how to start an interesting conversation with a woman over text

how to start an interesting conversation with a woman over text

how to start an interesting conversation with a woman over text

Listen.

Why else are you on this earth? You cannot ask good questions without listening and observing and learning about what another individual cares about. You cannot have a good conversation without good questions. So you see, listening is the foundation for the entire damn carnival ride.

 

Start things off to invite her to talk.

Pay attention to the scenario, and mold your invitation to the circumstances. Don’t, by way of instance, ask her a random astronomy question when she’s shopping for shoes. Here are a different ways to accomplish this:

If you want to strike up a conversation with a girl you don’t know, consider making a recommendation. For example, if you see a gorgeous girl at a coffee shop, and she looks undecided about her order, then recommend your favorite drink or tell her that you’re going to guess exactly what she wants just by looking at her.

If you’re in school together, then make a comment about classes or discuss your extra curricular activities. If you’re working together, then begin a chat about some workplace news, or ask for her help with something that you’re working on.

For example, ask her to watch your stuff (like your phone) while you go get her something to drink. Girls will feel more interested in you if they’ve done a favor for you. It will also make them feel trustworthy and maybe even curious.

Pay her a compliment. If she looks great that day or if she said something amazing during class, then tell her so. Compliment her hair, or her smile, or her dress. Make sure that your compliment is genuine and not phony.

Think back to the last time you had a conversation with a girl you were interested in.

Let me ask you something… what were you focusing on the MOST? Was it:

Wondering if you’ll get her phone number?
Attempting to make a good impression, so she’ll like you?
Doing your best to seem confident and smooth?

I have been thinking about this a lot now, and I understood that one of the biggest mistakes us guys make is that we’re too focused on “what she thinks of us” or “if we’re going to get what we want (phone number, date, gender, etc)”… that we completely forget the purpose of the conversation, which is…

Getting to know the person in front of you!

It sounds easy, but if you remember this when you’re in the real world talking to a real girl, you’ll loosen up, and begin genuinely try to get to know her, and she’ll FEEL that.

If she feels like you are actually interested in her, she’ll become considerably more interested in YOU. I’ve got a few excellent tips for you to use next time you talk to a nice looking girl.

Focus on body language.

For yourself, use great eye contact, sit up straight and smile warmly. When you do these things, she’ll feel as though you’re focused on her.

Watch the way she uses her body. If she makes eye contact with you, lightly touches your arm or leans in toward you as you’re talking, then you can feel confident that she’s into you.

Be sure to’re projecting good body language, too. Don’t cross your arms, tap your feet, sigh or groan audibly. All these tics are signs that you’re bored or dissatisfied with her.

If she’s constantly looking away, fiddling with her beverage or her jewellery or looking like she can not wait to escape, then you might be losing her attention. You can try saying something like, “Are you having a bad day? You look as if you’re a million miles away.” Or, if the conversation hasn’t been all that interesting to start with, just politely say, “Nice talking to you” and walk away.

Keep the conversation light.

Don’t delve into any controversial subjects or anything that she may find uncomfortable. In addition, don’t gossip about other people, because she may believe that you’re not genuinely wonderful.

Use your sense of humor. Don’t dive in with a really off-color joke or something that could be shocking to her. Keep it light and test the waters before you say anything that she might think is mean or offensive.

Practice funny stories. More than simply jokes, people love hearing stories about funny things that happened to you. So keep an eye on funny or entertaining things that happened to you and rehearse the story you wish to tell with friends.

Know your pop culture. Keep up on the latest celebrity news and what’s new in movies and music. When you know what’s happening out there, you’ll always have something light to talk about. Additionally, you might just impress her with the number of things you know.

how to start an interesting conversation with a woman over text

Talk Some about Yourself

There is this popular idea that to keep a conversation going with a girl you just met, you need to ask her lots of questions, because everybody loves to talk about themselves, and not talk too much about yourself, because you’ll appear self-absorbed.

Because in practice, this idea rarely holds water.

You want to realize that when you’re talking with a girl you just met, to her, you’re mostly a stranger. She knows almost nothing about you. And a girl isn’t gonna feel comfortable answering a long line of personal questions from a guy she knows almost nothing about. I can not tell you how many women have confessed this to me.

For this reason it’s important when you’re talking to a woman to unite asking her questions with speaking about yourself. It is this mix of her talking, you talking, her talking some more, you talking some more, that makes the conversation move forward and helps both of you become comfortable with each other. And that’s precisely what you would like.

Typically, you might hesitate to talk about yourself, and as you lack practice, you might not be very good at it either. But this is something that you could only overcome with practice. So try to be more talkative and talk more about yourself. With experience you will get better at it and it will find a lot easier as well.

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how to start an internet conversation with a girl

how to start an internet conversation with a girl

how to start an internet conversation with a girl

Ask her direct questions regarding her personal interests.

Don’t make the mistake of spending too much time talking about “surface level” stuff, like the weather, or the other members of the area, or the band that’s playing.

That kind of conversation is only interesting for the first couple minutes, because she’s waiting for you to take it to the next level.

I know this sounds like common sense, but do you DO it in real life? If you see that she’s wearing an intriguing necklace, ask her about it. If you saw her playing pool before, ask her who taught her how to play.

The point is… you want to discuss personal stuff, not surface level crap. Start with small talk, but move out of it after a few minutes, or she’ll get bored of the conversation (and so will you).

how to start an internet conversation with a girl

Manage Your Anxiety

Guys who wish to learn how to keep a conversation going with a girl typically feel a whole lot of anxiety when talking to girls, or even just considering it. Their heart races, their mind often goes blank, and this naturally makes dialogue difficult.

Virtually every time, this anxiety is the actual root of the problem. Not a lack of conversation skills; or at least, not as much. And if you wanna be able to produce effortless conversation with a girl, you will need to weed out the problem from its root.

To put it differently, you will need to learn how to manage your anxiety around girls, so you can feel at ease talking to any girl. Then you’ll naturally be able to have conversations as long as you desire.

Since this is an intricate topic, I address it separately and in more detail in this special video. I recommend you watch it right now, because in it you’ll learn some of the most powerful data in existence about eliminating conversation anxiety and building conversation confidence. So be sure you watch it.

I know talking to a girl might be tough for you right now. But trust me, this can completely change. Yes, it is going to take some work. You need to learn to deal with your nervousness, and you need to create better conversation habits for yourself.

The good thing is that there are quality resources and specialists ready to assist you on this journey. If you haven’t already, I invite you to join my free social confidence newsletter, and you’ll receive regular advice from me for improving your social confidence and social skills.

how to start an internet conversation with a girl

Don’t ask for a date. Provide a date instead.

You’re not a child who needs to ask permission anymore. If you wish to take a woman out, just let her know that you’re interested in make an offer to spend time together at some place interesting.

A great deal of people make offers to you every day. Here’s an every day example:

When you go through the drive thru at a fast food place, and you order a sandwich, what do you almost ALWAYS hear? Usually you’ll hear something like, “You can upgrade that to a combo meail for only a dollar more. Do you want to do that today?”

It’s kind of the same thing with talking to women.

She’s already purchased the sandwich by having a wonderful conversation with you right now. You can just let her know that you enjoy her company, and you want to offer her a opportunity to continue getting to know each other. If she says no, it doesn’t have anything to do with you as an individual. It’s just not something she’s interested in, just like you’re not interested in purchasing the combo meal sometimes.

Here’s why I bring this up. Those fast food places that offer the combos with each order have dramatically increased their total sales volume by juat making that simple offer.

YOU could do the same thing with your love life!

You could dramatically increase the number of women you date just by offering each one that you’re interested in an opportunity to get to know you even better. If one says no… who cares? The next 2 will say yes. But ALWAYS make the offer.

The 14 year old kid at the drive thru isn’t scared of you saying “No thanks, and you shouldn’t be fearful of some woman saying the exact same thing.

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how to start an internet conversation with a woman

how to start an internet conversation with a woman

how to start an internet conversation with a woman

Latest events

Before you go out tonight, read up on the news today and remain informed on the latest celebrity gossip and entertainment news. You’ll want to pay special attention to the newest celebrity bad behaviour (there’s something new every week). There are many ways to use this. For example, if you see that somebody is overly drunk, you can compare them to the latest celeb spotted falling from a nightclub. She’ll have a laugh, and you’re going to communicate that you get what’s going on in the world and are in the know.

Notice what she gives you.

Here’s what I mean. If, during the conversation, she mentions that she went bowling last week with her very best friend, then you need to ASK her about it.

If she mentions that she went bowling, you could follow up with any of the following questions or remarks:

* Oh that’s cool, I used to bowl in a league. How often do you play?

What other type of things you and your friends to together?

* I think that’s awesome that you like bowling, since it’s one of my favourite things. How long have you been playing?

Remember, take what she gives you, and use it as an entry way into a deeper conversation about personal interests, instead of being stuck in endless small talk (which she doesn’t want either).

Maintain the eye always on her.

Don’t be cagey about turning the spotlight on you. Instead, focus it mainly on her.

Turn off your cell phone while you’re having a conversation with a woman. If you go out to take a call, you might return and discover that she’s moved on.

If you run into friends, introduce your friends to her but remain focused on your own conversation. Try to send nonverbal signals to your friends letting them know that they need to speak with you another time.

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how to start an msn conversation with a girl

how to start an msn conversation with a girl

how to start an msn conversation with a girl

Focus on her, not you.

If she chooses not to respond to you, it is not about you. It’s about her. She probably isn’t looking for anyone, has her own insecurities, or isn’t interested.

If you’re focusing on what you’re going to say next or the thoughts in your head, she’ll pick up on the fact that she does not have 100% of your attention. Why? You’re too focused on yourself.

The point is, if you’re both listening to your own thoughts or you get distracted by something else, then you aren’t having a conversation with someone else in the first place!

The mere idea of having to initiate conversation with others, let alone a woman, is draining, intimidating, and daunting for introverts. This isn’t bad, it’s just the way it is. Just remember, half of the population are introverts, so it can be equally tough for women to respond back. It is doable and is easiest to do when you are doing things that you like doing.

Keep the conversation light.

Don’t delve into any controversial subjects or anything that she may find uncomfortable. Also, don’t gossip about other people, because she may believe that you’re not genuinely wonderful.

Use your sense of humor. Don’t dive in with a really off-color joke or something which could be shocking to her. Keep it light and test the waters before you say anything that she might think is mean or offensive.

Practice funny stories. More than simply jokes, people love hearing stories about funny things that happened to you. So keep an eye on funny or entertaining things that happened to you and rehearse the story you want to tell with friends.

Know your pop culture. Keep up on the latest celebrity news and what’s new in movies and music. When you know what’s going on out there, you will always have something light to talk about. Additionally, you might just impress her with the amount of things you know.

Observe and critique the last guy to chat her up

If you spot a person who fails horribly while trying to pick up on a woman, approach her shortly after he leaves. Ask her: “So how did he do?” She should find a laugh out of this. Critique his attempt, his style, body language, etc.. This communicates all the right things, and is a simple in for you to shine with good conversation, and a playful, winning personality.

how to start an msn conversation with a girl

Ask her some questions.

You need to show her that you’re interested in her while at the same time deciding whether she’s really worth your interest. [2] A great question will make her think, laugh, and like you, all at exactly the exact same time.

Avoid “yes” and “no” questions. A question like, “Did you enjoy the new movie that came out this weekend?” will get you either a “yes” or a “no” but may not launch a meaningful conversation. Instead, ask her what other movies she’s seen and why she likes them. This sort of question will find a much longer answer from her.

Rather than waiting for her to ask you questions, be proactive and do the asking first. You need a balanced conversation in which you find out what she’s all about while also sharing parts of yourself.

Find out what she’s passionate about. If you like this girl, then chances are you find something about her really fascinating. Ask her why she likes what she likes, or why she thinks what she thinks. Ask her something that you genuinely wish to learn more about instead of asking questions just to get her to talk. If you’re insincere, she’ll know, and your conversation will be dead in the water.

People like to talk about themselves. If you find out what she’s passionate about, the conversation will go naturally and easily. This is the easiest way to construct a connection.

Find out Her Interests

Guys often have a difficult time knowing what to talk about with a girl because they don’t know her interests.

One way to solve this predicament is by trial and error. You start speaking about a certain topic that you think she may be considering, and if she does indeed appear interested, you keep talking about it. If not, you move to another topic, and another, and another, wanting to find those that she can relate to. And this is a natural part of a regular conversation.

However, there is an even better way to manage this predicament. Early in the conversation, you ask the girl a simple, straightforward question that elicits her interests. I typically like to ask something like: “So, what do you like to do?” or “Tell me: what are your interests?”

She’ll mention a few of them, then I know what I can talk about that she’ll enjoy. I then identify among those topics the ones I enjoy too, and I understand these are directions I can confidently take the conversation in. This is the best way to keep a conversation going with a girl by finding common ground.

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how to start an msn conversation with a woman

how to start an msn conversation with a woman

how to start an msn conversation with a woman

Focus on body language.

For yourself, use great eye contact, sit up straight and smile warmly. When you do these things, she’ll feel as if you’re focused on her.

Watch the way she uses her body. If she makes eye contact with you, lightly touches your arm or leans in toward you while you’re talking, then you can feel confident that she’s into you.

Make sure you’re projecting great body language, too. Don’t cross your arms, tap your feet, sigh or groan audibly. All these tics are signs that you’re bored or dissatisfied with her.

If she’s constantly looking away, fiddling with her drink or her jewelry or looking like she can’t wait to escape, then you might be losing her attention. You can try saying something like, “Are you having a bad day? You look as if you’re a million miles away.” Or, if the conversation hasn’t been all that interesting to begin with, just politely say, “Nice talking to you” and walk away.

Ask her opinion

One of the most effective ways to start a conversation is to ask her opinion on something. This works especially well with groups of women, and with a topic they would love to talk about. The important thing to remember is to make it look like you are actually interested in getting someone’s opinion. “My friends and I disagree on something, perhaps you can help answer this. What’s up with that?” If the question is engaging enough, women will jump at the chance to answer.

how to start an msn conversation with a woman

Current events

Before you go out tonight, read up on the news today and stay informed on the latest celebrity gossip and entertainment news. You’ll want to pay special attention to the newest celebrity bad behaviour (there’s something new every week). There are a number of ways to use this. By way of instance, if you see that somebody is overly drunk, you can compare them to the latest celeb spotted falling out of a nightclub. She’ll have a laugh, and you’re going to communicate that you get what’s happening in the world and are in the know.

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how to start an online conversation with a girl

how to start an online conversation with a girl

how to start an online conversation with a girl

Ask her some questions.

You want to show her that you’re interested in her while at the same time deciding whether she’s really worth your interest. [2] A excellent question will make her think, laugh, and like you, all at exactly the same time.

A question like, “Did you enjoy the new movie that came out this weekend?” This sort of question will find a much longer answer from her.

Girls often like guys to make the first move. Rather than waiting for her to ask you questions, be proactive and do the asking first. You need a balanced conversation in which you find out what she’s all about while also sharing parts of yourself.

Find out what she’s passionate about. If you like this girl, then odds are you find something about her really fascinating. Ask her why she likes what she likes, or why she thinks what she thinks. Ask her something that you genuinely want to learn more about rather than asking questions simply to get her to talk. If you’re insincere, she’ll know, and your conversation will be dead in the water.

People like to talk about themselves. If you find out what she’s passionate about, the conversation will go naturally and easily. This is the easiest way to construct a connection.

Notice what she gives you.

Here’s what I mean. If, during the conversation, she mentions that she went bowling last week with her very best friend, then you need to ASK her about it. She’s giving you a way to ask her about her personal interests, and she’s hoping you’ll pick up on that, and run with it.

If she mentions that she went bowling, you could follow up with any of the following questions or remarks:

* Oh that’s cool, I used to bowl in a league.

* Who do you usually go bowling with? What other type of things you and your friends to together?

* I think that’s awesome that you like bowling, since it’s one of my favourite things.

Remember, take what she gives you, and use it as an entry way into a deeper conversation about personal interests, rather than being stuck in endless small talk (which she doesn’t want either).

Latest events

Before you go out tonight, read up on the news today and remain informed on the latest celebrity gossip and entertainment news. This is perfect material for conversations. You’ll want to pay special attention to the latest celebrity bad behaviour (there’s something new every week). There are a number of ways to use this. By way of example, if you see that somebody is overly drunk, you can compare them to the most recent celeb spotted falling from a nightclub. She’ll have a laugh, and you’ll communicate that you get what’s going on in the world and are in the know.

Maintain the attention always on her.

Do not be cagey about turning the spotlight on you. Instead, concentrate it mainly on her.

Turn off your cell phone while you’re having a conversation with a woman. If you go outside to have a call, you might come back and discover that she’s moved on.

If you run into friends, introduce your friends to her but stay focused on your conversation. Attempt to send nonverbal signals to your friends letting them know that they need to talk to you another time.

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how to start an online conversation with a woman

how to start an online conversation with a woman

how to start an online conversation with a woman

Ask her some questions.

You want to show her that you’re interested in her while at the same time deciding whether she’s really worth your interest. [2] A excellent question will make her think, laugh, and like you, all at exactly the exact same time.

Avoid “yes” and “no” questions. A question like, “Did you enjoy the new movie that came out this weekend?” Instead, ask her what other movies she’s seen and why she likes them. This sort of question will get a much longer answer from her.

Rather than waiting for her to ask you questions, be proactive and do the asking first. You need a balanced conversation in which you find out what she’s all about while also sharing parts of yourself.

If you like this girl, then chances are you find something about her really fascinating. Ask her why she likes what she likes, or why she thinks what she thinks. Ask her something that you genuinely wish to learn more about instead of asking questions simply to get her to talk. If you’re insincere, she’ll know, and your conversation will be dead in the water.

Folks love to talk about themselves. If you find out what she’s passionate about, the conversation will go naturally and easily. This is the easiest way to build a connection.

Be yourself.

We pick up on nonverbal body language faster than we register what you’re saying. This means if you’re only interested in getting a number to find a date, women understand this on a visceral level before they’ve even responded to what you’ve said.

One thing to think about is if you’re only interested in receiving a number, then most women are not interested in you. Women want to feel special. For us to provide you our number or talk to you longer than two minutes, we will need to feel a connection. Even if we’re physically attracted to you, this doesn’t mean we are going to give you our contact details.

If you’re relaxed, being honest, and genuinely interested in what we think and feel, then we may let our guard down long enough to find out who you are as a person too.

If you do approach a woman at a bar or club, then bring a friend.

Broadly , when women go out to a bar or club, they are going out to have time with friends first, and possibly talk to a guy if he shows a genuine interest in her.

Women often look to their best girlfriends to provide a thumb up or down on if a guy looks like a good guy or not. Having a friend along with you decreases anxiety on both sides, because there’s more to talk about, and we don’t feel as though you’re trapping or bearing down on us.

Bear in mind, plenty of times women are only getting together to wind down and spend time with friends. Nightlife is often loud and isn’t the perfect place to have conversations. Sometimes women just want to cut loose and dance — that’s all. Canvassing other individuals in committed relationships, I’ve found most of them met outside of the nightlife.

Focus on her, not you.

If she chooses not to respond to you, it isn’t about you. It’s about her. She probably isn’t searching for anyone, has her own insecurities, or is not interested.

If you are focusing on what you’re going to say next or the thoughts in your head, she’ll pick up on the fact that she does not have 100% of your attention. Why? You’re too focused on yourself.

The point is, if you’re both listening to your own thoughts or you get distracted by something else, then you aren’t having a conversation with someone else in the first place!

The mere thought of having to initiate conversation with other people, let alone a girl, is draining, intimidating, and daunting for introverts. This isn’t bad, it’s just the way it is. Just remember, half of the population are introverts, so it can be equally hard for women to respond back. It is doable and is easiest to do when you’re doing things that you like doing.

End on a good note if she tells you that she must leave.

Inform her that you enjoyed talking to her and getting to know her. The next morning, send her a text saying that you had a great time, and wish her a fantastic day. You might get another chance at continuing that initial conversation if she texts you back.

A good rule of thumb is to wait at least a day until you call her, particularly if you approached her as a stranger. You don’t want her to think you’re too forward, and you don’t want to appear too needy, so it is ideal to delay for a day.

When you call her, keep things short and sweet. Unless she’s really enjoying the conversation, simply ask her if she’d want to see a movie or go out for coffee and leave it at that.

She might feel a bit weird if you’re pushing really hard and she’s not, so try to get a fantastic balance going.

Focus on body language.

For yourself, use great eye contact, sit up straight and smile warmly. When you do these things, she’ll feel as though you’re focused on her.

Watch the way she uses her entire body. If she makes eye contact with you, lightly touches your arm or leans in toward you as you’re talking, then you can feel confident that she’s into you.

Be sure to’re projecting great body language, too. Don’t cross your arms, tap your feet, sigh or groan audibly. All these tics are signs that you’re bored or dissatisfied with her.

If she’s constantly looking away, fiddling with her beverage or her jewellery or looking like she can not wait to escape, then you may be losing her attention. You can try saying something like, “Are you having a bad day? You look as if you’re a million miles away.” Or, if the conversation hasn’t been all that interesting to begin with, just politely say, “Nice talking to you” and walk away.

Ask open-ended questions.

The difference between a close-ended question and an open-ended question is that if you ask a close-ended question the answer is either yes or no. An open-ended question uses What, When, Where, How and Why, but the purpose behind asking the questions is to elicit someone else’s opinions, thoughts, and feelings.

Before you head out the door, make a list of 5 or 10 things you can talk about — be it current events, politics, sports, or a hobby — and be open to listening and hearing differing opinions.

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how to start an sms conversation with a girl

how to start an sms conversation with a girl

how to start an sms conversation with a girl

Don’t be an ass.

Do not play devil’s advocate unless you are doing it in a sensitive and non-combative way for someone who you know will love it never, ever play devil’s advocate if you don’t even understand what perspective you may be trying to share, and you just need an excuse to irritate someone and act like a dick.

If somebody is describing a specific problem to you, she might or might not want your advice. One way for you to know is to wait for her to throw out a What do you think? or So I wanted to get your opinion. If they don’t ask, she might not want it. It’s quite common for attempts at problem-solving to come out as criticism, blame, or sheer insensitivity; she might just want you to listen. If you’re really dying to weigh in, venture one comment and find out how it’s received. If the other person acts irritated or confused by what you said, that’s a very clear cue not to proceed with five more suggestions. Many a conversation has spiraled out of control–and many a relationship was damaged–because one person is uncomfortable with another individual’s pain or anxiety.

If you’re in distress, those close to you will forgive your explaining the awful situation and expressing your resulting stress. But it’s not something you should unleash on acquaintances.

Stop Romanticizing Women

Almost every guy I know who has trouble keeping conversation going with girls has this strong inclination to romanticize women. They see women as flawless, especially beautiful ones, they think women generally are above them and hard to impress, and they believe they must always say something brilliant in conversation to be able to keep a women’s interest.

They don’t see anything they have to say as good enough, they pressure themselves to be witty with every comment they make, and thus they end up having little to say in a discussion.

This is why it’s crucial to stop romanticizing women. It will make it possible for you to relax around women, be confident, and speak your mind without second guessing yourself all the time. And this is a very attractive behavior, which coincidentally also makes dialogue feel effortless.

Of course, to stop romanticizing women is easier said than done. We are talking about changing a believing and behavioral habit, which demands particular psychological techniques. To dig into them, watch this instructional presentation in which I discuss this subject separately and more thoroughly.

Ask her some questions.

You want to show her that you’re interested in her while at the same time deciding whether she’s really worth your interest. [2] A great question will make her think, laugh, and like you, all at exactly the exact same time.

A question like, “Did you like the new movie that came out this weekend?” Instead, ask her what other movies she’s seen and why she likes them. This type of question will get a much longer answer from her.

Girls often like guys to make the first move. Instead of waiting for her to ask you questions, be proactive and do the asking first. You want a balanced conversation in which you find out what she’s all about while also sharing parts of yourself.

If you like this girl, then odds are you find something about her really fascinating. Ask her why she likes what she likes, or why she thinks what she thinks. Ask her something that you genuinely want to learn more about instead of asking questions simply to get her to talk. If you’re insincere, she’ll know, and your conversation will be dead in the water.

People love to talk about themselves. If you find out what she’s passionate about, the conversation will go naturally and easily. This is the easiest way to construct a connection.

Accept pauses.

You’re not going to be able to think of something to say at each point during the conversation, and that’s completely okay. Pauses are a natural part of conversation. Get her comfortable with the idea of pauses by using pauses or deliberations sparingly in your own speech.

Smile at her, have a sip from your drink or look around the room until you come up with something new to say. So long as you seem confident and interested, she’ll wait with plenty of anticipation for the next step in the conversation. If you look nervous or stare at your feet, then she’ll feel uncomfortable, and she’s very likely to say “see you later.”

Use pauses throughout the conversation. When you dive, look as though you are carefully considering what you want to say. She will be invested in trying to find out what you’re going to say next, and she may feel compelled to fill the silence with her own conversation.

People’s rate of speech naturally synchronizes when they’re talking. That means that people unconsciously mimic how quickly the other person is talking. So if you talk slowly, she’ll talk slowly, and the conversation will last longer. The key to talking slowly is being confident, not nervous.

Think of the pauses as her opportunity to impress you. Don’t feel as if you will need to create topic after topic for conversation. During the pause, you want to silently invite her to take the initiative. If she does, then you’ll know that she’s enjoying talking to you.

Notice what she gives you.

Here’s what I mean. If, during the conversation, she mentions that she went bowling last week with her very best friend, then you should ASK her about it. She’s giving you a way to ask her about her personal interests, and she’s hoping you’ll pick up on that, and run with it.

If she mentions that she went bowling, you could follow up with any of the following questions or remarks:

* Oh that’s cool, I used to bowl in a league.

* Who do you usually go bowling with? What other type of things you and your friends to together?

* I think that’s awesome that you like bowling, since it’s one of my favourite things.

Remember, take what she gives you, and use it as an entry way into a deeper conversation about personal interests, instead of being stuck in endless small talk (which she doesn’t want either).

Ask her direct questions about her personal interests.

Don’t make the mistake of spending too much time talking about “surface level” stuff, like the weather, or the other people in the place, or the band that’s playing.

That kind of conversation is only interesting for the first couple minutes, because she’s waiting for you to take it to the next level.

If you see that she’s wearing an interesting necklace, ask her about it. If you saw her playing pool before, ask her who taught her how to play.

The point is… you need to talk about personal stuff, not surface level crap. Start with small talk, but move out of it after a few minutes, or she’ll get bored of the conversation (and so will you).

Think of amusing and interesting stories

Always have a few interesting and special stories. Consider them before you go out so they are at your disposal. They ought to be stories that are smooth conversation starters like, “The weirdest thing just happened to me, you wouldn’t believe it!” If you tell it well, she’ll be on the edge of her seat, wanting to find out more. Whatever you decide to discuss, be certain it makes you look good — you want to come across as confident and humorous, but not arrogant. These stories will distinguish you from everyone else, and will offer her some insight into your character, enough for her to want to find out more.

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how to start an sms conversation with a woman

how to start an sms conversation with a woman

how to start an sms conversation with a woman

Observe and critique the last guy to chat her up

If you spot someone who fails horribly while trying to pick up on a woman, approach her shortly after he leaves. She should find a laugh out of this. This communicates all the right things, and is a simple in for you to shine with good conversation, and a playful, winning personality.

Think of amusing and interesting stories

Always have a couple interesting and unique stories. Consider them before you go out so they are at your disposal. They should be stories that are smooth conversation starters like, “The weirdest thing just happened to me, you wouldn’t believe it!” If you tell it well, she’ll be on the edge of her seat, wanting to find out more. Whatever you decide to talk about, make certain it makes you look good — you want to come across as confident and humorous, but not arrogant. These stories will distinguish you from everyone else, and will offer her some insight into your character, enough for her to want to know more.

Make yourself look good throughout the conversation.

You want to discover as much as you can about her, but you also want to be sure that you show yourself at your best.

Talk about a subject that makes you feel passionate and persuasive. When you’re talking about something really positive, you’re going to be at your very best. If you are passionate about music, then talk about your favorite bands. For those who have something that you love to do, then talk about it with her.

Make sure that you give her equal time. You definitely need to share something about yourself, but in case you just talk about you, she’s going to think you’re self-centered, and she’s not going to speak with you.

Don’t offer opinions about subjects you know nothing about. Your goal is to impress the girl with your wit, your conversation, and your intelligence. If you blather about something you’re opinionated but uninformed about, you won’t come off as very intelligent.

Ask her some questions.

You need to show her that you’re interested in her while at the same time deciding whether she’s really worth your interest. [2] A excellent question will make her think, laugh, and like you, all at exactly the same time.

A question like, “Did you enjoy the new movie that came out this weekend?” will get you either a “yes” or a “no” but may not launch a meaningful conversation. This type of question will get a much longer answer from her.

Girls often like guys to make the first move. Instead of waiting for her to ask you questions, be proactive and do the asking first. Once she’s answered your question, nod and then provide your own perspective. You need a balanced conversation in which you find out what she’s about while also sharing parts of yourself.

If you like this girl, then chances are you find something about her really fascinating. Ask her why she likes what she likes, or why she thinks what she thinks. Ask her something that you genuinely wish to learn more about rather than asking questions simply to get her to talk. If you’re insincere, she’ll know, and your conversation will be dead in the water.

People love to talk about themselves. If you find out what she’s passionate about, the conversation will go naturally and easily. This is the easiest way to construct a connection.

Focus on her, not you.

Don’t let anxieties of being shot down or approaching a woman turn you off from talking to a woman. If she chooses not to respond to you, it is not about you. It’s about her. She probably isn’t searching for anyone, has her own insecurities, or isn’t interested.

If you are focusing on what you’re going to say next or the thoughts in your head, she will pick up on the fact that she doesn’t have 100% of your attention. Why? You’re too focused on yourself.

The point is, if you’re both listening to your own thoughts or you get distracted by something else, then you aren’t having a conversation with someone else in the first place!

The mere idea of having to initiate conversation with others, let alone a girl, is draining, intimidating, and daunting for introverts. This isn’t bad, it’s just the way it is. Keep in mind, half of the population are introverts, so it can be equally hard for women to respond back. It is doable and is easiest to do when you are doing things that you like doing.

Play a game

There are a great deal of fun little games you can play that will find a woman locked into a conversation with you. Use your environment, and try some fun, playful games to get her attention. By way of example, if you are sitting in a restaurant and you spot a woman at another table, you could play tic-tac-toe on a napkin, and have your waiter deliver it to the unsuspecting target. Look on the internet and find all kinds of fun games that involve language, memory or skill.

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how to start and continue a conversation with a girl

how to start and continue a conversation with a girl

how to start and continue a conversation with a girl

Find out Her Interests

Guys often have a hard time knowing what to talk about with a girl because they don’t know her interests.

One approach to address this predicament is by trial and error. You begin talking about a certain topic that you think she may be considering, and if she does indeed appear interested, you keep talking about it. Otherwise, you move to another topic, and another, and another, wanting to find those that she can relate to. And this is a natural part of a regular conversation.

However, there’s an even better way to manage this predicament. I usually like to ask something like: “So, what do you like to do?” or “Tell me: what are your interests?”

She will mention a few of them, then I know what I can discuss that she’ll enjoy. I then identify among those topics the ones I enjoy too, and I know these are directions I can confidently take the conversation in. This is how to keep a conversation going with a girl by finding common ground.

Accept pauses.

You’re not going to be able to think of something to say at every point during the conversation, and that’s completely okay. Pauses are a natural part of conversation. Get her comfortable with the notion of pauses by using pauses or deliberations sparingly in your own speech.

Smile at her, have a sip from your drink or look around the room until you come up with something new to say. As long as you seem confident and interested, she’ll wait with plenty of anticipation for the next step in the conversation. If you look nervous or stare at your feet, then she’ll feel uncomfortable, and she’s likely to say “see you later.”

Use pauses throughout the conversation. When you pause, look as if you’re carefully considering what you want to say. She will be invested in trying to learn what you’re going to say , and she could feel pressured to fill the silence with her own conversation.

People’s rate of speech naturally synchronizes when they’re talking. That means that people unconsciously mimic how quickly the other person is talking. So if you talk slowly, she’ll talk slowly, and the conversation will last longer. The key to talking slowly is being confident, not nervous.

Consider the pauses as her chance to impress you. Don’t feel as if you need to generate topic after topic for conversation. During the pause, you need to silently invite her to take the initiative. If she does, then you’ll know that she’s enjoying talking to you.

Don’t be an ass.

Do not play devil’s advocate unless you’re doing it in a sensitive and non-combative way for somebody who you know will love it never, ever play devil’s advocate if you don’t even know what perspective you may be trying to share, and you just need an excuse to irritate someone and act like a dick.

If someone is describing a particular problem to you, she may or may not want your advice. One way that you know is to wait for her to throw a What do you think? If they don’t ask, she might not want it. It’s quite normal for attempts at problem-solving to come out as criticism, blame, or sheer insensitivity; she might just want you to listen. If you’re really dying to weigh in, venture one comment and find out how it’s received. If the other person acts irritated or confused by what you said, that’s a really clear cue not to proceed with five more suggestions. Many a conversation has spiraled out of control–and many a relationship has been damaged–because one person is uncomfortable with another individual’s pain or anxiety.

Incidentally, this–turning to someone for emotional support–is perhaps the one situation where a monologue is allowed. If you are in distress, those close to you will forgive your explaining the awful situation and expressing your resulting stress. However, it’s not something you need to unleash on acquaintances.

Ask open-ended questions.

The difference between a close-ended question and an open-ended question is that if you ask a close-ended question the answer is either yes or no. An open-ended question uses What, When, Where, How and Why, but the purpose behind asking the questions is to elicit someone else’s opinions, thoughts, and feelings.

Before you head out the door, create a list of 5 or 10 things you can talk about — be it current events, politics, sports, or a hobby — and be open to listening and hearing differing opinions.

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