stand by and laugh at his pain.  Awesome.

Now that the make-overs are done, its time to go back to Project Arizona.  Fat Gay Alex symbolically throws away his massive gold chain.  Congratulations, you just got rid of the only accessory that could possibly compete with Mystery’s goggles.  Hope your happy, douchebag.

Now Matador and Tara show up with some food to help celebrate the student’s new looks.  Its time for the big reveal of the new and improved lamers.  Matador is, of course, wearing another sleeveless vest, only instead of raccoon skin, it’s 80’s red leather.  Score!  Nothing says BBQ like red leather vests, baby.

First up to be revealed is Simeon, who looks way less like a serial killer now.  Impressive.  You can tell he still wants to masturbate on Tara’s corpse though.  (Its all in the eyes!)

Now we’ve got Rian, who still walks like a geek with his pants up by his armpits.  Tara likes the change, but I doubt she’d ever say anything bad for fear of making Rian cry again.

Now it’s AK’s turn.  Dude looks good.  Definitely a shot for the finalist position.  Same goes for Todd.  It’ll be between these two at the end, I’m convinced.

Fat Gay Alex is out next.  He still looks fat and gay.  They should have told him to go more with the suit look like they did with Joe D in season 1.  Simeon screams out “GQ,” though weather he was talking about Alex or just trying to control a turrets flare-up is anyone’s guess.

Now Asian Brian comes out.  Is it just me, or does he look exactly the same?  I guess he’s not wearing his hot pink “Models Wanted” t-shirt, so that’s an improvement.  Tara says he looks like Kung-Fu Master Of The Universe.  Obviously, Tara is not a fan of Kung Fu.

The Head is up next.  He’s definitely improved with his make-over!  His head doesn’t look nearly as big as it used to.  Nice.

Now it’s time for Austin M Powers.  He looks good, and the caps on his teeth make a world of difference.  AMP is all about making people feel the “Sexual Activity.”  Does he make you randy, baby?  Yeeeeaaaahhhh.

Caveman comes out and is COMPLETELY unrecognizable.  Huge change.  The guy actually looks good!  Its so easy, even this caveman can do it.  Way to go!

After a brief BBQ, Mystery graces the party (complete with the return of the goggles - yay!) and compliments all the lamers before announcing he’s going to kick one of their sorry asses off the show.  (cue dramatic music)

So Mystery has decided one of the guys is going home.  Let me guess - is it the dude that cried like a bitch in the clothing store?  I bet $10 it is!

“I have trained thousands and thousands of men,” Mystery claims.  “And each of them has a spark inside them.  And I don’t see that spark in one of you.”  Hmmmm.  Could that be a reference to the fact that Mystery refuses to train virgins because they’re just too hard to deal with?  Rian’s a virgin, and he cries like a bitch… I’m feeling good about my bet!

Mystery keeps blabbing.  Just get on with it and tell us who’s getting kicked already!!!

Uh oh… it sounds like Mystery is talking about Fat Gay Alex.  They wouldn’t get rid of the fat guy this early on, would they?

And the loser is…

Fat Gay Alex.

Damn!  Oh well, Mystery always gets rid of the most hopeless first.  I guess poor Alex was just too Fat and too Gay to do anything for.  And after he sacrificed his Gold Chain for you, Mystery!  I hope he picks that chain up out of the trash before he leaves, just to stick it to Mystery’s jealous goggles.

So long Fat Gay Alex, we hardly knew ye.  Don’t take it too hard, fat guys CAN get women.  Gay guys CAN get women.  I’m sure Fat Gay guys can get chicks too!  You’ll be in my prayers.  Just keep up with the bling and you’ll be okay my friend.

Sadly, I have to admit this season looks pretty darn good.  I’m looking forward to seeing the rest of the Pick Up Artist Season 2, and doing more of these recaps.  What did you guys think?  Leave your thoughts in this thread.

So if you’re a follower of the blog, you’ll know that I’ve been critical of Stephane over at Ideagasms since, oh, it began.  I’ve just had ay too many people I like and trust tell me about how the guy lied and screwed them over to actually believe Stephane is in this business to actually help other people as opposed to creating a cult for himself.

In one of my early podcasts, you can see where I expose most of his lies during an interview with Barry Kirkey.  (Its not one of my better podcasts, but whatever.  The point is to get the truth out there.)

Anyway, today I get an email from a reader named Lor who informs me of some major drama going on over at Ideagasms.  It seems more and more of the cult has stopped drinking the kool-aid, and Stephane is banning them to keep them from speaking out against his teachings.

But these “Ex-IGs” aren’t staying quiet.  In fact, they’ve created their own forum and Facebook Group to expose the truth about Stephane, and boy, is it not pretty!

Check out what David B., the creator of the Facebook Group, has to say about his experiences with Stephane…

David B. writes:
Ideagasms Exposed!
An Insider’s Story of the Journey Through Stephane Land

This is an honest account of my experience with the organization known as Ideagasms, and its leader, Stephane Hemon. This could be classified as an “expose” of sorts, since it contains a lot of information that’s less than flattering. However, my intention is not to harm or demean anyone, but simply to speak about something that needs to be spoken of. People have a right to be informed.

This post is also for Ideagasms members who have been wondering where the “ex-IG” forum is since they’ve heard rumors about it, but have been unable to find it because of Stephane’s prohibition of our links.

To the moderators here: I completely understand and respect the goals of this forum (success with women), as well as your right to moderate it how you wish in order to facilitate those goals. Please understand that part of success is about avoiding pitfalls, and I’m posting this to inform people about one of those. Please let this message stay up. By allowing it to reach people, you may be helping to steer them away from a very dark, lonely, and frustrating road.

Ok, so here’s my story.

When I first discovered Ideagasms, it was in its infancy. Steph was just an average dude with some modest insight into the pickup world, trying to make a living out of it. His ideas concerning spiritual topics and how they relate to pickup intrigued me, so I read all his newsletters, and signed up on his forum as soon as he started it. I soon became the most prolific poster, earning a wide degree of admiration from the other members through my lengthy and entertaining field reports. Within just a couple months, Steph made me the admin of the forum.

I felt that he was honest in the beginning, and genuinely trying to help people. He didn’t make himself out to be anything special, beyond a regular guy with some skills to teach. But as with so many things, what starts out as a good intention can quickly become obscured when power is involved.

After a few months, he started to change the structure of his posts and newsletters, taking out what genuine insight he had, and replacing it with boasts about his accomplishments. He started talking more and more about how good his game is, and started using labels such as “best PUA in the world” to describe himself. Perhaps it was due to our youthful naivete, or our eagerness to believe someone had finally found all the answers; but for whatever the reason, I and many others bought into it, and heaped praise on him. Thus began a cycle of him boasting outlandish (and as we would later find out, extremely exaggerated) claims about his skills, and forum members blindly worshipping him for it – a pattern that would only intensify as time went on.

At this time (around the beginning of 2006), he began to delve headfirst into some really freaky “New Age” stuff that would make even a messianic cult leader blush. Now I happen to enjoy a lot of new agey concepts, I’m no atheist – but he took it to such an extreme that I’m almost surprised to still be alive. He claimed he was going to achieve something called “Ascension” – a state in which a person evolves to the point that they have no more issues in life, no more karma, and their soul walks out of their body and gains the ability to manifest any physical object they desire (e.g. gold, food, women, a new body), fly to other galaxies and back, and live the rest of their life in a constant state of orgasm. He claimed he was going to do it by the end of 2008, and that if we followed him, we would be able to do so as well. Most of us would go in 2012, but a special few of his closest, most devoted students, might be able to make it by his side in 2008. To grant credibility to these claims, he cited the guidance of a reclusive, enigmatic “aunt”, who was supposedly one of the top 10 or 20 spiritual people in the whole world. She never communicated to anyone except through him, yet that didn’t stop her from giving us remote “past life readings” for $30 a pop – readings which were rife with duplications, historical inaccuracies, and contradictions. In the spring of that year, he stopped talking about her, and largely quieted down on the Ascension talk too- and it wasn’t until I asked him on the phone, “whatever happened to that aunt of yours?”, that he brushed it off by saying she went insane and disappeared. And that was the end of that.

Before I go on, I want to explain one of Stephane’s core psychological tactics that he uses for making people follow him. It’s called “cognitive dissonance.”. Basically, how it works, is he will come out with a new concept – something ridiculous, like tricking a guy into swallowing your cum is a compassionate thing to do (see his “Dragonbutter” story) – and he’ll suffix it with a seemingly innocuous, yet very potent sentence right afterwards:

“Many people won’t be ready to handle this truth.”
“You will only agree with this if your heart is open.”
“Only those with high self-esteem will understand what I mean.”

This flies right under the radar, and gets you to think of yourself as “un-evolved” (read: “not as cool”) compared to your peers, who all supposedly have high enough vibrations to agree with him – unless you can manage to somehow buy into his story as well. So with the self-image under threat, the mind will do whatever it needs to in order to protect itself, including altering its belief systems (i.e. Dragonbutter is not cruel, it’s lovely!) to conform with the group, and earn the label “open-hearted” or whatever other label is in question. In this fashion, entire belief systems can be surreptitiously torn down, piece by piece, and replaced with new belief systems, without the believer even realizing what’s happened. If you’re not aware of how this works, it’s only a matter of time before you become ensnared in it – and once in it, it just keeps gathering momentum, because more and more of your self-image is staked on your position in the group. I fell for this big time.

Anyway, back to the story. In June 2006, I visited Montreal, in order to meet the man himself. I ended up staying there the whole summer, in order to learn from him (and besides, Montreal is an awesome city), and it was during this time that I first started to notice that not all was well in Steph-land.

I went out with him 3 or 4 times a week, and began to notice some “inconsistencies” in his claims, to put it mildly. We would be out at a bar, and Ghita would befriend a couple of girls and bring them to our table, introducing them to Steph. Then they would continue to talk to Ghita, while Steph sipped his beer and chatted with the guys. They might have given him an occasional sidelong glance or nod of acknowledgment, but overall they paid little attention to him, or any of us. But then in the field report the next day, it would be quite different, with Steph claiming “all 4 girls were hardcore into me, shaking and quivering from my presence, dripping wet from the sound of my voice, my game is #1 in the world, im the best PUA in the world, no one else has my skills, no one can do what I do, I’m the best, I’m the greatest, blah blah blah.”

There were times when he’d play pool at the bar. Occasionally he’d make a difficult shot, and a few people standing nearby would clap. But in the field report, it became something like “half the BAR was cheering me on.” These types of exaggerations were not isolated instances – they were patterns, and they still are, as he continues them to this day.

And the most telling evidence of all, is the fact that I’ve never seen him approach a girl – ever. I asked him so many times to demonstrate his skills, just once, and he outright refused, claiming that he “paid his dues” by training Ghita to pick up for him, and therefore doesn’t have to do it himself anymore. I have never seen him interact with a girl for more than 30 seconds, other than Ghita, despite hanging out with him for hundreds of hours in a city filled to the brim with beautiful women.

Here’s a funny story. After a while, my requests must have gotten annoying to him, so he grudgingly agreed to demonstrate an approach. So he bade me to follow him through the bar until he found a chick to talk to. I stuck by him for about 20 minutes, until finally the normal course of events got us seperated. Then about a half an hour later, I heard a voice behind me – it was Steph. “Did you see? Did you see???? Whaaat? You weren’t looking??? I did an approach!! Fuck, you didn’t see?”

This happened more than once. Eventually I gave in to the reality that I would never see Stephane Hemon talk to a girl. Only a few people I know of have seen him interact with girls at all, (nevermind approach, just interact), and not surprisingly, they report that he comes off creepy - alienating them within minutes, if not seconds. He himself admits this to a degree, rationalizing it as the fault of the girls, saying they just couldn’t handle his high amount of “Light.”

At the same time, in my own life, his methods were causing my already shaky success with women to plummet into depths I never imagined possible. I don’t want to go into just how bad it was, but it was somewhere around “absolute zero”. And Steph helped me rationalize it by saying things like “don’t worry man, these girls are just afraid of your Light. They can’t handle you, and that’s why they’re running away – they’re afraid. Just keep doing what you’re doing, and eventually you’ll find a girl whose heart is open enough to appreciate you.” So I kept going.

I wrote numerous field reports detailing my adventures in Montreal, praising Steph’s methods. From my reports, it would have seemed that I was doing really well, and success was juuuuuuuust around the corner. But inside, my doubts were growing. I didn’t want to keep doing stuff that wasn’t working, but at the same time I didn’t want to risk rejection from the group if I challenged the leader or his doctrines. Ideagasms had become cultified, with some people getting banned for being overly vocal in their disagreements, or having too much praise for a rival teacher or method. As the admin of the forum, it was too much to risk, especially since I was the one doing the bannings. 

So that fall I went back to college for my last semester. During this time, I stopped praising Steph and started posting about my own theories and discoveries. I also started dropping hints about my dissatisfaction with the leader and his teachings, saying as much as I could without directly challenging him. Steph grew more distant, and more reluctant to talk to me. In December I went right back up to Montreal, planning to live there permanently due to the merits of the city itself, more so than it’s status as the capital of Ideagasms. I had pretty much dropped out of the cult in all but name, and the desire began growing to speak out openly.

After a few nights out with the “gang” (Steph and his band of male groupies who follow him around, supplicating to him and giving him rockstar social proof that he uses to gain what little attention he can from girls), and seeing him do some really nasty things (such as sticking around a group of hapless Christian girls from Alabama for a whole night, ostracizing them for their beliefs and encouraging me and the gang to join him when they wanted nothing to do with any of us, as well as him laughing at homeless people, throwing a beer bottle down to try to shatter it on the bar floor, getting his Ascension-bound spiritual ass shitfaced six nights in a row, and other stuff I won’t get into), I had had enough.

Finally, I publicly questioned him on his forum. I asked him how he can keep telling me to use the same methods, if they obviously aren’t working. And he banned me just for that.

I didn’t know what to do, so I apologized, and he let me back on the forum. My drive towards honesty once again getting the better of me, I then wrote a post about how people are hero-worshipping him, and urging them to stop doing it. I was banned again, and he pretty much hasn’t talked to me since.

After that happened, a friend let me read the forum through his account, and I watched it degenerate further and further. He began cracking down more than ever on dissenters and those who started waking up. Whenever someone would poke their head above the clouds and ask him a serious question, or point out flaws in his doctrine in any way, he banned them immediately. Dozens of people were banned in a period of just a few months. Then came one night, which we’re calling “the midnight massacre”, where he banned 12 people all at once, under the pretense of “raising the energy vibration of the forum.” So that’s when we decided that this guy has to be exposed. And we started our own forum.

Sadly, most of the people there are not going anywhere, and there is no way for them to realize it because the chorus of conformity is so loud and so insulated that there’s no way for any contrary idea to come in and interrupt it. As soon as someone realizes his methods don’t work, he bans them before they get a chance to tell others their thoughts. He has a team of 5 or 6 followers who scan the forum all day long, deleting and banning anything that resembles criticism in the slightest degree. People believe his claims of superpowers and of being “the most successful human being on the planet” (real quote), not because he’s particularly persuasive about it, but rather because he censors any voice that doesn’t agree with it.

In the last six months, he has been delving into the writings of an obscure, kooky “scientist” named David Hawkins, whose primary claim to fame is that he has discovered a bullet-proof system for determining “absolute truth”, which basically involves assigning a number (1 to 1000) to a particular person, thought, or idea, with 1 being the darkest, most untrue, and 1000 being absolute light and truth. It’s no surprise that he calibrates himself and Ghita in the 600’s and 700’s, his followers mostly in the 400’s and 500’s, non-followers in the 200’s and 300’s, and critics (such as us) in the 100’s. With this system, he categorically justifies anything he wants to.

Most of his posts now are simply about “reaching a higher numerical level”, and his forum has turned into a spiritual penis-size contest of aspiring calibraters, trying to claim the highest numerical value for themselves that they can get away with and have others believe. To call it a keyboard jockey’s paradise would be an understatement. Relationships and sexuality are rarely discussed anymore, except for the purpose of justifying a higher calibration. Most field reports read like missionary diaries, detailing how the gospel was brought to the heathens. One structure that seems to be quite popular, is as follows (paraphrasing, of course):

“Hey guys! I went out in a state of 500, pitied all the low-vibing girls who were stuck in the 300’s, tried to help them ‘raise up their level’ but my help was denied, and so, despite having a girl who was ‘totally into me’, I had to do the ‘integrous’ thing, and ‘disqualify’ her.”

Needless to say, it doesn’t work in actually improving their ability to relate to people, or women. On the contrary, they’re being taught to back themselves into corners, to burn bridges, and to reject more and more of the world, under the pretense that it’s all beneath them. It’s really just a defense mechanism to justify loneliness, to make it seem noble and desirable since they’re at a loss to overcome it - but no one is allowed to suggest this. In fact, one of Steph’s closest confidantes, his chief “Calibrater”, got banned just a few days ago for making this very observation.

I don’t doubt that most of them are very frustrated on the inside. I know what it’s like to be in pain, while wearing a mask on the outside that says things are wonderful and Ascension is right around the corner. But he keeps on dangling the carrot for them, and they remain distracted.

“Hey, who cares, sex isn’t that good for you anyway, it’ll detract from your spiritual ascension process. Would you rather bounce up and down on a bed and trade body juices, or raise your consciousness to *700* and beyond? I just checked my calibration of you, and you made a big jump recently. Only a few more weeks and you should be at 650! 700 isn’t far away!”

I wonder how long it can continue? I suppose each person has a limit to how much they can take, and once they pass it, they leave. But there are always more people waiting in the wings, and the cycle continues, just with new faces. We, his ex-students, want to put a stop to the cycle, but unfortunately there’s no way to reach through his tough curtain of censorship. That’s why we’re posting here – to maybe reach a few people.

The censorship itself is complete. He outright condemns the idea of free speech – openly. He says freedom of speech is just an excuse for people to say negative things and lower the vibration of the group. “Doubt”, he says, is a dark energy that reeks of ego. “Opinions” are worthless ego-creations, designed to plant “untruths” in people’s minds. When he bans people, he often reminds them that skepticism calibrates below 200, and the forum calibrates above 600, and the discrepancy means that they’re “sabotaging his mission.”

Fuckin crazy, if you ask me.

As for our forum, he bans anyone who even speaks about it. All you have to do is ask, “hey, I heard there’s an Ex-IG forum out there somewhere, does anyone have the link?”, and you’re kicked out. He even has moles on our forum, trying to discover which of the people there still have accounts on his forum, so he can ban them.

Not long after we started it, it began to gain momentum as more and more disallusioned Ideagasms members joined up, eager for a chance to discuss Stephane’s ideas without fear of censorship. Steph made a shoddy attempt to assuage his followers’ growing sense of doubt by debunking our “grievances”, skipping over most of the important ones and using red herrings and straw-man arguments to make us look bad – not to mention falling back on his “calibration system” as a last resort to prove that we were wrong and he was right. He also made up lies about me and the other founders, which we have no way of responding to on his forum.

Recently he discovered a new tactic that’s quite sneaky: banning people without actually deleting their account. Now if you cross him, he will just change your password so you can’t log in – and to other members, it will appear as if all is peachy and no one’s been kicked out. Brilliant move, if I may say so myself.

Oh, and then there are the pills.

Stephane is claiming that he has a secret batch of pills – yes, pills – sitting in his cupboard, which can cure any disease (HIV, cancer, diabetes, kidney stuff, everything), sculpt any body without effort, and yes, even enlarge your penis (you saw that coming, didn’t you?), which were provided to him secretly by an anonymous, renegade “nano-scientist.” He claims he is one of the very few people on earth with the priviledge of having access to these revolutionary new pills, and for $1,000 a month, he can hook you up with a regimen. As we speak, he is supposedly taking these pills, turning his flabby body into Arnold Schwarzenegger’s. However, there’s just one caveat - the pills won’t work if you “don’t believe in them.” If you take them with “skepticism”, don’t be surprised if they fail to transform you. His actual post can be read on the Ex-IG forum.

Only one person in the whole group had the courage to kindly request that Steph provide evidence of his claims. Steph responded by accusing him of “trying to drag everyone down”, and of spreading the dreaded vibration of “doubt”, which as we know, calibrates below 200, and he banned the guy.

Here’s an assortment of nice little quotations from Stephane:

-“Freedom of speech is of no value. If I were to allow people to post anything they wanted, this forum would turn into the next mASF with people posting darkness, misogyny, arrogant positionalities, ego ego ego.” (Feb 23, 2008)

-“Then you have the greeks and italians. I group them into one pile of euro-trash.” (Feb 24, 2008).

-“Latino chicks, from brazil, panama, whatever. Macho, annoying, stupid, shallow, tough bitches who fly off the handle and have emotional outbursts for no apparent reason.”

-“Then there’s the jews, who secretly think they are special. Yes I’m generalizing, and no I’m not anti-semitic. But the Jews are the biggest poor me victims to ever live on earth, as far as i can tell.”

-“Yes, a lot of people would like “free spech” so they could come on here and post a bunch of fear-based crap and lower the vibe of IG forums.”

-“Gay pride is nothing but arrogance, and so most of them just wind up getting AIDS.”

-“About the chakras, I know what I know… So, you not seeing the value is obviously pure ego pride, which is an energy not welcome on this forum.”

-“Just know that I’m a lot quicker than you are, and my wisdom exceeds yours significantly. At the end of our debate, I’ll need you to say, “Thanks Stephane, for helping to raise my consciousness” – AND, you’ll also have to buy the GTP.”

-“The real answer is they have student/teacher syndrome, in which jealousy and pride prevent them from doing anything other than pathetic little attempts to prove to themselves that they are more evolved than I am. It’s fallacious.”

“The more enlightened i become, the greater your chances of getting there too, just by
virtue of being in a room with me. I know the way out of hell.”

-“It’s up to you to choose to be humble about it and view me as your Teacher, with a capitol “T”. I have earned that level of respect and that title.”

-“I recently made the jump to 602, which is the first stages of true Enlightenment. I am completely un-identified from my mind and body, and could literally choose to walk out of this body and leave for good. I have no more human karma, as i have mastered the linear world of form.”

“My advice to you: SHUT THE FUCK UP.” (April 5, 2008).

* * * * *

So there you have it. That’s my story, and that’s what’s going on behind the doors of the world’s most highly evolved teacher of relationships and spirituality. You can do what you want with this information. If you still want to investigate him, (perhaps you have an overpowering sense of curiosity), go ahead, but be very careful - he is a master NLP user, extremely effective at reframing, rationalizing, and subtle manipulation. If you’re not cautious, you could be helped to several platefuls of mental programming you never signed up for.

He makes liberal use of terms like “love”, “light” and so forth, which might impress a newcomer, but just remember that words are not the same as actions. Some people can preach love and compassion all day long, while in practice suppressing that very thing.

If you’re concerned that Steph may be the only person in the world teaching a blend of pickup and spirituality, rest assured that he’s not. There are many other people on a similar path, and many of the “community” teachers are starting to incorporate more and more of it into their ideas. And ultimately, spirituality is inside you – not outside. It doesn’t come from a guru.

For more information and to discuss this topic, you can visit the Ex-Ideagasmers forum (and this isn’t an advertisement for any products, cause we’re not selling anything). Thanks for reading… and may whatever path you take lead you home.

In addition to all this, it would seem Stephane has also lost his biggest form of social proof - Ghita - very recently.  it would appear that poor girl finally smartened up and dumped his sorry ass.

Check out the email correspondence between David G. and Ghita to confirm the fallout…

Discussion between David G and Ghita:

E-mail sent on august 22nd:

“Hey Ghita, I heard the great news I imagine your having a lot of mixed emotions right now and I guess thats a natural process. Stephane was a nightmare trip that took us along for the ride, we were both YOUNG, NAIVE and UNAWARE. He was older then us and he used our good hearts against us, I cant imagine what you’ve been through up to this point. Just let me know if you want me near and ill be there stay strong Angel and dont be afraid you’ve just entered into your brighter days.

David”

———-

From Ghita Jones (Facebook) August 25 at 7:39pm:

“David,

Stephane and I are no longer together, he did hijack my facebook and my e-mails, I just now got my facebook back, as of 3 min ago.

I read your other e-mails and I don’t know what to tell you, how about..you’re right. About everything.

I’m with my mom and my brother and my cat. A lot of shit went down.

Hope you’re doing alright David.

Sincerely,
Ghita”

So it’s pretty much official - Stephane is a psycho.  Stay away, and buyer beware.

Hey Guys,

Sorry this week’s episode is a bit late.  After getting back into town I had some catching up to do.

Anyway, please enjoy!

Click Here To Download This Week’s Episode

It’s important to LOOK at yourself from time to time, and examine your mission in life.

Of course when we cover all of the psychology of personal growth in my visual system called mindOS, we learn about a little thing psychoanalysts call Observing Ego. This is the ability to take a step outside yourself, look back and judge how you’re doing in your relationships to others. Observing Ego is also the FIRST skill all human beings have to learn in doing ANY personal growth.

In fact, it is IMPOSSIBLE to grow, change, or evolve without this skill. And it is a LEARNED skill very few of us have the fortune or teaching to cultivate.

Many of you have also asked general questions about your missions in life as men. I know it’s a no-brainer that we all have “missions in life,” but really, how much time have you literally spent imagining, planning, plotting, and discussing your personal mission as a man with those who you might consider your teammates? Very few.

There is a term used in self-help circles called a “mastermind group.” To my experience this is a group of guys who support and advise each other on their lives, their projects, and their growth. All of this is a very good thing, and if you look closely at the community of men who get together to learn about what makes women tick, you see this same kind of phenomenon.

I just had an interesting phone conversation with a guy. He found me through the community, and while he claimed that his main problem was the very first steps of relating to women – approach anxiety.

This guy had been through all the bootcamps and seminars out there, and was frustrated in that he still had a problem even going up to women.

The interesting thing is that he had ALSO been to a therapist for “issues” with anxiety and even had some EMDR done for this (a type of therapy that is the world’s top technology in reversing unhealthy belief systems.)

So he took me to task.

“What’s wrong with me?” he said.

I told him that maybe there really isn’t that much so wrong. Certainly, EMDR could work away at negative beliefs about approaching women, but when it comes right down to it, a moment of COURAGE is absolutely necessary. In that moment there is no one to hold your hand and do it FOR you. YOU have to be the one to take action.

I told him that I sensed that he was falling into this pit of “thinking his way out of anxiety.” Which led me to propose what clinical professionals have all kinds of complicated language to explain. What ultimately I would have to simplify for him (and you) would be this:
THINKING cannot be a cure for anxiety. ACTION is.

The conversation with this guy made me think a lot of course, but we can take a little action right here.
What I realized is that he is right about BOTH the deficits of the community AND the deficits in professional counseling fields when it comes to helping MEN SPECIFICALLY.

Neither can be the other, and neither really KNOWS that much about the other.

Where on the one hand, the men’s community has great goals and really is supportive of guys who are ‘good with women’ hanging up a shingle and simply teaching their own homespun way of “being good with women” – what is going on amounts to purchased friendship. At worst, this is like boys teaching boys how to be men.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s great and admirable to help others with whatever great spirit and optimism you have in side. To be sure. But if I personally was going to pay someone a lot of money I would want something that isn’t as easily available as just going out with my male friends who are pretty good with communicating to women. That’s FREE to me and to anyone who has guy friends or wingmen buddies.

Why should I have to pay for that?

So I had to agree with this guy’s frustration. You can’t pick up books like The Idiot’s Guide to Psychology, and in so doing, envision yourself a psychologist.

Where our conversation got interesting though was when we then also turned to his own therapy and counseling. Websites are not the proper place to substitute for real, bona fide therapy or medical care in person. No way. There’s a reason it’s done in an office and a bigger reason you have to be licensed and accredited to do it. It takes skill, training and experience with REAL patients and cases.

However, this guy was also right that my own professional field tends to use a bunch of clunky terminology and overcomplicated systems and processes that get bogged down in bureaucracy. It’s a Byzantine system of delivery that is nearly impossible to introduce new innovations and ideas to.

What’s worse, the conversation with this guy made it ever more clear to me that in thinking of all the training and experience professionals get in their educations, there really is no specialized field called “men’s psychology.” My own field has a way of excluding men or even treating them as if the same systems and treatments that “work for women” ought to be equally as useful to them.

This is just not true. Men and women are quite equal, and yet different in how their psychology works, and what it needs to feel completely passionate about life.

Many millions of men are suffering for lack of specific attention to their unique needs, a call that to a large degree, my own professional field has not answered.

To realize that it is not only useful, needed, and beneficial, but crucial, primal, and urgent for a man to learn how to be effective with women – well my own field is hampered by stigmas and political correctness as to whether men REALLY need such a thing. They simply look the other way and mutter “men should be able to just figure that out. It makes them look like misogynists if they try teaching or learning that anyway.

Enter the community of men becoming a marketplace.

So on the one hand you have the utterly untrained trying to do the job of professionals (and failing miserably as in the case of this gentleman), and on the other hand you have professionals looking the other way and ignoring a very serious public mental health problem in society.

Add to all this that both essentially ignore the deep importance of having a mission in life as a man, which we thoroughly and scientifically address in my Mature Masculine Power range of products, and you see that even with both the community and therapists out there, we STILL have a massive unmet need to meet.

Which I think solidified for me today a little refinement of my own personal mission. I realized that I am a translator and interpreter between these two worlds – the men’s community and mainstream academia.

In fact, what we teach you at my website for men and the forums there amounts to an uncharted territory that truly blends the two.

One thing the guy I talked to really needed was an understanding of what it really means to be a real man, to go through “initiation.”

In talking about this we also discovered the importance in his life (and any man’s life) of having a TEAM of men who all have similar missions, and he was blown away by how my KWML tactics (King, Warrior, Magician and Lover) don’t just address spotting the right women, but also represents a technology of FRIENDSHIP – how friendship literally makes the world go ‘round, empowers not only your relationships to women, but brings together the very team you need to truly and realistically reach your life’s goals.

Your mission as a man.

The gentleman above learned that in getting COMPETENT professional help, and cultivating friends with whom to go face his fears, what was missing was a sense of “permission” to approach women. Now he could give HIMSELF permission.

This kind of insight only comes from the academic world which sees many hundreds of thousands of patients – but applied in a way that is specific, meant for, and only means something to MEN.

One thing is for sure. I stand behind a statement I make at every seminar: THERE IS A SOLUTION TO EVERY PROBLEM. No matter your problem, you can always refresh yourself as you focus again on your mission in life. Women sense it within you, and you will start to also.

Hey guys,

I’ve been travelling this week because my little brother gets married tomorrow!  I’m very excited to see that my little bro has found such a fantastic wife and she’s a real welcome addition to the family.

So between the constant traveling and celebration, I haven’t had much time to update the site as I would like, which is why you haven’t seen much new material on the site this week.  But I was still able to get a podcast together, just for you guys.

Check it out here:

Click Here To Download The Audio

Hopefully by next week, we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled updates.

There’s a term out there that applies to newbies.  It’s called “Paralysis of Analysis”.  When I first started I definitely fell into this trap.  I’d read everything there is to read, and post every place I could find, but rarely go out and do any field work.  Now I find it irritating to force myself  to sit at my computer and post anywhere, since it takes time away from the time that could be spent in the field, developing social circles, or school and other life building goals.

Many new guys fall into this trap yet many find there way out again and begin going out in the field as I did.  There seems to actually be a natural correlation.  Those who stay in the community for 3 months will keep it going and those who stay for 5 months usually have begun really learning from the field.  This post isn’t for the new guys though, (sorry I’ll make one for you guys later on), this post is for those intermediate guys.  The guy’s who have taken the game seriously and have gone out again and again into the field and still have yet to begin seeing the results that they’ve been waiting for.  This post is for every guy who has asked the following question…

“What do I need to do to make that change and get myself to the next level?”

The answer? Become Your Own Guru

Have you been in this game for over a year and a half and still not getting the results? Be your own guru.

Do you go out practically every night yet still see only mediocre improvement, if any, when looking back over the months or years? Be your own guru.

Are all your PUA friends progressing while you feel perpetually stuck on a plateau? That’s right, be your own guru.

See I began noticing a few months back that every time I went out with my community wings that a familiar pattern began to happen.  Before every sarge we’d discuss what Guru X thinks and why some particular way is better because Guru Y said so.  Then during the sarge I’d notice that every community guy had a tendency to talk about game instead of actually doing it.  I did this myself for a while but finally broke out of that mindset, even so many wings would try and talk about it regardless.  Finally at the end of the night we’d have a debrief where I’d be told how something I did was wrong because of  something Guru Z said and then we’d debate who made the most sense out of Guru’s A, B, and C.

Everything I did in field was the result of something some OTHER GUY thought was right and taught it to be done.  It was maddening to see all the different styles and methods out there, and try and figure out which guy I should listen to.  Hoping that the next product from Guru X would finally be the missing piece I’ve always needed.  It got to the point where I felt almost everything I learned about pick up could be debated because of the different beliefs and ideas of Gurus.  Now that I look back it was a new form of “Paralysis of Analysis” all over again but not quite, it wasn’t exactly guru worship either.  It was something I’ll call “Guru Overload”.

PUA’s with Guru Overload can be going into the field nonstop, the problem however is that they keep trying to juggle all these different ideas out there and use stuff from other people without ever trying to figure things out for themselves.  Instead of using the community as a reference point to make sense of their own findings they never try and make any of their own findings at all and just keep practicing the next shiny idea in the community.  Should we be trying to DHV or is the answer simply to bring the Nimbus?!

I finally had my click one day and decided that from now on I would determine what’s best in field, not any other guru, unless it made sense for what I personally have been finding.  When I did this my game improved dramatically.  My wings would say “Why are you doing that? Guru X says you should do this instead.” My reply to this every time was “Ah, but I say I should be doing that.”  The thing is most of you already know the answers, or can work it out yourselves, but there’s the fear of “I’m not good enough and need to keep seeing what others think I should do.”

For those intermediate guys.  You know the theory, you understand how this works, and anything you don’t know you understand how to figure it out and learn from yourself.  Here it is finally plain as day, do exactly that.  Be your own guru already.  Socially experiment and stop doing what you think you SHOULD do or is NEEDED and instead begin doing what YOU feel is right and make your own assumptions on things.  This doesn’t mean forget about ideas and material out there that can help though, instead learn to appreciate it on a much more meaningful level.  Instead of it being something for you to shape yourself to, it can now become something that you may or may not incorporate into your own individual style.

I’m not going to tell you what needs to be done, or the next best thing for your game, or even a new method that you have to learn…how about you tell me instead?

Hope this helps guys,

-Jarett aka Psych

Hey guys,

Sorry for the lack of updates this week.  Things have been pretty hectic with the new product release and my birthday and all.

This week’s episode of the BootyCast has special guest Scott McKay on.  You can check out his new Leading Man site here.

Click Here To Download The Show